Everything I think you need to know

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY

2011-06-16T09:36:00.000-06:00

On this day, three years ago at 7:48am - my little 7lb baby boy was born! I remember giving birth as being a magical moment, a moment of awww. I remember having that "Wow" feeling, looking at him thinking... holy crap...we made that! The miracle of life truly is amazing, and now that he is 3 and has become a little boy there has been other times in those 3 years where I was thinking ... ((sigh)) we ... made that!??? lol I don't think I ever gave parenting half as much credit as I should have growing up and it funny now that I am an adult I think about life changing times with my parents and how those times probably made me who I am today. I asked my Mom once if she remembered the time when I stopped holding her hand, she doesn't remember - but in it was a moment I won't forget. I also remember the time we were driving an my Mom kinda told me that I was asking too many questions, until that day I never really thought about all the questions I asked but after she pointed it out I realized that yes I did ask a lot of questions.

Most days Jacob drives me nuts with his constant questions and a lot of times I have to step back and remind myself that he is young, everything is new to him, he is just learning. And maybe the more he learns now the smarter he will be later on? We are still in the process of potty training, he is really good if he's naked but that is hard to do when your not a stay at home mom. He often insists on wearing his "big boy underwear" instead of pull-ups and I try to remind him that he can't pee in them but I think he still thinks they are like pull-ups or just doesn't care. But if he has nothing on (no where for the pee to go) then he will go in the potty, even #2's.

He is at the age now that I think most kids go through of asking for toys, if I have to run to the store he insists on going to the toy store as well - because he needs to buy a new tractor or garbage truck. If he sees a commercial he will tell me he wants what ever the toy is. I am often torn between buying the toy to make him stop the tantrum or letting him cry it out, which is SUPER hard to do when you are in a store with other adults and they look at you like a horrible parent as your 'spoiled' child freaks out in the middle of the store! Sometimes it is just easier to buy the toy and move on, hopefully he forgets about it by the time you get home and I hide it (saving it for a birthday or 'good' behaviour day). Sometimes I donate the toys or use them as gifts when he has birthday parties to attend.

He now clearly knows what he likes and doesn't like and will often tell me he doesn't like someone or something. I feel really bad when we are sitting beside someone and he pipes up "Mommy, I don't like him" (I usually don't blame him, I don't like the guy either) I try to explain that its not nice to say things like that but he doesn't understand.
He is still a picky eater, I try to introduce new foods but he often says "it's yucky" even before trying it. He used to love broccoli, pasta and corn dogs but now if I make those things he turns his nose up at them. His favorite food right now is probably french fries, burgers, corn and yogurt. He has his beloved puppy that goes with him everywhere and needs frequent 'baths', I'm worried that soon his puppy will need some stitches (which I'm not very good at). He still likes to read books and he loves building puzzles (which he is surprisingly good at). He builds LEGO toys with his Dad all the time and likes anything that has wheels or motors.

an interesting article...

2011-05-18T14:06:00.001-06:00

Just thought I would post a interesting article that I came across, this would be why I can not have a "cheat day" on my diet. Hope you enjoy - :)

http://www.statusfitnessmagazine.com/cheating-how-much-too-much

Another week 1 - Great # !!

2011-05-04T13:14:00.004-06:00

Back on IP - and after one week of pretty much staying on track (there was a few cheats) I am back down to 181.8, a loss of -8.4lbs!! It truly is amazing, if you are ever in the need to shed a quick 5lbs IP is definitely the way to go! However.... I had a very had time over the weekend trying to stay on track, and even though I did, I did a lot of thinking about my lifestyle. I always kind of knew that I was not a salad every day type girl and I knew that IP wasn't a lifestyle change I wanted but it did help me loose the weight. So tonight when I go see my coach I think I am going to tell her that I am taking the summer off of IP. I need to figure out a healthy eating lifestyle I can do everyday. I'm thinking more along the lines of a low GI diet, with healthy carbs. My plan is not to loose (although that would be OK) over the summer but to maintain. A friend of mine was telling me about a book called "This is why your fat" by Jackie Warner, it seems like a great book and I'm considering getting it just for a few meal plan ideas.

I haven't chatted about Jacob for a while so I thought I would update you on a few things .... last night I went shopping for a few things for him that we need in our trailer. And as I walked through the "baby" department I realized there is nothing there for him anymore... I had to go to the "boys" department! It was a happy/ sad moment, my baby is no longer in that category. We are currently working very hard on potty training, he does really good IF you remember to ask him every hour or force him to go every hour. But he is not at the stage of telling me yet, which makes it hard when we have to have sitters. I feel like I have tried everything, last night he was very insistent about wearing his 'big boy' undies (which he had to wear backwards so that Lightning McQueen was on the front) and I kept trying to remind him to make sure to tell Dad when he had to go. But I guess ten minutes after I left to go shopping he peed his pants. :( Potty training has got to be the hardest thing I have gone through with him ... so far. However he is excelling in vocabulary, he speaks full sentences and is at the "why" stage. Some days I pray for 2 min of quietness, even though I know it's totally healthy to ask tons of questions at this age. He has opened up a lot and before he used to hide behind me when new kids approached him, now he goes right up to them and says "hi", I love seeing him make new friends and being able to play with complete strangers.

Back on plan!!

2011-04-27T11:28:00.003-06:00

Well ... as you can see I had a slight gain (about 15lbs) but I can say in my defence that I did go crazy overboard a few days before re-committing myself, saying "Good-bye" to all my old favorites and there was Easter in there too with the yummy Purdy's chocolate! :) So, I'm sure that if I would have drank a bunch of water and waited a few days to do my official weigh in it would prob be lower but then I could always have a excuse. I am back on track with IP, and although I wouldn't say I'm loving it ... I am happy to have a plan. I didn't realize how lost I was without a plan, when I packed my lunch I really didn't have much of an idea of what or how much to pack. I don't think I am learning as much on IP for eating healthy after as I have on other plans but I know that IP gets the weight off. So, my plan is to keep on IP till I'm either at goal or passed (I might want to go below goal a couple pounds). I will phase off like you are suppose to but I really can't see myself making these huge breakfasts every morning, I really am not a morning/ breakfast person. I would like to continue with shakes/ yogurt/ fruit in the morning. I don't think I can do salads everyday for lunch for the rest of my life so I will prob change that a bit when I get to goal and go with a more low GI type diet, which also means I will probably have to workout everyday to maintain. Which is fine, I do miss going to the gym and I actually think once I am in ketosis I will start going back to the gym just to tone up a bit.

I know it's been a while since posting and not much has happened except for my crazy eating and gaining what I once lost. :( We bought a new hot tub which I'm pretty excited about trying out. Hubby went in last night and said it was really nice but I stayed in to watch Biggest Loser. I think Jacob and I will try it out tonight. Race season is about to start, which means working 7 days a week and camping at the track most weekends. It also means that I probably won't see/ talk much with hubby since he is always busy doing something for the track. Hershey is also finished school now and surprisingly passed with a 92/100!! :) I am hoping that I will be able to take her to the dog park and when I call her she will actually come but that was one of the things she wasn't so good at in class. I blame her nose, it got the best of her and she got distracted. So ... here's to hoping that next Wed my weigh in will be amazing!! I really want to have a sneak at the scale but I also want to see the big # so I will wait till next week to weigh in.

Need to make a decision...

2011-04-07T14:27:00.003-06:00

Well, I went and talked to my 'coach' last night, it was the first time I've seen her in over a month!! (Probably been about 5 weeks since I last saw her cause it was always her niece there). It was nice to see her again after all this time and I think it was good to talk to her, someone that has "been there, done that". She said she was also having trouble getting back on 100% and she said she also gained 10lbs while on holidays, which made me feel a bit better. Not that I gained 10lbs while technically on holidays but since my last weigh in which was about 5 weeks ago I have gained 10lbs! :( I can't believe it myself, 10lbs in 5 weeks!?!? OMG! I will be back in my fat pants in no time at that rate! Sooooo ..... I need to make a decision!

I need to either decide to go back on IP 100% - no cheats, stick to the plan! OR .... try something new/ old? My thoughts on all of it is that I know IP works IF you stick to the plan 100% but it will work and it will work fast! I am just not that excited about starting it again, it wasn't really a diet I would say was "easy" to follow or one that I actually enjoyed. I'm not sure I even really learned anything on it but that could be because I never fazed out all the way. I like the idea of trying something new cause then it's exciting and new BUT ... will it work??? And then there is always the old stand by ... NS and the gym. It worked for me the first time I tried to diet and I still believe that even though it is a packaged food diet, I feel like I learned more on that diet. It broke more of my habits and taught me more about portion sizes. I feel like on NS it was more balanced then IP - I was able to have yogurt, fruit and whole grain foods, it is based on a low GI diet but on NS I didn't do well the last time I was on it cause I had the idea I was maintaining not loosing!? I just don't know what I want to do ... I'm so sick of salad but I know IP works. I am not happy with my weight yet and feel like I still have another 20lbs to go (10lbs from holidays and the last 10lbs I had before holidays). I need to figure this out and hopefully soon, cause I'm worried that if I don't have a plan I will continue to fail or in this case gain. :P

found a cool website

2011-03-30T13:15:00.004-06:00

So I was doing some blog rolling the other day ... came across a good IP blog and she had posted a link to this website I thought was pretty neat! You upload a pic of you and then you can add or subtract as much weight as you want and it will do a before and after picture!! It's not totally 100% and honestly I can't really see that much difference in my two pics but I think that's cause I only removed 15 pounds. I think if you have lots of weight to loose it would be a good motivator, just to see how you could look at goal! :) Here are my before and after:

And this is the website -- http://makeovr.com/weightmirror/ check it out!! :D

sick & tired ....

2011-03-28T13:05:00.003-06:00

So, since getting back from holidays I have been sick and tired, apparently this cold I have is very draining! We have been going to bed by 9pm and not waking till 7 the next day so I'm definitely getting my sleep. I am finding it soooo hard to start dieting again! After taking a break at Christmas time it was hard then to get back at it but this time it seems worse!? I still really want to loose those last 15ish pounds and I know it won't take that much longer if I just stick to the plan. The problem I am having is that I know that once you start IP there are no cheat days, there are no 'just one bites' - you have to be committed, you have to be 100%. This is what I am finding hard to commit to. I am soooo sick of salads but yet I am also sick of feeling fat and heavy from not eating the right foods. I went for my weigh in last week and was going to start this week but it is already Mon and I haven't started yet. I'm suppose to be going for a weigh in again on Wed but now I'm thinking of postponing that, since I haven't started yet there won't be any change. And my coach wasn't even the one that weighed me in last week, it was her niece again!? I thought for sure my coach would have wanted to see me after my holiday and such but she sent her niece instead?

Below I have posted a pic of me - it's not the most flattering pic but definitely the most recent. I don't think I look bad but I do still see a muffin top that I would like to get rid of and I think I need to exercise more to help tone up!? But you aren't suppose to exercise on IP, so maybe I might have to do an alternative plan or find a new plan? I just like how fast IP is, I just don't know if I can be committed to it again? It's like a love hate relationship!? LOL

Back from holidays

2011-03-23T12:55:00.004-06:00

We have actually been back home now for a week but it has been a busy week back. I will first let you all know that I only gained 2.5lbs while on holidays (not bad for 2 weeks at a all-inclusive resort!). However I gained about 5lbs before we even left, which is expected - they say that when you go off IP plan to expect to gain 5lbs, which is why my coach wants me to actually be 5lbs below goal before coming off IP forever! So I suppose in the big picture I didn't do too bad but I am still up about 7lbs. I have my official weigh in tonight so I will know for sure how much I have set myself back. I haven't started back on IP 100% yet, I was going to do so after my weigh in tonight. Part of me is excited to get back on plan and start to loose again but the other part of me is really enjoying being off plan and eating whatever I crave! :P I will start at it again though so I can loose the last 15ish pounds and be a happier me for summer!

Our holiday was good, Jacob was amazing on the flight - he seemed a little scared when we first got on the plane and changed his mind about wanting to fly but we held his little hands and he was great! He had no issues with his ears and seemed happy to watch a few movies, the six hour flight didn't seem that long. We didn't do too much while we were there, the resort was huge so that kept us busy for the first two days - trying to figure out where everything was and what restaurants we liked. This resort had 3 buffets (one Mexican, one Italian and one International) then it also had 4 or 5 a la carte. They had tons of things for the kids to do, including a daycare center that you could drop your kid off for a few hours if you wanted to, there was a water park for the kids and every evening a 'mini disco' to entertain the kids. We went on three tours, Xplorer - where we got to go on zip lines, swim in the caves and float on rafts. Hubby and I went to Coba by ourselves which was amazing and a great tour pack! Then all of us went to Xel-Ha where we floated down the river and did some snorkeling. Hubby and I went into Playa del Carmen for a fancy dinner by our self where he had a giant lobster tail and I enjoyed a Starbucks (I really missed my coffee). The flight home was a little harder then the one there, lots more kids and lots more noise! But we made it home, we all have a nice tan and the weather here will hopefully improve next week and all our snow will be gone! :) I think two weeks might have been a bit long with a 2 and a half year old and I'm not sure I would do two weeks at one resort again but it was a great experience and I am so grateful that the in laws were there to help with Jacob when we were getting a little stressed.

So I posted a couple pics, one of Coba - we climbed to the top! One is Jacob having some fun in the pool and the other is Jacob at the airport with his little backpack. He loved his backpack and wanted to drag it all over the place! It was so cute!

weigh in ...

2011-02-25T10:42:00.002-07:00

well - I had my last weigh in on Tues (I know a few days ago) and there wasn't much change, in fact I gained a few ounces already. I weighed in again this morning and I am up a few pounds. Kinda expected from switching from diet mode to non-diet and I have been eating quiet horrible lately!? We had pizza on the weekend and Chinese on Wed and I have had a huge craving for chocolate (even though after one bite I get a instant headache).

I really need to get my head wrapped around the fact that this is a life time change, its a forever thing ... not just stop the diet and go back to eating crap? But it's soooo incredibly hard, I feel like it's my right or I earned it ?? I also have a feeling that maybe I am allergic to sugar? I get the headache and my face breaks out almost instantly after having some!? I think I might have to stay away from sugar for life? Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing?

We leave in 4 days to go to Mexico and the close the day comes the more excited I am getting!! I can't believe that we are actually going on a trip!? Its been a long time since I have been on a plane and Jacob has never been on a plane so this makes me nervous!? I hope he does OK and behaves good! I am hoping I have enough things in his carry on to keep him busy for 6 hours!~? I'm hoping that he doesn't drive me completely insane with all his questions about all the new things (I'm certain that this WILL happen, and I know it's completely normal and healthy for him to ask so many questions but sometimes it gets very tiring answering a thousand questions when all you want to do is relax or read a book)

We have a very busy weekend planned, tonight we have a bday party to go to and Jacob is having a sleepover at the grandparents. Tomorrow morning is gymnastics then another bday party for a youth group I used to belong to. Then Sunday we have a baby shower. I also would like to get a start on packing and laundry. I am taking Tuesday off next week to take the dogs to the kennel so I will have lots of time to pack then but I don't like leaving things to last minute. I feel like I have so much to do still and only 4 days!! :0

Weigh in

2011-02-17T09:23:00.002-07:00

Well - another week of maintaining, seems to be my pattern. One week I have no change and the next there is a loss. This week I gained +0.4lbs, which in my mind is considered maintaining. Things have been going well on Phase II, I don't feel like I am in any hurry to go to Phase III, all that means is that I won't loose anymore and it will be more work to prepare meals. I feel like I could stay on this phase for my lifetime, I'm not a big breakfast person and really don't have much time to make breakfast in the morning.

We leave for Mexico in 12 days and I still have a few things to do, although we do plan on buying things there so I don't have to worry about packing shampoos and soaps. I need to make sure we have enough things to entertain Jacob for the 6 hour flight! I think I should buy a new back pack for when we go on tours, new sneakers for me and maybe a money belt?

Jacob gave me a cold for Valentines day! :( But it should be OK cause now I have 12 days to get rid of it and be healthy for our trip!! He woke up this morning and said his ear hurt so I might have to take him to the doctors tonight to make sure he doesn't have a ear infection~that would be horrible to deal with on a plane!!

Yesterday I had a makeover! I know, surprised right!? I never really told anyone that I was doing it. A girl I know that works at this salon posted something on Face Book that they were having a contest and I thought what the heck... I probably won't win anyway ... I never win these kind of things!? But guess what .... I got a email saying they picked me... yes... me!! WOW - so then I started freaking out, not so much about what they would do to me but I knew this meant they would take before and after pics and post them somewhere!?!? So last night I went, all nervous for the picture. The lady that did my hair was pretty good, she put streaks in my hair and did this head massage thing when she shampooed it that felt amazing!! She styled it in a way that wasn't really my style and needless to say I was unsuccessful at doing it this morning. She used a iron thing, which I don't have and a hair dryer which I also don't own... I know - its crazy... what kind of girl doesn't own a hair dryer!?! Well, it's just not that important to me!? But after last night I might go get one just so I can 'try' and do my hair when I go out on special occasions!? ;) Then I went for makeup and as I sat there I wondered, why the heck didn't I book this appointment for a Sat? I won't even be able to show anyone my new look or do?! I just went home after and washed all their hard work off. I did feel quiet glamorous though! It was fun, I'm glad I didn't chicken out of it and now I just to try and do it again - first though I need to buy the proper supplies!!

The hair salon said they would send me copies of my before and after pics and I will make sure I post them here to let all you see them too!!

Weigh in

2011-02-09T11:41:00.003-07:00

So this is my 2nd weigh in on Phase II and after last weeks weigh in I was starting to wonder if maybe I wouldn't loose anything at all on Phase II?! But this morning I saw a -3.4lb loss!!! I am pleased that I am now only 6lbs away from goal and might actually be able to see goal before I leave for Mexico!? I'm suppose to start Phase III tomorrow, which means adding breakfast, it excites me cause I love breakfast but I don't have time in the morning to make eggs and toast. I am a grab and go girl so I need to think of things that I can take to work and eat here.

Last week I made crust less quiche which would be good for a grab and go type breakfast, I could make individual servings and put my bread in a Ziploc to toast once at work. I believe I am also suppose to have fruit and yogurt now too, which I'm pretty excited about - I was starting to really miss fruit and dairy.

Last week I also made some kale chips, when I made them with vinegar they were so yummy - just like salt and vinegar chips! I made some black bean brownies, which were also yummy and nice for a treat. Last night I made fennel salad and it was really yummy! These are three things I have never eaten before and I'm glad I tried them, I will probably eat them even when I'm not on a diet!

We have had a few busy weeks, we are still trying to get my Dads house ready to go on the market to sell. We took Jacob to the Monster Truck show last weekend, which he loved!! And we went swimming to the water park, which was also a good time but made me realize that I need to buy a new swim suit before our holiday!!

Jacob has been so funny lately, he really cracks me up! His imagination is crazy now, and I love to hear the things he has to say. The other day I picked him up from the day home and he had a little truck with him, he held it really close to his eye and told me there was a whale in there, a really big whale. So I played along and acted surprised, he shoves the truck in my eye and says look Mommy, theres a whale in there! LOL How he figures a whale can drive his truck is beyond me but it was cute the way he insisted it was there.

I have a busy few days coming up, trying to get ready for our trip. I need to buy new shoes for me and Jacob, new swimsuit for me and I need to try and buy things to put in Jacobs carry-on that will keep him entertained for the six hour flight!! :0 I bought some new suitcases last week, the hard shell ones and probably spent way too much but at least they will last a lifetime! :) This Friday is the day I plan on saying good-bye to my beloved dog, she is really old and things are becoming very difficult for her. Her hips are giving out and she falls a lot, I haven't made the call yet to make the appointment but I am trying to prepare myself that that will be the day. :(

Weigh in

2011-02-02T11:21:00.002-07:00

Weigh in this week wasn't the best, it was my first week on Phase II and it went fairly well - I suppose!? I only had a -0.2lb loss which is really no loss at all, except that it now put me in the 178's! I should be happy with this, this means that I was able to maintain during the transition to Phase II but I still feel like I want to loose those last 10lbs! :( I had a hard time adding the protein and taking away a shake, the first few days I felt like I was eating so much and wondered if I had to eat even though I wasn't hungry. Then the last few days I changed my protein to something a little smaller, 2 hard boiled eggs, but felt hungry. I think I came out of ketosis cause I had lack of energy, cravings and no loss. I hope this week will go a little better, I think I will cut down on my lunch protein a bit (meaning instead of having steak for lunch like I did the first couple days I will have eggs or low fat ham). I will also increase my veggies by about a half cup (if needed), hopefully this will work and I will continue to loose and stay in ketosis?

We have a funeral to go to tomorrow, hubbies Grandpa. It is the first and hopefully the last of funerals for this year!? We had enough of them last year!!

Weigh in

2011-01-26T09:22:00.004-07:00

For some reason I kinda thought I would have a bigger loss for weigh in, not that I'm not happy with the -1.6lbs loss!!! :D But I just thought it would be more for some reason? I have a NSV too!! (non-scale victory) .... I tried on my pre-pregnancy jeans (size 9) and guess what?!? They fit, I had to wiggle a bit to get them on but it wasn't like I needed a coat hanger to zip them up! Another couple pounds and they will fit really good! It's actually kinda funny how the last time I fit in these jeans I was about 5lbs thinner. They say that on IP you loose fat instead of muscle so it's interesting to me that I weigh more but fit a smaller size, maybe it's true? Can you imagine that if/ when I do get to goal (10 more pounds) what size jean I will be in then!??! I hate to judge myself purely on vanity size but it sure feels good to be in single digit jeans!!! :o

I have 4 more weeks till we go to Mexico, there is still lots for me to do. I have to buy Jacob new sneakers and sandals (if I can find them) he will also probably need a new swim suit!? Plus I need to pack his carry on with lots of new toys and things to entertain him for 6 hours!!? I should be ok for clothes cause I can now bring out all my skinny summer clothes!! However I might need to find myself a new pair of sandals too!? I heard there is a Wal Mart in Mexico now so we might stop there to buy some stuff instead of packing it all.

Starting tomorrow I am suppose to start phase II and I'm kinda nervous about it, I still want to loose more and I don't think I will but I want to phase off properly this time and not like I did at Christmas. The Fat chicks website has been useful in giving me advice on what to have for my lunch protein so that I'm not having to cook a whole chicken every two days!

Good weekend

2011-01-24T12:39:00.004-07:00

We had a excellent weekend! Sat I took Jacob to gymnastics, then dropped him off at the inlaws so that I could go help my Mom clean up the house. We spent a little longer then expected cleaning and packing but I feel like we got lots done! On Sunday, I got to sleep in (yeah) then cleaned house a bit, when Jacob went for his nap I went shopping for a couple hours but had to be home by 3pm cause we were taking Jacob to his first show! Toopy and Binoo!!! Jacob LOVES Toopy so I figured this would be a good show for him. The show was about a hour and a half and had a 20 min intermission. Jacob did good - he sat on either mine or Dads lap for the entire show and only started to get restless during the last 10 minutes. We bought him a shirt and a light wand thing. As soon as we got home he HAD to put the shirt on and wouldn't take it off, he's probably still wearing it! haha It was nice to see him enjoy himself, we will definitely be going to more shows. I wanted to take him to the circus when it's in town but we will be in Mexico so maybe next year!

I feel good this week, I'm thinking ketosis has kicked in cause I have more energy then before, no head ache and my hunger/ cravings are mild. I made my veggie soup so for lunches this week I have been having a salad AND soup! I wonder if that will effect my weight loss?? Guess I'll find out on Wed! I am also thinking that by this time next week I should be able to fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans!!!! I'm pretty excited, I can't wait to shop off the rack again and get good deals on clothes.

weigh in ....

2011-01-20T09:34:00.003-07:00

I am sooo tired today, Jacob has a cold (which he decided to share with me) so he was coughing all night, woke up twice and came in our room. Then the dog decided she needed out, twice! I had a hard time falling back asleep every time I woke up so I probably only got about 4 hours of sleep!? I am the type of person that NEEDS at least 6-7 hours of sleep, 8 would be perfect! :( So today might be a long day and early to bed kind of day!

Yesterday was weigh in day and I am sad to say that for the first time ever I gained!?!? +0.8lbs!! Not a bunch but still, its weird to have a gain without having a real cheat!? I feel like I wasn't in ketosis for the past week, even though I had a huge loss the week before? I weighed myself at home on Sunday and was up almost 2lbs so I cut back on my coffee intake and had a big glass of water before I could have anymore coffee. I think this helped cause by weigh in day I almost dropped that weight and this morning I weighed myself again and I am back to 179.6 so hopefully this week will be much better!!

My coach was there this time, which made me happy cause I really don't like dealing with her niece. Not that her niece is mean but she is really skinny and has no clue about IP, if she was there again I was going to tell her I was switching coaches. So I was talking to my coach and since I am close to goal and I am going to Mexico in 5 weeks, we decided that I should start phasing out, starting next week I am moving on to phase II!! :o I'm kinda excited, kinda nervous. She says the only thing that really changes is that instead of having a shake with my lunch salad I have 5oz of lean meat, just like dinner. 5oz of meat is a lot! Part of me thinks about the cost, right now I am having about 1 1/2 chicken breast for dinner so I would have to buy/cook 3 chicken breast per day!!! WOW and meat is expensive too!! I think I will start buying it from Costco, they supposedly have good meat anyway. So I will do phase II for 2 weeks then switch to phase III and by the time we go on our trip I should be good! I might not be at goal though cause I will loose slower on phase II.

Oh - I got measured last night too cause even though I didn't loose any weight I told her I felt skinnier, my muffin top felt smaller. I have lost 4 inches alone in my waist since the middle of Dec!! She didn't believe it and asked me twice if the measuring tape was on my belly button!?! LOL So since starting with IP I have lost a total of 22 inches and 38.6lbs, in 13ish weeks!! :)

Tonight I am making veggie soup, I'm pretty excited about it - not sure why? Maybe cause it will be a change from having salad everyday and it will keep me nice and warm since it's winter here and not so nice out! I plan on using one of the 2 cups of veggies I'm allowed for the soup and still have one cup of veggies in my salad. But now I will feel like I have two meals, soup AND salad!! :) It might also make the transition to eating more a little easier!? I also have a couple WS products in my cupboard which are similar to IP but higher in carbs, so I was thinking I might use those up in my transition - maybe when I am in phase III? I'll have to check the labels on them to see if they are good!?

5 weeks ....

2011-01-17T12:30:00.002-07:00

In 5 weeks .... in 5 weeks we are going to Mexico, in 5 weeks I want to be at my goal, in 5 weeks I plan on being in my pre-pregnancy jeans!! Doesn't seem very long, and although I only have another 10lbs to go to get to goal I feel like these last 10lbs and 5 weeks are going to the toughest yet! I feel like ever since Christmas it has been hard to be 100%, which is making the diet hard to follow. IP is the type of diet you have to be committed 100%, there are no 'cheat days', you have to stick with the plan - no nibbling off your sons plate, no extras, just stick to the plan and you will feel good, loose weight and not be hungry! I however have been having a few "cheats" making me not fall into ketosis and making me feel hungry and crave certain foods. It's all such a mental thing for me - I feel like I have come pretty far but I also feel like I have sacrificed enough and want that cheat. I don't think I will do well on this weeks weigh in.

I also feel like my "coach" isn't doing much coaching, last week she wasn't even at my appt, she sent her niece to do my weigh in. Which would be fine if her niece had any idea of what IP was and could answer my questions but no ... she is clueless and ubber skinny, clearly never having a weight issue! If my coach is not there again this week I am going to tell the niece to hand over my file and that I am going to a different coach, one that wants to see me and how I'm doing!

There is how ever a bit of good news .... I was getting a little stressed that I still have 10lbs to go before I am where I was before. I was worried that my skinny shorts won't fit me till I'm at that goal weight making me have to find/ buy new shorts for our trip! However .... I tried all my skinny shorts on yesterday and they ALL fit!!! :D I'm soooo happy that I don't have that stress anymore, it's OK if I don't get to goal before my trip. Although I feel like if I don't get to goal before my trip I'm not sure I will come back on IP after our trip!? I may just live off IP for a while, just eat "healthy".

Weigh in!

2011-01-12T11:15:00.004-07:00

Well, I lost track of what week I am on... I think technically I am on week 13 after taking two weeks off for Christmas? Any who ... all that really matters is that I finally got rid of my Christmas weight and more!!! :) For this week I am down another -4.4lbs!! Putting me under 180 and into the 70's!! I am only 10 more pounds away from goal which should totally be do able before we leave in 6 weeks!!! I love seeing the big # loss on the scale it makes it all worth it, all the temptations I passed on, all the cravings I have turned away from - all totally worth it! And I really don't feel that deprived!? I still have my coffee (actually I am having more then I probably should cause it's cold outside and I feel like it's my little treat!), I sometimes have a little more veggies or meat at supper time, I even have a Tim's once and awhile!! I am used to having salad for lunch and actually enjoy it (most days). Although I do have cravings and feel hungry more then I think I did on other diets. I am a little worried about getting to goal, I am worried that I will not stick to maintenance, I will feel like I earned the pizza/burger/cookie/etc that I crave. I worry that because I still have these cravings that I will always have to fight the little devil on my shoulder. The only time I want to gain weight again is if I get pregnant! Otherwise I want to try and stay within 5lbs of my goal. Hopefully this won't be too hard!?

Fat Mii :(

2011-01-11T14:45:00.004-07:00

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I'm not sure if I have lost all my Christmas weight yet?! Not that it's a huge deal... it will eventually, but it is taking a bit longer then I had hoped or thought it would. I think part of me was hoping that after taking a few weeks off that when I started up again I would have a huge loss like I did the very first week I started. I don't think this is the case?! So on the weekend I decided that I would try to workout a bit, it was a pretty physical day, in the morning I took Jacob to his gymnastics class (which is parent and tot) so I got a fairly good work out there running after him. After lunch I put Jacob down for his nap and decided I would go on the Wii for a bit. It has been a very long time since I have been on it (366 days according to the Wii) apparently over a year!!! :o I was soooo looking forward to watching my Mii shrink but to my surprise it barely thinned out at all!??! Apparently since the last time I had been on the Wii I have only lost 16lbs, it still said I was 'overweight' and my Wii ballooned out. It was so sad, stupid Wii game! I sucked at most of the games and did put in 40 minutes of a workout, reaching my goal for the day. Then after supper we went outside and played in the snow for a bit, which was also a workout since I had to carry Jacob and the dog through the thick snow!

The next day I was so exhausted and didn't do much. I would like to set a goal to go on the Wii at least every other day. So far I have not been back on it, LOL! I really want a thinner Mii!! :(

6 more weeks till our holiday, and 6 more weeks to fit into my summer clothes!! I'll post tomorrow how my weigh in goes. Hopefully I'm back to pre-Christmas weight!! ;)

back on track...

2011-01-05T10:24:00.003-07:00

Well after a two week break from IP I am back on track and once again following the plan. I must admit that at the end of my two week free for all I was kinda excited to be on a plan again and my salad tasted wonderful!! On day 2 I started feeling that crappy feeling, I had a headache for most of the afternoon and was very lazy. Day 3 was a bit better, no headache but still feeling lazy. Today is day 4 back on IP and it is ok, I was very hungry this morning but now I feel OK, it is time for my morning shake. Everyday this week I have packed a extra shake in my lunch bag just in case I got really hungry but I haven't had to use it yet. Tonight I go see my coach and I don't think I have lived up to my end of the deal!? I promised her that I would be either the same weight or lighter when I came back for my weigh in. This morning I weighed in at 184.2lbs, which is -2lbs lighter then last week (after only being on plan for 4 days) but before holidays I was down to 181.4 - I'm still another 2.8lbs away from that!? Oh well, it will come off ... eventually! I am actually kinda surprised that I haven't dropped a huge # like I did the first week I started IP (3 months ago). I guess technically my body has just started ketosis so now it should really burn fat. Maybe next week I will have a better #?

I am giving myself 7 more weeks on IP, by the end of February I WILL be at goal and maybe even a little bit more? I have 15 more pounds to go before goal but my coach wants me to be 5 under so that when I go off plan and gain a few I will end up at goal. So... if I say 20 more pounds that works out to 2.9lbs per week, tough but do able if I focus and have NO cheats at all!! Maybe exercise a bit more now that I am getting closer to goal. All I know for sure is that in the beginning of March we have a trip booked for Mexico and I WILL be happy with my weight!! :)

Finding Nemo - Just Keep Swimming

2010-12-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas!!

2010-12-29T13:13:00.003-07:00

Well, I have officially taken two weeks off from IP and my diet and I can honestly say that going off the diet felt just as crappy as starting it!? For the first few days every time I would take just one bite of sugar I would get an instant headache and if I ate too many carbs my tummy would rumble like crazy. However, now that I have been 'cheating' for two weeks I can eat carbs and sugar again with no after effects (accept maybe weight gain)! I have gained +4.8lbs over the holidays which is exactly what I thought I would gain. And even though I kinda stayed on track with what I was allowing myself to gain I feel like I have gained almost 15lbs! I just feel fat, I can still fit in my clothes and haven't had to resort to putting on my "fat pants" but I feel bigger? I plan on going back on IP tomorrow but I may put it off till next week so I can have one last celebration on New Years Eve. I don't see the point in starting again just to cheat on the weekend!? I have to be committed to IP if I'm going to start again and I need to be committed to loose these last 15ish pounds!! I'm so close and yet I feel so far away!? I feel like my skin hasn't had a chance to tighten up, maybe I need to start working out? Even though I am in pants one size away from my goal I still feel fat and giggly!? Maybe I should drag my Wii out again!?

So .... Christmas was good! We had everyone over at our house and hubby deep fried the turkey. It was our first time deep frying a turkey and I must say, it turned out great!! I made make ahead mashed potatoes and I made the salad the night before (broccoli/ cauliflower) and since hubby did the turkey all I had to do was make the stuffing and put things in the oven at certain times!!! We had one issue of not having enough oil so hubby had to run out and get some last minute but everything seemed to be ready on time and tasted delish!! After supper we cleaned up a bit and the boys took the kids for a walk. MIL and myself grabbed all the gifts that were hidden in the basement and stuck them under the tree. Jacob seemed a little surprised when he walked in the door and immediately wanted to unwrap ALL the gifts! It was a little awkward having so many people there watching Jacob open so many gifts and I did feel a little like we were spoiling him too much. I think next year we might not invite as many or do things a bit different?

Christmas Day we went to the inlaws for supper and didn't do much else. Then Boxing Day we were back at the inlaws for their open house, which is always a good day! By the end of the holidays and hussel and bussel I did have a few tears thinking about all the people that passed this year. It was tough to celebrate without them, I had to keep busy - it was when I slowed down and was by myself that I started thinking too much. Hopefully next year will be a little easier but I never want to forget.

Now what ....

2010-12-16T13:33:00.003-07:00

Last night I had my official weigh in with my coach, she seems nice enough but to be honest I'm not sure I like her as a coach!? I've never had a coach before so I don't have anything to compare her to but she just comes across as being a little fake? I found out just recently that she wasn't even on the program when I signed up, she was on a break? Last night I told her I was going off plan for the week of Christmas and she shuns me and shakes her head, covers her ears and acts all dramatic. I shrug her off, first off ... who is she to tell me that I HAVE to stay on the program when she took a break? And secondly ... what does she really care? This way I am guaranteed to be on the program longer therefore paying her more money for the product?

She has also said some things to me during my time on the program that makes me question just how much she really knows. I mentioned to her before about how I made stuffed peppers that were on a IP site and that the next time I made them I would add the cheese to the meat instead of putting it on top. I was a little surprised when she gasped that I had cheese? I mean it was probably only about a tablespoon, maybe a 1/8 of a cup and it was Low fat cheese?!? It didn't seem to halt my weight loss so I figure... why not!? I don't want to live my life as if it was soooo restricted that I can't even have cheese? Maybe I'm not doing IP completely 100% and yes I have had cheats, yes they have slowed my weight loss but it has been minimal (in my opinion). Technically I am still averaging 3.2lbs per week loss, which is amazing! Anyway... so I'm taking Christmas week off and I plan on enjoying it!!

The only problem I have is that last night after I got home from my weigh in I had a strong desire to binge! It was like by me telling her I was taking the week off I was telling myself that it was OK to go crazy and cheat!? It was like all of a sudden I was starving, it was so odd? Even today I feel like when I have the hunger pains I should just have another snack and it's OK. I think it is because this diet is so easy to drop the weight (when you stick to the program 100%) that it almost gives you the OK to have a bad week cause you know that next week if I stick the program 100% the weight will fall off. I know that if I gain 5lbs over Christmas (which I probably will) all I have to do is follow phase I of the program for a week and that weight will be gone (and maybe more too?). I can see this being a issue if I don't get my thoughts straight, I could end up being a binge eater~with the thought that it's OK to go off track, I'll just loose it next week!? At least I recognize this now and hopefully will be smarter then that!! :s

Week 11 ~ weigh in

2010-12-15T08:48:00.004-07:00

Week 11 ~ Weigh in

-1.8lbs

Well, not the best loss but I suppose if you consider that I was off plan for the week then I did pretty good? We had pizza for supper on Thursday and it was amazing!!! Then I went to my Grandmas for lunch on Sat and didn't have my salad. I think I might have snuck a Christmas cookie in there somewhere too (and got a immediate headache from it). It's so cold out that I have been drinking coffee like it's going out of style but I have also been trying to up my water intake to make up for it so needless to say .... I'm peeing A LOT!! hehe

I have one more week to be on plan and hopefully loose another 2.4lbs to put me under 180!! But after my weigh in next week I plan on going completely off plan, I am not going to go crazy stuffing my face but I will enjoy some of the simple things that I may have been missed if I stuck to plan. Like stuffing and cabbage rolls!! YUM!! Maybe even a slice of pie!! ;)

We are hosting Christmas at our hose this year, we did it last year too but this year there will be more people then I have ever had! I'm a little nervous about it, which is nothing new - I always worry that the turkey won't turn out and all my guests will starve or we will run out of food. This year we are going to try and deep fry the turkey, I know it sound so unhealthy considering I'm suppose to be watching what I eat but we have tried it before and it really isn't that greasy. I just don't have a big enough oven, I also plan on doing a ham, cabbage rolls, mashed potatoes and stuffing (these all need to be in the oven). I am also planning on setting up the basement for dinner and then moving everyone upstairs for when Santa comes. This way we don't have to worry about cleaning up too much of the mess or moving a table, etc. I just need to try and plan the best seating arrangement and maybe move a few things out of our living room to make room for chairs (like the TV and my hope chest). I'm worried that we are going to be bombarded with gifts, not that I'm complaining, just trying to plan where to put everyone and everything!! We are thinking that we will have to pile presents in the front doorway!?!? LOL It should make for some good pictures!! :)

I still have some wrapping to do and I need to pick up a few small things for our extra guests. I just feel bad that they are going to sit there and watch us open piles of gifts so I wanted to get them each something small. I know it probably doesn't matter and that they are probably just happy to be with family on Christmas but I feel it is necessary.

Above is a pic of Jacob, we went to the Festival of Trees where he decorated a gingerbread cookie, got a Santa hat, trimmed a mini tree, went "fishing" and colored a tree ornament. It was fun but I'm not sure I would go again next year. I ended up doing most of the crafts for him and he seemed more interested in the Polish dancers on stage then doing the actual craft? I will post more pics of what we did next time.

Week 10 ~ weigh in

2010-12-08T10:01:00.005-07:00

Week 10 ~ Weigh in

-2.2lbs

It's hard to believe it's been 10 weeks already and that I am so close to goal, although I will probably be set back a bit from Christmas. I am please with IP and my results, it definitely isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I wouldn't say that the diet was "easy" because there are a lot of restrictions but the reward is worth it. NS was definitely a easier diet with way less cravings but it also took about twice the amount of time to get to where I am now, with exercising everyday. I haven't done any real form of exercise since starting, I am just now thinking that maybe I should start to go back to the gym in the new year, just to tighten up the skin a bit and tone up. I am currently 183.2lbs and would really like to be in the 170's before taking my break from this diet and enjoying all the Christmas festivities. That gives me two weeks to loose another 4lbs - totally do able!! My plan is to slowly go off the diet, as if I am already at goal - I don't want to shock my system too much. So starting the week of the 20th I think I will gradually add more healthy carbs, I will make a egg bake that should last all week for breakfast since I don't have much time in the morning to make breakfast, then I can warm it up at work and eat it at my desk. I will add my own protein to my lunch - maybe make a chefs salad instead of just greens or bring some tuna. Supper will remain the same and so will my snack. I don't think this will halter my weight loss too much but it's the treats I plan on having during Christmas and Boxing day that might set me back. My inlaws have a open house on Boxing Day and there is ALWAYS a good spread of different things, healthy stuff and yummy treats!

Above is a pic of the advent calendar I made Jacob, he loves it - unless he gets socks or something other then chocolate! hehe We celebrated St.Nicholas day on Dec 6th, except on the 6th he wasn't a very good boy and wasn't listening at all so we made him wait till he was good, which happened to be the next day. I can tell already that he is going to really be into this Santa thing this year. He really enjoyed the kids Christmas party we had at work, the Moms group Christmas party and his St.Nick gift. I'm excited to see him open all his gifts this year and see the look on his face when Santa comes.

Week 9 ~~ weigh in

2010-12-01T09:30:00.003-07:00

~~ Week 9 ~~

-1.4lbs

Well this week had a little bump, one bad day and it sets you back. Not that I'm not happy with my -1.4lb loss!! I think it's actually a good thing, all things considering!? I could have gained or not lost at all. Sunday was a hard day for me, we had TWO kids Christmas parties to attend, one in the morning at WEM Galaxyland for my brothers company and one in the afternoon for my company. I think I did OK for my lunch and I never ate any of the pizza they were serving the kids. But that night was Grey Cup night and we invited a few people over, hubby made chili and other snack type food and I was starving from not following the plan. I had chili, which I don't think was bad for my diet but it was the little pork bits, spring roll and other puff pastries he made that I snacked on throughout the game.

Jacob did really good at both parties, he went on a airplane ride at the mall for the first time and didn't freak out at all (like I thought he would)!? And after going on the same ride a few times I think he worked his courage up to ride the motorcycles that he seemed a little scared of. At my works Christmas party we went ~~swimming~~ sat in the hot tub and went to the indoor play park they have. Then Santa came and Jacob did very well, he didn't shy away at all! He sat on Santa's lap and took his gift. Hopefully he will do the same when I take him to the mall to see Santa?

Today feels like a 'off' day for me, maybe it was my post yesterday that got me thinking more about those not here. I just feel a little sad today? Maybe it's because I went to transfer the pics from my camera to my stick thingy and lost a few pics in the transfer!??! I hate when I loose pictures, you'll never get those moments back!! :( Jacob gets to open the first day of his advent calendar today and I'm pretty excited about that!! I took a pic of the advent calendar I made but it was one of the pictures that was lost, so I will take another tonight and post it tomorrow.

Getting ready for Christmas

2010-11-30T14:07:00.002-07:00

As Christmas approaches I find myself busier then ever but it is for things that aren't really necessary. For the past few weeks I have been keeping myself busy by making 9 different cookie recipes and making assorted tins for some of my customers at work and co-workers. I assembled and filled a advent calender for Jacob and got Christmas photos done and ordered. I have gone shopping more times then I think I needed too. And I still need to mail my Christmas cards, wrap gifts and get prepared for hosting Christmas dinner. I feel like I am trying to keep busy on purpose, when I do have time to think I usually end up crying.

As I plan Christmas dinner I realize that there are a lot of people that won't be attending this year. And not because they weren't invited or have other plans but because they have passed away and are no longer with us. I will hear Christmas songs on the radio and think about my Dad, my Grandpa, hubbies Grandma, uncle George and Grandmas best friend - FIVE very important people to our family and FIVE people that loved Jacob more then words could say. FIVE people that won't be able to see the look on Jacobs face this year when he gets spoiled by Santa or helps decorate his very own mini Christmas tree. FIVE people that will never share any of these special moments ever again. This is what makes me cry when I have time to think, this is the reason I like to stay busy during this time of year. Our first Christmas without FIVE loved ones. :(

Week 8 ~ weigh in

2010-11-24T10:14:00.004-07:00

Things are ticking along quite well, if you ask me! For week 8 I am down another -3lbs, which is almost 30lbs in just two months!!! I have less then 20lbs left to be at goal and I'm hoping they go by just as fast as the first eight weeks have! I figure another 6-8 weeks and I should be right where I want to be! I plan on taking Christmas off and enjoying the festivities but I might have to slowly introduce sugar and carbs cause I think last time I dove right in it made me sick?

I have been doing some Christmas baking this week and have been successful at NOT sampling the cookies! However if there are any left by Christmas time I might sample a few, just to see if they are worth baking again!? It worries me a bit to do baking or cooking but not sample the food, what if people are just trying to be nice by saying they are good? Maybe I watch too much Hells Kitchen and hear Ramsey yelling at the chefs to always taste their food! LOL

Jacob had his Christmas photos last week and we finally got the proofs sent to us to look over so we can place an order. I'm not 100% happy with them but my hubby says it's cause I'm too picky. Above is one of the poses we did that I liked. I am still waiting for them to do some editing to a couple pics to make my decision on which pose I want to order. Hopefully they send them soon cause I really need to send out my Christmas cards!! The weeks seem to be going by very fast and I'm worried that before I know it Christmas will be here!!! :o

I also need to go through "Santa's workshop" and see what "Santa" has bought for everyone. I'm a little worried that Santa went a little over board this year. It just seemed like there were so many good deals on things that I am certain Jacob would like! Santa's elf needs to get those gifts wrapped and hidden.

Week 7 - weigh in

2010-11-17T10:03:00.002-07:00

Week 7 ~ weigh in

Down another -3.4lbs this week!! :)

Things are going good, I'm not hating salads for lunch everyday as much as I thought I would? And it isn't that much harder to pack a lunch to go to my Dads old house then it was to eat the lunches I was before? I do still have cravings and I think those will always be there but I just have to learn how to deal with them and not let them take over my whole thought process. I still have my hungry days but I also think that is normal and will be a forever thing. I am trying to stick with just the IP shakes and puddings instead of adding some of the "restricted" items that you are allowed. I have tried a few IP recipes, the mashed cauliflower that was suppose to taste like mashed potatoes was not that great but the mock tato salad (like potato salad but with cauliflower) and the stuffed peppers were great!! I also made some mini turkey meat loafs which were excellent!!

I find it odd that I am doing so well on the program and have lost over 25lbs but when I think of myself I still see the 220lb person!? I remember feeling this way last time I lost a bunch of weight but still think its funny how you still relate to yourself as the fat girl even though according to the scale and my BMI ... it really isn't that bad?! I know there will be a day that I wake up, try on a new outfit, look in the mirror and say "Holy sh*t! I'm skinny!? Where did the fat girl go??" That's pretty much what happened last time, then I couldn't stop looking or trying on clothes!! haha I do feel good and when I look at certain parts of my body (like my upper thighs) I can see a difference but I am still in the fat chick mentality.

A new addition to our family!

2010-11-16T13:56:00.002-07:00

The other day I was on Kijiji, looking at free ads and keeping an eye on the ads I placed on there (we are trying to get rid of some of the furniture from my Dads house) and I came across a ad for a FREE Basset Hound. And not that we were really looking for a dog but both me and hubby like basset hounds and know that our old dog is well .... old and days are numbered. So I called him and told him about this ad and asked what he thought. He said, well if its free then maybe we should just go look at it and see how it is with Jacob. She was about an hour away so after supper we headed out to meet her. Her name is Hershey, she is 14 months old, and when we walked into her house, her hair stood on end and she was very much on guard dog duty, at first I didn't think things would go very well but after about five minutes she crawled right up to me and snuggled. We stayed for a bit at her house and she played with Jacob great! We decided to take her home with us! I felt bad for her previous owner who seemed really nice and was giving the dog away because she felt guilty for not spending enough time with her. She seemed like she was going to genuinely miss Hershey.

When we finally got home, it was late and Hershey was very excited as well as Jacob. Hershey was quiet talkative that night wanting to play with our old dog. I was worried that maybe we shouldn't have gotten another dog. But the next day was a little better and the day after that was even better!! She barely barks at all and only gets upset when one of us leave without her. She is already house trained but still asks to be let out around 3am. She knows the commands "sit" and "shake a paw", which is a good start! I do plan on taking her to obedience training after Christmas though. So far, she is a good dog and has fit in good with our family and lifestyle! :)

Week 6 weigh in!

2010-11-10T09:38:00.003-07:00

I'm pretty excited today, I weighed in twice just to make sure it was right! This week I lost another -4lbs!! I didn't think I was doing that well on IP, I mean ... I don't feel like I have restricted myself so much that I am missing out on things. I haven't "cheated" at all with sugar, I passed up on all the little Halloween chocolate bars and I changed from using milk in my coffee to using half and half - which is way lower in sugar but a little higher in fat, but it gives the coffee a creamy taste that I have been missing. I was wondering if it would have an effect on my weight loss but I don't think it has so I will keep using half and half. I have "cheated" a couple times with higher fat foods, I made mashed potatoes but with cauliflower but felt like it was missing something so I added butter to my helping. And having a slice of cheese here and there but I have been pretty good at staying away from sugar (with the help of Splenda) and staying away from bread. I do crave bread still and thought by now that would pass, every morning I crave breakfast - a nice egg sandwich or breakfast burrito, I can't wait to have breaky!! :)

So thing are going pretty good I think ... I am at my half way point, I have finally passed the 10% mark and can't believe that I am almost out of the 190's !! :D I would like to be at 179 by Christmas, which is another 14.2lbs in 6 weeks - which works out to 2.4lbs a week, I think this is very reasonable!! I plan on going off plan during the Christmas holidays just like I did at the retreat. Not too crazy but I will probably enjoy a few high carby things. Then January 1st or so get back on the program to loose my last 10lbs!! :)

The weeks seem to be flying by, I can't believe that Christmas is only about 6 weeks away. I think I am almost done my shopping but I still have to wrap them and set up my tree. We are in the process right now to move the office downstairs and adding a craft table for me. Then we are making the office Jacobs playroom. We have to do it fairly quick though cause we are on a deadline (if we don't so something with his toys we won't have room to host Christmas or put up a tree) so we won't be painting either room for now. There seems like so much to do just to move one room downstairs!? I plan on working on that tonight and Thursday cause I have the 11th off!! Above I posted my graph chart... I like to see how close I am to my goal line and how it is dropping, kinda puts a smile on my face!! Pretty soon I will have to buy new jeans again but this time they will be a much smaller size!!

Week 5 weigh in

2010-11-03T10:05:00.003-06:00

Well, I missed one week of posting my weigh in - not because I had the retreat but just cause life got a little hectic. So for week 5 on IP I am down another 3.4lbs! I'm not too crazy about this number because technically when I got weighed in last week I was down 3lbs so this week is really only 0.4lbs?! I haven't been 100%, ever since hearing about my Dads passing but I haven't been totally off the wagon either?! When I was at the retreat I broke after hearing about Dad and had a handful of nacho chips and one small cookie, that night I was up ALL night sick. So I either caught the stomach flu from my roomie (which she had recently gotten over) or my body did not like the sudden sugar/ carb overload (even though it wasn't a crazy overload). Personally I blame the cookie! LOL But since the retreat weekend I have been having a few "cheats", I had a bite of a mozza stick, one chicken fry (from KFC that Jacob offered me), a little bit of butter on my cauliflower mashed "potatoes" (cause it really needed something), a few handfuls of roasted pumpkin seeds and I have been drinking more coffee and less water. BUT ... I stayed away from all of Jacobs Halloween candy and all other snack type food that is in our cupboard. So I haven't been totally crazy, but I think those little extras are not helping me lose the weight. Now that I am back at work I have been better about staying on track and sticking to the diet. I do still have cravings and I do still feel hungry at times but I think that will pass as soon as I get my body used to the diet again.

I have almost lost 20lbs, which is great! My BMI is so close to 29, which will be nice to be out of the 30's and that much closer to 25 (a healthy #). I am now in Onederland and almost halfway to goal!! I am certain that by Christmas time I WILL be done with dieting and onto the maintaining part! I am hoping to stay on track now that all my festivities are over and next week I will have a better number!! :)

RIP Dad :(

2010-11-02T13:42:00.004-06:00

I know, I haven't posted for a while - things have been kind of a blur for the past week. I went to go see my Dad on Thurs and when I walked in his room I knew he didn't look good. This was the Thursday before I was to go to my weekend retreat. I was torn, I wasn't sure if I should stay or go. Thursday night my brother and I stayed with Dad late, I stayed till 1am and he stayed till 4am! Dad slept the whole time we were there but it still felt like we were with him. Then Friday morning I went back to see how he was doing, hoping that maybe the night before was just a bad day. It wasn't, he was looking worse then the night before and was quickly deteriorating. I went to get my Mom and took her over for a visit, said my goodbyes and gave him kisses on the cheek. I headed to the retreat, crying for most of the way, knowing that I would be getting a phone call that weekend to tell me he had passed. About an hour after I got there my brother called to tell me he was gone. Last week we were busy planning the funeral and last minute details which were very emotional tasks. The funeral was held on Thursday and the place was packed! It was great to see that my Dad was so loved and liked by all his friends, he will be greatly missed by everyone. I still feel like he is here, I don't think I've totally come to closer with him gone, it happened so fast. Even though he was fighting cancer for a year and a half, the last few days were quick. I hope he knew how much I loved him, I think Christmas will be hard this year. We have lost a lot of amazing family and friends since last Christmas, the house will seem empty without them.

We just celebrated Halloween and I really wanted to make it a fun time for Jacob. Even though I was sad and didn't feel like smiling. We had a Halloween party with all his friends from the Moms group. It is nice to see all the kids and to still keep in touch with the Moms, they have all grown so much and are turning into quiet the little characters.

After the Moms group party, Jacob and I went out to St.Albert to trick or treat with his friends. We went to a haunted house which was really neat and Jacob loved! He wasn't scared at all, which is nice. We had a good Halloween and a busy November ahead. Hopefully things will get better now. Tomorrow I will post about my weight loss.

Week 3 on IP

2010-10-20T10:10:00.004-06:00

Well, it's week 3 on IP and I think things are going well. The weeks are definitely going by much faster then the first week (which seemed to drag forever!!). I am now down another -3lbs!! Making a grand total of 15.8lbs in 4 weeks, which averages out to almost 4lbs per week so if I can continue this trend then in only 8 more weeks I will be at goal!!! :D I'm super excited about that!! That means I have already finished 1/3 of my weight loss lifestyle and I am that much closer to my maintenance lifestyle!! I am right on the cusp of being in Onederland, which is also pretty exciting and last night she did my measurements again - I am down about 7 inches, about 2" all over (breast, tummy, bum), so at least I'm not going to look awkward (eg. tiny boobs large butt) LOL

So I have found out that having a cold while trying to stick to the IP diet is hard!! I can feel a cold coming on, my throat is dry and scratchy and normally I would make myself some honey lemon tea (I use lemon juice and honey, add hot water) and this usually does the trick and my sore throat feels better but I can't have honey cause it's pure sugar so the next best is lemon tea with Splenda. I can't have cough drops cause they are sugar candy, can't have cough syrup. I guess I could have some chicken broth but no Lipton soup or orange juice.

The worst part of getting a cold is that this weekend I have a retreat I have been very excited to go to for almost a year now. And now I will probably have the worst of my cold when I'm there? For this weekend I have already planned to go off IP for most of the weekend. I think I will still bring a few shakes and my shaker just in case I get the midnight munchies. I am going to try and stay away from the high carb foods (like if there are buns, toast, or chips) but I will be enjoying the Sunday brunch with other yummy food like eggs and bacon! I think I will also bring some of my salad dressing, in case we have salad one night cause not only do I like my dressing better it is also a better choice then most bottled dressings. I will pack my salt and vitamins and lots of water. I don't want to go too crazy this weekend but I do want to enjoy myself. I will be happy if I don't loose anything or gain either!

hard to think big

2010-10-18T09:22:00.002-06:00

So, I'm on my 3rd week of IP and so far I think it's going OK - I'm not entirely sure I'm in ketosis or not cause I feel like my #'s should be better or maybe it's because I don't have a ton of weight to loose that my #'s aren't as big as I've heard other IP loosers. I have my 3rd weigh in tomorrow but this morning I stepped on the scale to see how my week has been so far and I was surprised that I have only lost just over a pound? And I know in the big picture I have lost over 14lbs in 3 weeks which averages to almost 5lbs a week - which is awesome!! But when I saw the small change in weight this morning it was kinda discouraging? It's just that I feel like I'm going to the extreme but not seeing the results ... until I look at the big picture?! We will see tomorrow night is my official weigh in so I'll post about that on Wed.

I bought a new pair of jeans on the weekend and thought they were a smaller size then I normally wear but when I got home and looked at the tag they are the same size? But they fit different, I feel good in them, but thought forsure after almost 15lbs I should be in a smaller size!?

I have a retreat this weekend too, which I planned to go off plan for - not crazy off plan but if they are serving eggs for breakfast I plan on having some, just not the toast. I am going to try not to think about IP too much but make healthy decisions instead. Then after this weekend I have no more parties, no more temptations until Christmas!! I hope November will be a even better month then this one, but I'll be happy with a average of 3lbs a week. So on my next weigh in (week 4) I don't plan on seeing a big loss and hopefully I don't gain anything!! I'd be happy this week if I was able to just maintain.

2ND Weigh in

2010-10-14T11:28:00.001-06:00

It's a busy day at work today so this post will probably be quick... I had my 2nd weigh in last night and I'm not sure how accurate it is. The reason I say this is because my first weigh in was done in the morning (I was on holidays) and yesterday it was after supper. Soooo ... according to her scale I didn't loose as much as I thought (cause I was full from supper) so this morning I weighed in again just to see and I think I will go with my morning weigh ins (cause I like the number more then the night one!!) I hate weighing in at night after you've eaten all day. According to the scale this morning I am down another -3lbs!!! I am quite excited about this, however I think it's a little odd that on Tues I snuck a peak at the scale and was down -4lbs so in between then and this morning I gained a pound? Not sure why or how, I didn't cheat (in the sense that I had a bun or sandwich), I didn't go crazy with my coffee creamer?! Maybe I just at too much meat and not enough water!?? Or it is just the second week crappy weigh in, like you see on Biggest Loser!?

Well, 12.8lbs is still pretty darn cool and hopefully next week I will break the 200's and enter Onederland!! :) I am down 5.9% so far and almost below 30 bmi, another 10lbs and I will be at my half way point!! These are all pretty exciting milestones and hopefully it won't take too long to get to them!?

Back from holidays

2010-10-12T14:05:00.005-06:00

Well, I'm back at work from my week of holidays and surprisingly it didn't go by too fast as most holidays do. I spent most of my week off at my Dads, packing stuff up and taking pictures of items we want to sell. I have been anxious all week to see how I did on IP!! We had Thanksgiving dinner at my house, I enjoyed this - partially because then I know how things are prepared and also because I don't think my brother would host it!! lol We had 9 adults and 2 kids (including us at my house - which seems really tiny when you get that many people in there). I made turkey, ham, stuffing, scallop potatoes, mixed veggies and I attempted asparagus but decided not to serve it cause it seemed over cooked to me. There were three pies for dessert and I had to keep myself busy in the kitchen so that I didn't tempt myself into having "just one piece". I think I did OK, I did however have one small bite of my stuffing and a small bite of the scallop potatoes - which I am hoping didn't throw me right out of prime weight loss conditions!?!?

I would normally go get weighed in on Tuesday but tonight I have a stamping card workshop (that I'm pretty excited about) so I have to wait till tomorrow to see how my week on holidays on IP went!!?! I snuck a peak though this morning on the scale just to see and I was pleasantly surprised so hopefully it sticks and maybe even more by Wed night!! :) I am happy with IP and although I still have strong cravings for a lot of my old favorites and at times I feel very hungry, I still like the results more then the sacrifice of not having carbs so I will continue and know that someday soon I will be able to have fruit again and maybe even a slice of pizza!! lol

Below are some pics of my family at our Thanksgiving dinner, my Dad is sitting closest to the camera and as you can see his health is quickly deteriorating. He is becoming more weak every time I see him and I think his cheek bones are sticking out farther then I have ever seen them!? It is sad to see him in this state but I am thankful that he was still healthy enough to come over for some turkey!

1st Weigh in ...

2010-10-05T15:03:00.002-06:00

So ... as most of you are probably wondering ... today was my first weigh in and I'm happy to announce that I am down -9.8lbs!! OMG!! That's ridiculously amazing! I was hoping to either be under 210 and into the single digits or loose 10lbs and I obviously did the first one and was sooo close to achieving the second. It's OK though, I'm good with that and now I am back to where I left off on WS!? lol

The program seems to be getting easier, I feel like it is something I can do for a while - not forever but till I'm at my goal and then I can add some other restricted things on. I was worried that I might not loose much cause I didn't have that crappy feeling that everyone told me about, I felt like I was cheating by adding Splenda to my coffee or having a diet Pepsi!? I just want sure how strict you had to be on this diet and I suppose I'm doing ok. I don't expect a large number this week, I am hoping for a 3, but would be pretty happy with anything above a 2!!

Well, I'm on holidays this week ... so I prob won't be posting much. I will try to get back on in a few days. :)

Its a conspiracy!!

2010-10-01T12:37:00.004-06:00

I feel like my co-workers out to sabotage my diet!! Yesterday our driver brings us popcorn sets it right beside me!! And today my co-worker brings a big box of donuts insisting that I have one, and when I refuse he sets the box right behind where I sit so that every time I get up I see them!! :( I finally moved the box of donuts into our lunch room and have almost forgotten they are there!? I was so tempted to just have one... what harm would one do?! But I keep thinking ... just 3 more months and I will be much happier then if I ate that one donut right now!! I jumped on the scale for a little reassurance that I wasn't just doing this for no reason and I am happy with the number I saw on the scale so I guess it is working ... I just have to stay strong and stick to it!!!

I think my biggest craving or habit that I'm having a hard time breaking is stopping for a coffee when I'm out driving and yes you can have coffee on this diet but just not my regular extra large double double!! It isn't the coffee I think I am missing it is the "liquid ass expander" cream that makes the coffee yummy!! :) On Tues and Thurs when I go to visit my parents I would normally stop and get one, it's like when I quit smoking - every time I would have a coffee or get into the car I would crave to light up! It is these habits that I have to stop!

Last night for supper the only veggie I had in my freezer that was kinda on plan was some frozen broccoli in cheese sauce, since Jacob inhaled all my broccoli the night before all I had left were carrots so I checked the label and they didn't seem too bad? I'm not sure which would be worse, carrots or the cheese sauce. Needless to say I have to go shopping and buy more frozen veggies for suppers!

I had the banana pudding for snack last night it was OK ... very bananaee. hehe This weekend will be a test for me as well. We will be camping at the track, where there are lots of greasy fatty things for me to get but I packed my stuff and I am going to stay on track!! I'd be more then happy to see me under 210 and back into the single digits of the 200's. Then by then end of the month hopefully into Onederland!!! :)

Day 3

2010-09-30T13:43:00.004-06:00

They say day three is the worst, I'd have to agree. Last night I was felt more hungry then I did the first day and this morning I woke up with a slight headache. I feel all achy and stiff today (although that might have something to do with cleaning out the flower beds last night). I feel hungrier and just not satisfied. It's not terrible ... yet, but I'm thinking about the things I can't have more today then previous. One of our drivers brought in popcorn (one of my fav snacks) and I passed it on to the other guy that works here. I still feel like I'm not doing well on the program, maybe because I expected to feel worse?! Maybe because I have failed before on different plans? I am following the plan to a T, but not as serious as one of my friends did. I am still having my coffee in the morning but with 1oz of 1% milk and some Splenda (which I'm pretty sure your allowed) but I also have about two cups of tea (with Spenda) through out the day. So I'm hoping that the tea won't slow down my progress? I'm not sure if there is a limit to how much Spenda you can have? It feels almost like a treat, cause of the sweetness, and as I understand you aren't suppose to have any sweets cause your pancrease is suppose to be resting and not worrying about putting insulin out? Or something like that? I didn't have my supper salad again last night and thought if I got hungry later on I would have it as a snack but never did!? Hopefully this doesn't hinder my loss either (although I'm pretty sure all it does is help with BM?)

I have tried a couple different recipe/ concoctions for salad dressing and I think so far my favorite is oil and vinegar with herbs - it almost tastes like Italian dressing!? I have decided that I'm not a big fan of raw broccoli but steamed is awesome. Apparently Jacob likes it too cause he ate almost all my broccoli off my plate last night. I also will not be buying anymore radishes, they aren't what I remember them tasting like!?

Last night I had the chocolate pudding for a snack, it was good - not as good as the chocolate drink. As I ate it I thought it would be even better with a bit of Fat Free Cool Whip but I'm not sure what the stats are on that ... probably unacceptable!? I'll have to check the next time I'm at the grocery store!? This morning I tried the cappuccino drink again but this time I had it how you are suppose to and didn't try mixing it in my coffee!? It was OK, but I don't think I will get it again? Or not as many!! My coach said it was one of the popular ones so I grabbed about 3 of them. So far the chocolate drink was by far the best!! It tasted like a fudgesicle!! hmmm

So ... I snuck a peak ... I had to - I was dying to find out what the scale said and to my surprise it really wasn't that great of a number!? Maybe my expectations are too high? Maybe I went way over board on the weekend after my weigh in and should have re-weighed in on Monday before actually starting IP?? So I'm hoping that now that I'm past the dreaded day 3 my body will be in ketosis and things will just melt off!! :D Wouldn't that be great!!!

Day 2

2010-09-29T11:42:00.002-06:00

Well, this is now day 2 and honestly day one wasn't too bad. I have decided that I don't really like the Walden Farms zero everything salad dressing so today I am going to try my own concoction of a dressing that hopefully is better!? If not I got a few recipes from my girlfriend that sound good! Yesterday I kinda messed up with my first shake of the day and my second shake wasn't much better, I tried the "wild berry yogurt" but there were chunks in it which I wasn't too crazy about. :( Supper was the best meal ever! And the crazy thing was that it was just 5oz of chicken breast and 2 cups of broccoli/ cauliflower, I was suppose to have salad too but couldn't do it. I find that I actually really like the salt we have to eat, which I suppose is a good thing? I think that either the morning vitamins or the shakes make me burp!?!? lol I'm not really one that burps lots so this is kinda a weird thing for me and I notice that I am burping more!? I had the butterscotch pudding for a snack when I got home last night and it also was ok (I think I like the WS butterscotch pudding better).

Today is also going OK, I notice I am a little more on edge or grumpy then normal. I'm not really having too bad of cravings (yet), just when someone mentions things I like (like pizza or pasta) then I think about it more. I don't feel hungry at all really, which is weird. I am trying to 'listen' to my bodies signals more on when I'm actually hungry and not just eating out of habit.

This morning I had my coffee with 1oz skim milk and Splenda, which still isn't the same as my Vanilla creamer - which BTW I am probably missing the most right now! But it was do-able, then I had a chocolate shake which was soooo chocolaty, it was way more chocolaty then the WS ones and really yummy. I just finished my cucumbers with salt and I am going to have salad and veggies for lunch soon. Later I will try the Pina Colada shake.

I feel like I am being successful but I'm so worried that I will go for my weigh in next week and be disappointed with the number!? And although I know that any loss is better then what I was doing before, I really want to see double digits!!! Last night I gave Jacob cream corn for his veggie which happens to be one of my favs and I was soooo tempted to grab a few spoonfuls but I didn't ! And when she said he was all done and still had a chicken finger on his plate I almost popped it in my mouth ... but I didn't!! I am trying hard to be committed cause I want to see the big number!! Hopefully it pays off, I'm excited and worried all at the same time.

Day 1 on IP

2010-09-28T12:13:00.003-06:00

~Day 1~

So, today is day #1 on IP and so far I suppose it's not too bad, last night I went shopping. Bought my olive oil (2 different kinds, one has garlic in it the other is Extra Virgin). I bought a variety of veggies and a new vitamin/ pill organizer to keep track of the vitamins.

When I got home I got busy cooking up my chicken breasts, Jacob helped me rip up my lettuce for salad and I cut all my veggies. I feel like I am well prepared to do well at this diet - now to just follow the plan!!

So this morning I thought it would be a good idea to make the vanilla drink and add it to my coffee (since I usually have vanilla creamer with my coffee). But I soon realized that I only had vanilla pudding so I thought the cappuccino one might be the same. On my way to work I realized I had forgotten my shaker!! I was soo excited to use my new shaker too and almost opted to start tomorrow instead of today and just buy my lunch today. But no .. I stayed strong and figured out a way to still make my shakes without my fancy new ball shaker.

When I got to work I made the cappuccino drink, tried some ... it was good, frothy and tasted like coffee. I added some to my coffee and tried that ... bad idea! Note to self - do not mix cappuccino mix with coffee! It wasn't horrible but it would have been better by itself. I think I will stick to tea since I only need a little Splenda in that.

So far today I had some cucumbers with my salt, they were good. And now I am getting hungry again. All morning I was worried that if I ate my lunch too early that I would be starving later so I keep watching the clock to see when a appropriate lunch time would be. I think now would be good, I "feel" hungry. I have 2 cups of mixed veggies and about 2 cups of lettuce. My only decision now is to add my veggies to the lettuce for a huge salad eat them separately. I also have another shake (chocolate) that I think I will save for later in the afternoon. When I packed my lunch last night I was soo worried that I would be starving all day but honestly it's not too bad ... yet! :)

Tomorrow is going to suck..

2010-09-27T13:56:00.003-06:00

Yup ... tomorrow is going to suck ... but it will totally worth it in a few months!! Tomorrow I start IP, tomorrow I cleanse, tomorrow I start being a looser!! :) I am totally convincing myself that it is going to be just horrible and then maybe it won't be so bad?! right!? Plan for the worst ... hope for the best - that kind of attitude? Tonight I will go shopping for my veggies and oil. I also might want to pick up a small container for my salt so I can make sure I get it all in throughout the day. I was also thinking of getting a pill sorter for the vitamins I need to take 3 times a day, or I might just use the one I have even though its only a one a day sorter. When I get home from shopping I need to pre-cook a bunch of chicken breasts for the week, which reminds me ... I should also buy a better scale, the one I have used to be my Moms when she was on WW about 20 years ago!! :o I will also cut up all my veggies, measure two cups worth and put them in baggies so I can just grab and go in the morning. I am going to try to make the Vanilla shake tomorrow morning at work and add it to my coffee as a creamer/ flavor, hopefully it tastes good ? Otherwise I might have to switch to tea and buy some Splenda, although I wanted to try and stay away from artificial sweeteners. I really want to do good on this plan, I REALLY want to see a big number my first week, like everyone else I know that was on the plan. This is my last hope ... I hope it goes well! :(

A new me

2010-09-24T12:11:00.003-06:00

Well, I'm gunna do it - I'm gunna give it my all!! Last night I had a meeting/ consultation with a Ideal Protein rep close to my house. I already kinda know the gist of the program and I know that everyone that has been on the program has been successful and most important to me right now is that the results were fast! I know ... the best weight loss is slow and steady but I think I am tired of the turtle I have done that method before and yes it did work and yes it probably was easier for me to not fall back to my old methods (although it's hard to say for sure cause I got pregnant and didn't wasn't really trying to maintain). But right now, I need to see the results and I need to see them fast! I just want to get it over with and move on with life. I feel like I know the basics of maintaining, I know the basics of dieting, I just need to get the loosing part done with!! So last night, I wasn't really sure if I was going to but I liked the lady so I signed up!! :)

What does this mean? It means I have prepared myself to be in a little discomfort for the first few days, it means I have said Good-bye to my buddy "Carb" (which means no more fruit, cheese, bread, dairy, etc). It's not a forever thing ... they will come back to me eventually, just not in the quantities they are now!? For the next three(ish) months I will be living off of protein shakes and limited veggies! BUT ... in three(ish) months I will be DONE!! Done with dieting, done with feeling horrible, done with my fat pants! All I have to do is stay strong for three months!

This will be the first time I have gone on a diet and had a "coach", someone to call me and harass me. Someone to get on my case about making the right choices, someone to support me and know tricks to stay on track! I'm not entirely sure I like the idea of her calling me to make sure I haven't cheated and ask how I'm feeling but maybe that is what I need? So - I told her I will be starting Tues! She said she will be calling me Wed to see how I'm doing (which probably won't be a good day).

I hope I can do this ... I hope I can stay strong ... I hope I can stay focused and motivated to keep on track! I will be keeping all of you updated with my progress, my first weigh in will be Oct 5th! I will be hoping for a good number and I know the only way to see the big numbers will be to stay on track!! This weekend I will be saying "good-bye" to a lot of my fat friends (wine, cheese, creamer), Monday night I will do my shopping for the select veggies, I will prepare some meals (pre-cook chicken breasts for suppers so hubby doesn't have to worry about it, pre bag my veggies for lunches, etc) and Tuesday I will start! Hopefully I'm not too much of a battle axe that week!? ;)

Not much new

2010-09-17T10:33:00.002-06:00

Well, not too much has happened ... life tends to go in little spurts of busy/ craziness and then there are times where you do nothing at all, maybe this is like the calm before the storm part!?
So, and update on FIL - his thumb isn't quite as bad as I had thought, I still haven't seen it or him (which is weird, we usually see the inlaws at least once a week). By the sounds of it, he didn't cut the much of his thumb off, it is at an angle so I think he still has about half his nail there (at an angle). But MIL was saying that the longer side of his thumb has turned black so that part will probably have to go. Hopefully that will be all that needs to go, worst case would probably be up to his knuckle right below the nail.
I try to go see my Dad at least twice a week now and every time I go he seems to be getting worse. He told me last week when I was there that his legs aren't working like they used to, which was happening before but now they are much worse. It makes me nervous to watch him walk, even if it's just 10 steps to the bathroom!? His voice is changing too, its getting harder to hear him and the words he says are a little jumbled like someone who is really sleepy. I was there last night and he barely talked at all, maybe his throat is sore!? He doesn't really talk to me about how he feels and his aches and pains. I think he tries to protect me.
I also went to see my Mom last night, she seems to be doing much better. They are letting her go home on weekends now if she wants. But I think she is still a little nervous about being at home with out the help of aids. She will probably be there for another month still.
There is a race this weekend and Jacob has to come out on Saturday and hang out with one of the girls. I kinda like when he is out there cause then after we are done working we can hang out together and sit by the fire. My only worry is that now it is getting cold out and I still need to go buy him some warm winter clothes. But at least we have the trailer there so if it gets too cold we will just go inside and watch movies or play games.
It was my birthday on Tuesday (the 14th), one of my girlfriends was going to a card workshop so I kinda invited myself! It was fun, we made four cards that I think turned out really nice. They are having a Christmas card workshop in Nov that I signed up for, we will make 15 cards and there will be door prizes - sounds like fun and a night out!! They also asked if I would be interested in a monthly workshop, where you commit yourself to going for 10 months (once a month) and you have to buy $20 in product. While you are there you get to make 4 cards and have a nice night out. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this at first cause I probably don't really need more crafty stuff in my house but I liked the idea of a night out once a month. So I signed up!! We start the second Tues in Oct!! :)
On the diet front, there still is no progress, still no decisions. I feel like I keep making excuses, like maybe I should wait till after Oct cause in Oct I have a scrapbook retreat to go to and the race track banquet. And then I think ... well maybe I should wait till the new year then, cause there is Christmas and New Years!? But then I shake my head and think ... there is ALWAYS going to be events, temptations and challenges!?! There really is no "good" time to start a diet and why put it off!? I worry that when my Dad passes I will turn to food for comfort so then I think I should start to learn now how to eat and be healthy then I wont be tempted so much to turn to the "bad" foods!? Hubby is trying to support me, he said I need to do what I did last time and go for walks every night but then I tell him its not that easy cause I can't take Jacob on my walks, he doesn't like it and it makes for a bad time. So that means that hubby has to be home so I can go out but he isn't always home every night!? I feel like I make a lot of excuses and I just need to do it! I am getting very lazy!! :( I need to call and make a appointment with the IP clinic on the south side and learn more, make my decision and DO IT!!!

more bad news ...

2010-09-07T13:50:00.002-06:00

It just doesn't seem to be getting any better... just when I think things have settled down a bit and that I can focus on other things something comes up!? The weekend was good, it was a long weekend and we worked at the track all weekend, long hours but it was OK. Jacob stayed at his Grandparents all weekend and had tons of fun helping Grandpa build a new sun room on the house. Then Monday night we got a call ... my FIL had cut his thumb off, or at least a big part of his thumb!!? All I can really say is Thank God it wasn't when Jacob was there! I would hate to see the mess it caused and I would hate for Jacob to see his Grandpa in that much pain! We still don't really know how bad it is and I'm waiting to hear, I suppose I'll find out tonight but it sure doesn't sound too good!

Tonight is Tuesday and according to my new schedule that I made ... I plan on seeing my Dad tonight, by myself, this way I can have a little bit of conversation with him without getting interrupted by Jacob. It is also the first Tuesday of the month which means it's grocery shopping day and since I didn't go last month I should really go tonight! So ... it looks like I will be going to visit my Dad and then shopping after so it might be a long night!? :(

On the weight loss front ... there really isn't much change. You know it's been a long time when your weigh in ticker tells you you need to update it!!?? So, I really haven't been following the plan and up until recently I haven't been gaining any, just staying around the 205 mark, 2lbs up or down. But this morning I weighed in and maybe it's just water weight from the weekend but I was up 5lbs!? I hate my life!! Dieting SUCKS! and I hate being the size I am, I wish I would have tried harder when I was on mat leave and so much closer to my pre-pregnancy pants then I am now!? I am seriously considering trying the IP diet. I found out that my SIL was on it for 4 months and lost 50lbs! I really need to see those kind of results and I understand that after I get to goal I will probably put on a few just from going back to eating carbs and this will have to be a life time change... a forever thing and it will take A LOT more work for me to stay on it. As I will have to do a lot more prep work, no more counting on hubby to make the things I need for supper. Most things he cooks tend to come out of a box, so I will have to pre make a bunch of chicken breasts and have salad ready to go. We also tend to enjoy the veggies that are more high carb, carrots and corn so I will have to pre make my veggies. It will take more work but if I can see results that fast I think I'm willing to do it! I just have to make sure I AM willing to do it!!

So it seems like Mom is getting better, Dad is adjusting to his new home and we are slowly getting things out of his house. I am thinking of taking a bunch of photos of things to post on our Craig list in hopes to sell or have a garage sale but the weather might not let us do that this year. It is getting awfully cold out really fast!!

A little bit of peace

2010-09-01T10:31:00.002-06:00

So after a busy few days, a funeral on Saturday and another yesterday we can finally relax a bit and have some peace. Although I'm still worried about my Dad and when that time will come but I went to go see him last night and he looked pretty good.

I feel exhausted, mostly mentally exhausted but this morning I woke feeling like I ran a marathon. My legs and hips ache, my eyes feel like I've been awake for 3 days straight and I am generally just feeling kinda blah. I am thankful right now that my hubby is trying to help me around the house and taking care of things but I do notice that the laundry hamper is getting fuller and the dust bunnies are getting bigger?! I have decided to go see my Dad twice a week, which will make it harder to get chores done around the house, since I work all week and weekends at the track, but really the chores will always be there... Dad will not. I also need to find the time to get back to my Dads and help pack more stuff up or hopefully plan a garage sale for October?

It was so sad at Grandmas funeral, Jacob kept wanting to see Great Nanny and was trying to get me to go see her too. The casket was open and apparently she looked really good, but I did not have the guts to go see her. I was worried that I would take one look at her and break down, it took everything I had to not fall apart as it was never mind seeing her!? When they closed the casket for us to take her into the room he looked at me and said "Nanny hiding?" it was cute but at the same time made me tear up (and still does as I type this). During the service he kept telling me that he wanted to see Nanny, I think it will be hard to explain to him that she is gone, she a very special lady in his life.

Overwhelmed

2010-08-27T10:04:00.003-06:00

I went to visit my Dad last night and it was like the reality of this whole situation hit me ... right after the security guard on duty that was helping me find my Dad said he was in "palliative care and that there were no visiting hours I could come and stay as long as I want". It was like the little light in my head went ... Oh... he's in palliative care ... that means he's dying.... wow! I guess before I just thought he was sick and needed some help to look after himself. Then I got a email from my hubbies cousin that went through the exact same thing with her Dad a few months ago and her advice to me was ... spend as much time with him as you can. It's the one thing she regrets. So now I'm thinking she is right ... I NEED to go spend time with him, go play cards, go talk, just hang out together. I talked to hubby last night and he said that I can go there as much as I want, so I will probably go twice a week - once with Jacob and once just by myself. It is hard to have a visit when Jacob is there and he doesn't like to sit in the room for long but I know my Dad wants to see him and makes him smile.

I also went to see my Mom at the Glenrose last night, this is a good thing. She finally got transferred from the hospital to a rehabilitation center, this means the doctor thinks there is hope for her - that she will be able to walk again! She has lost a bunch of weight as well but she looked good last night. Hopefully the doctors can get her back up on her feet and walking again!?
Then we have the two funerals this week, one for hubbies Grandmas best friend and the other for hubbies Grandma. It will be a very sad week for me, as both of these ladies were amazing to Jacob and to us. They helped us out in so many ways, Grandma would give anything for Jacob, she bought him his play set that cost a lot and never questioned the price. If we needed anything she was always there to help. They made us slippers and hubbies favorite black forest cake, when we were sick we got Grandmas soup, which Jacob also loved. Its hard to believe that not only did we loose one but both of them! I can't even go to the other one and ask for recipes or to show me how to knit and make more slippers to continue making them.

I feel like if it's wasn't for Jacob I would be sitting in some corner crying my eyes out! He is a good distraction when I'm sad, I feel like I have to be strong for him. Although last night when I started feeling my eyes fill with tears he came over to me gave me a big hug and a very wet kiss, it made me want to cry even harder. It is so hard to be strong in a time when I feel so weak. :(

Below I wanted to share a little bit of what keeps me smiling these days. I love seeing Jacob have fun with his little friends. Below is a video of him and his day home friends at a bday party, he was having a great time and has no idea of all the sadness going on right now. I'd like to keep it that way!

A sad month

2010-08-25T10:13:00.005-06:00

This past weekend was emotionally exhausting, we found out on Friday morning that my hubbies Grandmas best friend which we always referred to as a 2nd Grandma, had passed away. She was battling lung cancer and went from bad to worse in a very short time and even though it was sort of expected that she was going to pass it still came as a shock as most deaths do. Then on Sunday we got a phone call from my inlaws saying that Gma wasn't doing so well and had coded the night before. We were suppose to work at the track that day but it was soooo foggy that we knew we weren't going to be racing for a while so hubby and I went to go see Gma in the hospital. She didn't look good at all, her oxygen was super low and she didn't even really look like she was awake.

Later that day I Jacob had a birthday party to go to, his day home Moms daughters 3rd bday. So we went and tried to have a good time, Dora came to the party too!! She was a big hit with all the kids. There was a face painter there that did a awesome job, so I grabbed one of her cards - maybe next year I will give her a call for Jacobs party. They had pinatas, one of Dora filled with girl stuff and and one of Diego filled with boy type toys. The kids loved picking up all the candy and toys and putting them in their little baggies (another great idea)!! The Mom made the cake, which I think turned out amazing and tasted pretty darn good too!! It was fun, and I think Jacob enjoyed himself too! Then as I was leaving I checked my phone and saw a message from one of hubbies relatives telling me that Gma had passed!?!? I of course didn't believe her right away, I mean we just saw Gma that morning and yes she did look super sick but her oxygen was going up when we left and I had hope that she would get better. Maybe I was naive, as usual, so of course I call my hubby right away and see if he heard anything and he said yes... he got a call from his parents a few hours prior but didn't call me cause he knew I was at the party.

I still feel like it is all too much to handle all at once, I am very overwhelmed, trying to deal with the loss of a great lady that cared a lot for our family and then not even 3 days later the loss of a Grandma that I know loved Jacob more then words and would give anything to see him smile. The funerals are planned for this weekend and the beginning of next week. I just know I'm going to be emotional about it all. I also know that it probably isn't over yet, my Dad is now transferred to a Extended Living place and I have to clean out his house. The reality of how sick he is getting is starting to sink in as well, I feel like one of these days the reality of being alone is going to hit me. All the ones we love are being taken away, some before they even have a chance to get old.

weekly update ...

2010-08-17T10:19:00.007-06:00

On the weekend I took Jacob to Fort Edmonton park, a old historic park we have here in the city. It starts in the 1800's and goes to the 1920's (I think), it's pretty neat and although Jacob isn't really interested in the history part of things he did enjoy the barn where lots of chickens and turkeys followed us everywhere. They also had pigs and horses that Jacob checked out and pet. We went on the trolley and train ride, both were big hits! Jacob wanted to keep going on the train but after two trips around the park I decided it was time to go. It was a good day, Jacob walked most of the way by himself, pushing the umbrella stroller with his bear in it and when he got tired he sat in the stroller! I didn't have to carry him once which is a huge surprise!? We should have stayed there and had lunch at the old hotel but instead we went to Mc'd's. After lunch we headed to St.Albert to visit my Dad in the hospital, he looked really good, surprisingly - the guy seriously amazes me every time I see him. I don't think I give him enough credit. So after that we headed home to pick up the dog and head to the track to spend the night with hubby.

Sunday morning we had a play date with the Moms group, we went to a lake in the city that was really pretty. All the kiddies seemed to have a good time and it was nice to see the Moms again. Hopefully we will be able to get together again soon. It seems like almost everyone in the Mom group has either already had or is having their second baby. And as much as I would like to try for a little girl I don't think hubby is ready for that step. Plus we have some other issues to work on first. It was a pretty good weekend, I will have to take Jacob back to Fort Edmonton again for more train rides before winter comes.

Oh, and I almost forgot.... I bought a bike trailer/ carrier for Jacob to ride in and we can go for bike rides now. So last night we assembled the trailer and hooked it up to my bike. He loved it, we just went for a quick ride first to see how he was and when we got back to the house he was asking to go again!! So off we went for another trip around the block and when we turned down our road he was screaming to go again! LOL Needless to say I think he likes it, which is great! Now I can get some exercise in and Jacob can enjoy a bike ride. I was a little nervous and scared at first but it all went ok. I still need to get myself a bike helmet and bike lock so we can go shopping and stuff. Maybe tonight I will go shopping, I have to buy 2 bday present too for Jacobs friends.

update

2010-08-12T13:18:00.005-06:00

So - here are a few pics of our camping trip to Alberta Beach, it was a nice trip - the weather was great!! And we got to go on the boat a few times, Jacob didn't care for the life jacket but really liked the boat. Jacob and I spent a lot of time walking around, checking out the sites and playing at the park. I'm looking forward to future camping trips however it would be nice if next time I had a friend and Jacob had a friend to hang out with as well!?

Then last weekend we headed to Peers, AB for a wedding. It was nice, we also camped out there so it felt more like a family reunion then a wedding. This week has flown by as well, on Monday I took Jacob to go see my Dad (cause it's been a while). He seemed OK, he is thinner then ever and told me was falling down more now. He also mentioned that he is depressed and he called Jacob Austin a few times (Austin is my brothers son). Then I find out the next day that my SIL had to call and ambulance for him and he was rushed to the hospital. He is super dehydrated and is now on a list for a hospice, he probably won't be coming home.

I have been on the search for a bike trailer/ carrier for Jacob so that we can go for bike rides together but the idea of me on a bike kinda intimidates me!! I don't think I have been on a bike since I was 16!! My hubby found me a used bike but it is a little advance for me and I'm worried that it is too fancy for a simple bike ride. I found a cheap bike carrier on kijiji (our local craiglist) and went to look at it Tues night, it wasn't very nice - I'm worried if I get a cheap one that the wheel will fall off as I'm towing Jacob or that parts might be missing!? I think I might just go get a new one!? I saw one at Canadian Tire for $250 and it looked OK online, I might go tonight to look/ buy it!! :)

Last night it was just Jacob and I so I took him out for supper to Boston Pizza, I love one of the salads they have there and they are pretty kid friendly. Jacob was pretty good, until he finished his supper and wanted to go NOW!! He had a fit, it was kinda embarrassing, he wanted to go to the park (that I promised we would after supper). So after his freak out I went home instead and told him it was unacceptable to behave like that, he of course freaked out more that we went home and not the park. So I asked if he wanted to still go to the park we would walk there and he had had to be a good boy. He was... he stopped and he was even good walking home too until he made a wrong turn and I tried to point him in the right direction!! Then another tantrum hit .... I suppose it's expected ... he is 2 now! :( I also think it is due to lack of sleep, he has been going to bed later now (usually around 10pm), it's hard to get him to go down earlier cause the sun is shinning and sometimes we are busy out and about.

This weekend I still plan on taking Jacob to Fort Edmonton Park (weather permitting), we will probably do that Saturday and then on Sunday the Moms group wants to have a get together and I will have to go visit my Dad. There is also a festival in the city this week so I would like to try and take Jacob to a few street performers. Circuit de soleil is also in town and I really want to go to it but hubby isn't too crazy about going. I finally convinced him to go with me but after everything that has happened I changed my mind. It's too expensive and I just don't feel up to it, hubby would probably complain the whole time anyway. :(

been busy ...

2010-08-05T11:23:00.002-06:00

Well, I've been busy lately - I decided to not do the cleanse last week cause my boss was buying pizza for us and then on the weekend we were headed camping and I knew I just wouldn't be following the suggested diet while on the cleanse. So ... instead I started yesterday, I haven't given up coffee but I am trying to follow the diet part of it. High protein, low fat, low carb (which is pretty much what I was doing anyway) and so far it is going OK. I don't feel any different yet and the scale hasn't really shown any movement, not sure if it's cause I refuse to give up my morning coffee or not. The scale has been stuck on the same number for a while now, I'm not really sure why - I totally wish it would continue to fall but then I end up self sabotaging it in the evenings and will snack on things I shouldn't or go out for dinner with hubby and make bad choices!? I will soon run out of WS products and haven't planned on placing another order yet (they shipping is ridiculous), I am debating on starting a different plan - I'm not too sure U weight loss is the right plan for me and I'm kinda leaning towards the IP plan (cause I would love to see the quick results but I'm worried it might be too strict and I wont follow it). I'm just not sure what I should do.

So we have been busy with camping on the long weekend and this weekend we have a wedding to go to that is out of town. I really wanted to get a haircut for Jacob and I but I don't think I will have time now. I should probably go see my Mom tonight cause it's been a week since seeing her last and I need to pick stuff up for our weekend away. We work at the track tomorrow night and then leave Sat morning so I wont have time to do anything tomorrow!? My boss is on holidays for 2 weeks and I have been working later then usual making everything else later then normal (supper and bedtime).

Next weekend I have off and I plan on taking Jacob to Fort Edmonton, hopefully it's nice weather or we might have to do something indoors instead (like the museum or WEM). The summer is flying past and I need to get back focused on loosing weight for our trip and get things done around our house! Hopefully the last weekend in Aug we will have a garage sale cause if we don't get it done then, I don't think we will get it done at all and my basement has a big pile of stuff that needs to go!!! :(

Hopefully I can post some pics of our camping trip tomorrow! :)

Cleanse/ Detox

2010-07-29T08:08:00.009-06:00

Well today I started a detox/ cleanse that I thought would be a good idea, however all I can think about is COFFEE!!! I was on Facebook and saw a link on the side for a new weight loss company in the city and thought I would check them out ... see what they were about. So I clicked on the link and their website really didn't say much at all so I see a spot to fill out for a free cleanse/ detox kit and it gets my attention. I have always been interested in doing a cleanse and now that my parents are sick I feel like I need to take care of myself more then before!? So of course they call me and I have to arrange to go in for assesment thing to get the free kit. So I do, and the info they were telling me really did make sense. It seems to be more like a Jenny Craig (cause you have to go in and get weighed ALL the time - they recommend THREE times a week!!!) but it's also like Herbal Magic (cause you have a bunch of vitamin supplements that cost $60 a week) and it's kinda like Weight Watchers (cause you get a recipe book and you have to cook your own meals). So to me it kinda looks like the best of all the diets together and it comes with a very hefty price tag!! She was trying to get me to sign up and told me that I was getting all these discounts (one time special offers) but I know there will always be another deal. The diet did look good to me but I do worry that I wouldn't be able to follow the it and make all the recipes I am suppose to. And technically the price she gave me was very close to what I pay now if you break it down monthly but you had to pay all up front or go on the payment plan!! :o And all the searching I have done on the internet I haven't really found any good things about them!? There is A LOT of bad comments and complaints about them. So I just took my FREE cleanse and told the girl I would first give this a try.

So today is my first day on the cleanse and you aren't suppose to have any coffee, sugars and stick to a low carb, high protein diet - which I was pretty much doing anyway ... except for the coffee thing! It is ALL I can think about today, I feel like I'm not quite right... I NEED that coffee like a addict needs their fix! But I'm trying to stay strong ... I really want to see the TRUE results of this cleanse. So this morning I started at 204.6, they say that on this cleanse you loose up to 8lbs in the 7 days!! So I jsut keep reminding myself that it's only for 7 days and that I need to stay strong !! And hopefully not loose my mind!!

pics and stuff

2010-07-20T12:43:00.007-06:00

Here are a few pics of our trip to the zoo, there is a huge Humpty Dumpty that has been at the zoo for as long as I remember and is always a must to get your picture taken with him!! The kids had fun chasing the bunny in the petting zoo, the elephant is always a highlight and I tried to let Jacob go for a pony ride but he wouldn't hold onto the saddle with two hands so we got a picture and a credit to try again next time!? I love going to the zoo, seeing all the animals and letting Jacob experience different things. Hopefully in two weeks we are going to go to Fort Edmonton park and take him on the big train!! I'm sure he will absolutely love it!!

Not too much is new to update on my parents, I'm pretty sure my Mom has been admitted and finally has a room but I still have to call the hospital and make sure before I head over there to visit tonight. My Dad is still doing fairly well, the nurses want to get him into a hospice but he said no, although it probably won't be long before he goes in. I think I've convinced him to have a garage sale, I think it would be easier to start thinning out his stuff now then after~?! I also went to visit my hubbies Gma in the hospital last night, she looks a bit better - she is having problems breathing so she has to have oxygen. Hopefully everyone will start to get better very soon and we can start enjoying our summer!!

soooo stressed lately!

2010-07-19T13:52:00.005-06:00

Things have been awfully stressful lately, as most of you know the doctors have decided to stop chemo treatments for my Dad so we have all expected things to turn for the worse but as of yet he seems to be good but now we are being more open about the situation and Dad is talking to us about his DNR and where we can find his will. Things that are hard to talk about but I suppose we need to know. Even though I'm almost certain that when the time comes for him I will be a total scatter brain and not be thinking about wills and stuff. So, I'm slightly stressed or more so worried about my Dad and how he will be over the next few weeks/ months. Then hubbies Grandma (whom he is very close to) had a operation for a stomach aneurysm and is having lots of complications cause a bunch of stress on my MIL - as she is the one that seems to take care of everyone. Then on Friday I got a call from my Mom saying she was admitted to the hospital, although she had to spend the four days in the ER cause there were no beds! She hasn't been feeling well for a while and truly is a mystery case for the doctors. They have done tons of tests and still can't figure out what is wrong, last time I was there the nurse said something about kidney failure!?!? It just seems like everyone is getting sick all at the same time and in just a few short months everything will probably change. Although I am surprised of all the people I thought would be sick he is doing the best!?

I posted a video of Jacob with one of his birthday toys that he absolutely loves!! He really likes his trains right now and this was the perfect gift for him!! If our house was a little bigger I would leave it up all the time but it's fairly big. I love hearing Jacob say "Hi, Mommy" - it's just cute.

Jacob and I went to the zoo on the weekend and spent four hours walking around, it was so nice out and the animals were all out having lunch. I took a bunch of pics and will try to post a few tomorrow. It was a great day ... until I got home - then I needed a hot bath and glass of wine to wind down before hubby went out for the evening.

not too much going on...

2010-07-14T13:16:00.003-06:00

So not too much has been happening, I have been working at the track more and Jacob has been at his Grandparents quiet a bit last week. It was so crazy to pick him up after four days of not seeing him, it was like picking up a new kid. I asked what he did at Grandmas all weekend and he actually answered me and most of what he said I understood. They went swimming in the "big" pool, and Grandpa had a hole in his shoe and Jacob fixed it with a hammer!??! LOL Its so funny yo hear him tell you actual stories now, with sentences!!

Last night was kinda a rough night, Jacob woke often and instead of doing what we usually do hubby actually had a little bit of a conversation with him, at three in the morning but still it was kinda cool. Hubby asked what was wrong and of course Jacob didn't answer right away so hubby asked if his blanket was buggin him and he actually said yes!? So we fixed it and walla, Jacob was happy, for a little while - I think he was having bad dreams, now that he is getting older I think his imagination is taking off. I laid with him for a bit and he was good for the rest of the night.

I have been trying to get to the gym but it has been a little harder then normal. When the weather is nice I want to spend it outside and when the weather isn't so nice I don't want to leave the house!!? And now tonight I have plans to go out and tomorrow too so no gym those nights!! I have also noticed that all my "cheats" are catching up to me!! I got on the scale the other day and noticed a gain, a 2lb gain!!! :o So, once again I am going to get back on track, stay focused and be determined to loose more weight!! I have three months to loose another 20ish pounds (or more). Sometimes it's hard to stay on track when your not seeing big results and then you cheat cause you figure what's the point and then you gain and your back at square one!?!? Its exhausting - work so hard for a few pounds and then one bad day and they are all back on again!?!? I am going to start weighing in again on a regular basis and maybe that will help me stay on track!

And the winner is .....

2010-07-07T12:18:00.006-06:00

~FINAL WEIGH IN NUMBERS~

So our little mini challenge we had going on with a few friends and people at work is finally over and the final numbers are in. We started April 1st and went to July 1st to see who could loose the most percentage of body weight. Everyone put $25 into the pot and the winner wins the prize!! So here are the final numbers:

Bryan - start weight=227.8

final weigh in=224.8

total loss=3lbs

1.3%

Amanda - start weight=169.4

final weigh in=168.8

total loss=0.6lbs

0.4%

(technically she dropped out)

Denise - start weight=247.8

final weigh in=237.8

total loss=10lbs

(this is the last weigh in # I know of)

Leanne - start weight=222.8

final weigh in=205.4

total loss=17.4lbs

7.8%

James - start weight=191.8

final weigh in=180.2

total loss=11.6lbs

So as you can see, from all the final numbers that I was given .... looks like I'm the big winner!! But me and James have decided to do a double or nothing mini challenge. We are starting now and finishing around the end of October (Halloween). It will be based on % of weight lost again, so if anyone wants in on this mini challenge they are more then welcome. It is more for fun and just to make sure we stay on the right path, not like last time. When I did this same challenge with the Moms group I did really well and then once the challenge was over I went right back to my old ways and gained it all back. So this time we are going to keep going!!! James and I have the same weight loss goal of 169 and although he will probably beat me to it, it's nice to have someone push you a little to try harder. I'm glad that James is going to continue with me for another 3 months cause already I have found myself being drawn to ~~foods~~ junk that I shouldn't eat (like chocolate bars and chips).

Below are a few pics of our Canada Day celebrations! It was a fun day, we started off with a small parade downtown - the Silly Summer Parade. It is really short (only about a half hour) and really has just about anything in it. One of Jacobs little friends joined us to watch and beside the fact that I got a parking ticket it was over all a pretty good parade! :( After the parade we stopped for lunch, Jacob crashed on the way home and even went back to bed for two more hours once we got home!! Which was good cause we kept him up till midnight to watch the fireworks, which he LOVED!!

2yr check up!! :D

2010-07-02T14:53:00.005-06:00

So, I feel like I have been really busy but then when I go to write about it .... it doesn't sound like much?

I got myself to the gym twice this week!! And I'm feeling it today, my legs are sore and my upper arms from step & tone class. Then last night we walked from our house to the park where our community was celebrating Canada Day, which is about a 20 minute walk. We arrived there quiet early though and needless to say Jacob got bored fast so we ended up walking around a lot! Finally the fireworks went off at 11pm and I think Jacob LOVED them!! I took a few pictures so I will have to post them. It was a really late night for him and I thought for sure he would have slept in this morning but no... he was up at 7am! :(

This week has kinda sucked health wise. We found out on Saturday that hubbies Grandma was sick in the hospital with a stomach aneurysm. Which was apparently much more serious then I had imagined! The doctor was trying to convince her not to have the surgery because she was such a high risk! They even went as far as pretty much asking her if she had a DNR!? It was pretty scary but she said she had to have the surgery so that she could see her Great Grandson grow up. She seems to be doing good now and even though she had two heart attacks while on the table she seems to be recovering good! Then we got news that the doctors are no longer going to be treating my Dad with chemo, they pretty much said that the chemo isn't doing any good and that maybe he can have a few 'good' days before it gets much worse. Hopefully they are right and he can enjoy the last few months, hopefully his appetite will increase and he can do a few more things on that bucket list!

Then on Wednesday Jacob had his 2yr check up!! Everything seems good with him, the doctor was very happy with his progress. He weighed in at 27.3lbs and is 34" tall!! So the wife's tale is ... at the age of 2 you take their height and times it by 2 and that is about how tall your child will be. So for Jacob if this is true he should be 68", which works out to 5 foot 6 inches, on the short side but that is expected. His Dad and Grandpa are both shorter then me so if we are lucky he will get a few extra inches from my blood lines and maybe be as tall as me!? I find it funny though that at 6 months old I think he weighed in at 20ish lbs!! So in a year and a half he only gained 7lbs!? Wowsers!! He was one chucky baby!! LOL

Back from holidays

2010-06-29T12:15:00.003-06:00

So, I'm back at work from my week off - we didn't go anywhere or really do anything for that matter. There was a big race at the track that hubby was in charge of so I planned on helping him get ready for it but that didn't quiet happen. I still took Jacob to his day home on his usual days (Tues-Thurs) but dropped him off late and picked him up early. Then we would go out to the track and walk around. We were kinda limited to where we could go cause kids aren't allowed in certain areas. And since hubby was very busy running the races we were kinda left alone at the trailer, it was kinda boring. It would have been nicer if Jacob had a friend to play with a I had a girlfriend to talk to, maybe next time!!??

Saturday we had our last gymnastics class, it was fun! I really enjoyed gymnastics and I think Jacob did too! Now we just have to decide if I want to register him for fall classes at the same gym he is at now or change to a gym that two of his little friends are registered at. But I will definitely be registering him in fall classes! After gymnastics we headed to my Grandmas lake lot to plant a tree and spread my Grandpas ashes.

Sunday we had a birthday party for one of Jacobs little friends, it was out of town and kinda a long drive but we had fun. Then when we got home I started the 100 loads of laundry from our holidays!!

So, over my week of holidays I must admit I ate horrible, BBQ hamburgers, hot dogs, mini donuts, kettle corn, going out for breakfasts, stopping for Mc'd's or Timmies! I was expecting to see at least a 3lb gain on the scale Monday morning but SURPRISE!!! I actually only gained about 4oz!? So - in the one hand I'm very happy that I didn't gain really anything and I think it was good practice for when I have to do maintenance but in the other hand I'm worried that I will start thinking that it's OK to cheat. I still have about 30lbs I want to loose and I would really like to see it gone by the race tracks banquet in October! Which I think is do able, I just have to buckle down and stop cheating!!

Well, that is about all that is new .... I know it's been a week but I really haven't done much!? I think I need to start getting back into the gym habit, maybe tonight I will start going again? It's just so hard to go when it's so nice out and so hot in the gym!!

Weigh in

2010-06-17T11:16:00.002-06:00

Weigh in = 205.4lbs (-0.6lbs)

Not too bad considering we had Jacobs Birthday party on Saturday (which involved hot dogs and cake) then last night we went to Chucky Cheese (which meant more cake and pizza!). Oh -and on Saturday night we had a fire and I decided to celebrate Jacobs birthday with a bottle or two of wine!! So to see any kind of loss is a blessing!! I placed another order of WS, it seems to be working well - the only thing that I don't like is the shipping charges!? I am hoping to get back on a schedule with the gym but it might be harder then I planned!? I only went to the gym once this week and next week I'm on holidays so I'm not too sure if I will want to go then? I plan on 'camping' out at the track with hubby. We will be super close to the city though and I will take Jacob to his day home still so I could stop at the gym on my way into the city? There is a big race next weekend at the track so I plan on helping hubby get stuff ready for it, cleaning, painting, etc. Hopefully after my holidays I can focus more on going to the gym.

Jacobs 2nd birthday party!

2010-06-15T13:34:00.011-06:00

Well the Birthday party went off OK, except that Jacob wasn't feeling very well. I think it was a combination of teething and lack of sleep? He was just very drained on Saturday, didn't want to much of anything but sit and be held. He hadn't eaten much for 4 days, probably cause his teeth hurt and he apparently didn't sleep well the night before, also probably cause his teeth hurt. So, he didn't really play much with his guests or show much interest in his toys but the next day when he woke up and saw all his new toys he was very excited!! He had a good nights sleep and was acting more himself. I was also surprised that a lot of family had left before gifts were even opened? I thought we were running on time but apparently they were getting tired?

So here are a few pics of Jacobs party:

Above is a pic of all of Jacobs new toys and gifts from all his friends and family! He loves all the new toys - thank you to everyone that reads my blog and was at the party to share in my baby boys 2nd Birthday!! :)

Weigh in

2010-06-10T14:20:00.003-06:00

Weigh in =206.0 (-1.8lbs)

7.5%

Not too shabby, it's getting there - I suppose it is actually a really good number considering last week I hadn't lost at all and then somewhere in between there I gained a couple ounces!? And since I still haven't gone to the gym I guess it paid off to stick to the plan for 2 days straight!! Imagine the possibilities if I stuck to the program 100% everyday!!! :o LOL But I like how I can still have a few small cheats and still loose weight, I don't want to feel deprived of anything and I'm OK with seeing smaller numbers as long as the numbers are still going down!! It will just take me a little longer to get there!

So we started on building the play set and hopefully it will be finished tonight!! I'm so excited I can hardly wait to see Jacobs face when it's done! Speaking of seeing Jacobs excitement I have to remember to charge the battery on my video recorder so that I can record a little of the bday party! I was crunching the numbers last night to see how much food and stuff I have to buy and if everyone shows up that I'm expecting (since no one RSVP'd) there should be about 26 adults and 9 kids!! YIKES!! I think I might just need a ~~drink~~ bottle of wine after this party is over!! ;) Tonight I am going to be running around getting all the last minute things, food, stuff for loot bags and I need to find a train for Jacobs cake!! Tomorrow I have to work at the track (unless it rains - which wouldn't be such a bad thing) so I can't do anything tomorrow which only leaves me Saturday to clean the house!! I feel so rushed, but I think I enjoy being busy - it keeps me on my feet and off my a$$!! he he

we have grass!!! :D

2010-06-09T10:26:00.005-06:00

So after lots of help from family and friends we have "grass" and we can start building the play set!! I'm so excited, I can not wait to see Jacobs face when he sees his new play set! The synthetic grass looks surprisingly real, and it is much softer then I had thought it would feel!? It even has little pieces of brown grass mixed in to look like dead grass. Jacob was a great helper and loved doing everything that Daddy did! We try to encourage him to help us whenever possible, even if it might not be done quite right and Daddy might have to re-do it. Things seem to be running on track, FIL and one of hubbies good friends help organize all the wood and label the bolts so hopefully we can start building tonight and we should be finished by Thursday night!! :) My MIL is also helping quite a bit by taking Jacob Thursday night so that I can go shopping for all the last minute things (food and goody bag stuff). I also need to find time to buy a gift from my Mom and clean my house!!! :o So much to do and as soon as this weekend passes I'm sure life will return to normal!! In the meantime however, I still have not gone to the gym and I'm starting to feel discouraged by the lack of weight loss!! :(

busy life = no workouts

2010-06-08T11:20:00.004-06:00

We had a very busy weekend or rather we have had a busy few weeks! I haven't been to the gym in what feels like forever!? And I think it might be affecting my weight loss, I think I am getting cocky on this diet. I was having cheats and still loosing, I would miss going to the gym and seem to loose more then when I did go and now I think that has all caught up to me!? I got on the scale on Monday to see if my weekend was OK (like I do every Monday) and I was actually surprised to see that I had gained a couple ounces!? I know .... it's just a few ounces but last week I hadn't lost anything and now this week I gain a few ounces? I need to get back on track and stay focused! It's very hard to get a workout in this month we just seem so busy but I need to get back to my gym routine!

This weekend is Jacobs birthday and I still need to go shopping for the give away bags and food for the BBQ! I just realized now that I should also order a cake!! :o Plus we are trying very hard to finish Jacobs play park for the weekend! I called the lawn place today and the lawn is in so I'm very excited!! I was worried that something would happen and the truck would be delayed somewhere and we wouldn't get our lawn till the end of the week leaving us no time to assemble the park! But it looks like we are kinda on track and as long as the park isn't too hard to build it should be up and ready for the kids to play on!! :)

Last weekend after gymnastics we went out to St.Albert and checked out their Children's Festival, it was OK. I think it was a little advanced for Jacob but there was a nice lady that gave us a couple tickets for a show so we were able to go see a show, I think Jacob liked it - it was a music, grooving type show with drums and dancing. We were suppose to go to our company BBQ after but it was getting late so we headed to the track instead. Jacob seemed to like it out there, he did good in the trailer, it was the first time we slept in it and he slept just as good as he does at home! Sunday we had our Moms group bday party, which was more like a picnic in the park. It was nice to see all the Moms and kids again, we stayed for a couple hours then headed home for supper. I took some pictures of the kids playing and will post them as soon as I get them off my camera.

Last night we worked on the yard, even though it was raining! But I think it is worth it and really we have no choice! The yard has to be finished for Jacobs bday party this Saturday! I do not want 9 kids playing in a muddy yard or have everyone in my house~! Hopefully we can lay the lawn tonight and start building the play park tomorrow!!! :D

So hopefully I will go to the gym tonight for a bit, help lay the lawn when I get home and tomorrow I think we are having some friends over to help with build the park. Then Thursday I have to pick up all the last minute things for the party (food and goodie bags) cause Friday we have to work at the track and Saturday morning we have gymnastics!?!?! phew, makes me tired just thinking about all the things we have to get done!! Hopefully I don't forget anything?!? ;)

busy weekend planned ... what else is new!!? :S

2010-06-04T11:44:00.002-06:00

Well first off in regards to my weigh in ... there was no change... no loss .. no gain. I suppose that is OK, but it's odd that on Monday when I weighed in (just to make sure my weekend wasn't a complete loss) I saw a 1lb loss on the scale. I hadn't been to the gym for over a week and had a few cheats? So then I thought I should go to the gym and stick with the program to see a bigger number by weigh in day and so by Wednesday I had gained that one pound back!!? WTH ?!? I'm starting to think that I should stop working out?!!? But I can feel a difference in my tummy, I can feel my 'core' so I think all these push ups and step classes will eventually pay off? Here's to hoping that next week I will see a bigger number!! :)

This weekend seems to be very busy, which I totally do to myself but I thinks it better then just sitting at home. So tonight we have to work at the track and Jacob is having a sleepover at his Grandparents, which means I get to sleep in just a bit tomorrow!! Yah!! Then I pick him up and we have gymnastics which I am loving and I think Jacob is too!! Grandma is going to come with us tomorrow cause she has to take him by herself in a few weeks and wanted to see what we do. So after class and we drop her off I think I am going to head to St.Albert but not to visit my Dad, to go to the Children's Festival they have. It looks super fun and I think Jacob will enjoy it. If we have time I might stop in to visit my Dad but we also have a company BBQ that I wanted to go to and is about a 45 min drive from St.Albert. Then after the BBQ and a visit with co-workers (a.k.a - show off Jacob) we make the long drive to the track and camp out with hubby!! It will be our first camping trip of the year and the first time in our new trailer so I'm hoping it all goes well!!

Sunday, the Moms group is planning a 2nd bday party for the kiddies, it will be more like a small get together in the park but none the less I'm looking forward to seeing all the kiddies and Moms. Then hopefully I will be able to relax a bit Sunday afternoon or we might head back to the track and see how the races are going.

Our yard project is coming along but slowly, technically there really isn't much we can do until the grass gets here. Hopefully hubby will finish laying the road crush/ sand on Monday and build a boarder for the play park either Monday night or Tues. Then we also have to put up a new fence and hopefully the grass will be in on Tues or Wed at the latest. Lay it down and build the play park!?! Then clean up and set up for the party on Saturday. I feel like I should make a list, there is sooooo much to do and I'm praying for good weather cause I think it will really suck to work out in the rain!! ;)

That's about all I have planned for now - hopefully it all falls into place!!? Oh- and the video I posted at the begining of this post was taken just a few days ago, yes - it snowed and it was almost June!? But Jacob loved it and had fun.

Ridiculously busy!

2010-06-02T12:33:00.004-06:00

So we have been extremely busy trying to get the backyard ready for Jacobs 2nd Birthday party, we (Great granny and us) bought him a play set for his birthday and we NEED to get it assembled before his party on the 12th but we had to get rid of a cement pad we had in the middle of our yard and do a little landscaping first before we can assemble his play set. Last weekend we were able to jack hammer the cement pad and hubby hauled it to the dump, we also rented a sod cutter and removed all the sod, a tree stump grinder to get rid of some stumps and then last night we rented a packer and packed/ leveled the area for the play set. Right now it just looks like a big dirt yard but at least it's leveled and ready for road crush!! Yesterday was also grocery shopping day and we decided to take our trailer to the track, after we packed/ leveled the yard and loaded hubbies truck with all the bad dirt. So just after 10pm I headed to the grocery store for our monthly groceries!! I didn't get home till 11:30pm!! Then we packed the trailer with essentials and hubby hauled the trailer to the track and went to dump the dirt there too!! :P Of course I couldn't fall asleep right away and tossed and turned till hubby got home at 2:30am!! So here I am, at work, after only having about 4hrs of sleep! I actually don't fell too bad ... yet! I'm sure it will catch up to me! Tonight we plan on getting a load of road crush and hopefully put some boards down so that next week we can put a new fence up! The bad part of all this is that we really don't have as much time as you think because hubby works weekends at the track and I work out there Friday nights so really we only have 4 days next week to finish this project! And from what I have read online the play set we bought takes about 2 days to build!! Below I posted a pic of Jacob in his "Daddy work pants", he loves to help and actually gets quite mad if we don't let him. Yesterday he helped push the packer around (I got it on video and will post) it was so cute to see him "help Daddy"!

new trailer!

2010-05-31T14:21:00.010-06:00

So last week hubby bought us a travel trailer, without me looking at it!! At first I was a little nervous and super curious to see what he had picked out and I can honestly say that I really like the trailer he picked out!! It is absolutely perfect!! We have our own bedroom with a real door that closes (instead of a curtain like most of the units we looked at had) and it has a bedroom in the back for Jacob to sleep in that has a upper bunk so he can have friends camp over! (we still have to put the bunk in, it's in the storage compartment). The kitchen is nice and big with lots of counter space and storage space. And the bathroom is big enough that I could get dressed in it!! This summer is going to be perfect! We took Jacob in it on the weekend to show him his new "summer house" and all he could say was "big"!! LOL He seems to really like it, we put some toys in it last night and let him play for a bit, get used to the idea that we will be in there lots. I think the tricky part is going to be getting him to sleep in there when there is so much going on outside. And the fact that I can't close the door to his room so that he has no choice but to go to bed!? I think this summer there will be a lot of changes for Jacob and hopefully he can adjust well to all of them!? Below are some pics of the trailer, we plan on going out to the track with it rain or shine this weekend just to get Jacob used to it. In August we have two camping trips planned and I want them to go smoothly so hopefully he will like his new room for weekends!?

weigh in ...

2010-05-27T11:59:00.003-06:00

Weigh in =207.8lbs (-1.8lbs)

Not too bad, I'm actually pretty happy with this loss considering the fact that I haven't been to the gym in over a week, the May long weekend was quite the challenge with a few extra "snacks" and not enough protein, then with the added stress of my Dad being sick... I think I did quite well!! :) It is slowly coming off, which I'm OK with as long as it continues to come off!

So I guess my hubby bought a trailer yesterday, I haven't seen it yet so all I know is that it kinda looks like the one we looked at and liked? It is a 2006, 31ft travel trailer and that is about all I know!? He picks it up today after supper so I will take pics and post them, I'm actually kinda excited to see what he has bought and can't wait to clean it and set it up!! Now we will be able to spend more time together as a family!!

I also guess I might have been wrong about my Dad being in the hospital for a while!? They discharged him this morning!?!? I guess he was able to eat at the hospital and keep it down so they sent him home? I will probably go see him on Saturday and see how he is doing.

Jacob got his 2nd year pics done yesterday, he was pretty good - considering he's not much of a ham. The photographer was able to make him smile a few times and I think the pics turned out pretty good. It was hard though when we were finished to go through all them and pick out the ones I wanted cause Jacob was hungry and kept trying to leave the store!? I posted one below for you to see.

lots on my plate

2010-05-26T12:53:00.003-06:00

So not literally "lots on my plate" but I do have lots on the go right now, we are trying to get the backyard finished and play set assembled in time for Jacobs 2nd birthday party (June 12th) and of course it's not just a matter of putting up a new swing set. We had a large cement pad in the middle of our yard that we had to jackhammer and take to the dump, then there were two large tree stumps that we needed to use a stump grinder on and then we decided to get rid of the grass and put in artificial grass!! Which somehow involved the removal of our fence and now we have to add that to the list! We are actually on track for the yard work part but the artificial grass (that I ordered today) is going to take 8-10 days to get which means it won't even get here till around June 8th - 3 days before the party!!! And we can't really build the play set until the grass is laid cause it goes on top! I pray that the grass will come early and we can get it all done, or else my backyard will be big dirty mess for all the kids to play in!! :(

We are also in the process of purchasing a travel trailer so that Jacob and I can spend more time at the track with hubby but this is becoming a more difficult process then I had hoped!? I feel like we are spending LOTS of money right now when we should be saving or catching up on other bills?! And although I'm almost certain that things will work out in the end, I can't help but worry about it all!?

My Dad just got admitted in the hospital again but I think this time might be for longer then last? I think he is tired, tired of fighting a loosing battle, tired of feeling like crap all the time, tired of living. My SIL thinks that he wants to hear me and my brother tell him that we are 'ok' with him not continuing treatment that that we are will be ok and are ready for what is to come. And although I feel like I am mentally ready to say my good-byes and I think I might be strong enough to handle what is to come I know that will probably not be the case. I will be a babbling fool, it will hit me hard and I will probably not handle it well. Even though it will be an end to his suffering and I've had almost a year to prepare for it - I still don't want to face what will happen.

I haven't been to the gym for over a week and feel like I might have been "bad" on the weekend, I also noticed that my energy level isn't as high as it was when I went more often. But I did plant my flowers yesterday, which I thought was a good workout and gymnastics with Jacob makes me sweat! I got hubby to come to the gymnastics class last Saturday and he took some pictures so I just need to get them off my phone and I can post a few on here!! I am really enjoying the gymnastics class and I feel like Jacob is learning a lot too! He practices his "donkey kicks" at home and "stop hands" I'm actually surprised that he remembers when I ask him to do donkey kicks and he does them. I loves the "popcorn" at the end of class and usually sits there with a huge smile, I will have to try and get video of it.

So that's about all, hopefully things will work out, I'm sure they will, just will they work out in time for everything else!?!?

New Play park!! :D

2010-05-21T12:41:00.005-06:00

We went shopping last night and bought Jacob his new play set, we were trying to decide between two different ones. One was slightly cheaper then the other, but of course the more expensive one looked better built. The cheaper one had the open slide and the more expensive one had a closed in slide that I was unsure if Jacob would like? But the fort on the more expensive one looked amazing and the little stool area looked like it had a better roof over the stools. So what were we to do... I am more of a price shopper, if I can get the same play set or as close to, the more expensive one for less money then that is the way I will lean. But hubby had some good points about the more expensive one and I could tell he was leaning more towards that one, and honestly I liked it better too but the price shopper I am was thinking that we should just get the cheaper one. In the end we went with the more expensive one and I think the biggest reason I agreed to that one is that hubby pointed out that the cheaper one looked like Jacob could fall between the fort and slide but on the closed in slide there was no way he could fall! And for only $100 more we could have a really cool play set!!! So, below are the pics of both play sets we were debating on, hubby picks up the one on top today and hopefully this weekend we will have started putting it together!! :D I would really like to see it completely build by Jacobs bday party as this is our gift to him!!

Weigh in ....

2010-05-20T11:23:00.003-06:00

Weigh in = 209.6lbs (-3.8lbs)

Technically I guess I have been on the WS for 6 weeks and I am now down 13.2lbs (which is an average of 2.2lbs per week) not bad!! :) I am happy to be out of the 10's and closer to Onderland! I am happy that my BMI is down 2 points (even though I don't truly rely on BMI #'s). I am happy that I have lost 5.9% of who I was and I don't even feel like I'm on a diet?! I love how I get to do my own thing at work or during the day (drinking my shakes and having WS meals) but in the evening I get to have whatever my hubby is having for supper (with the exception of starches). Even if he is having fish sticks and cheese sticks I can still have what he is eating along with my veggies! I'm liking WS so far and think I will be sticking with it for a few months longer, I can't wait to be in my pre-pregnancy jeans again!!! :D

So.... we are about 1/2 way through our mini challenge at work here and I thought I would update everyone on how it is going. Now some people in the challenge don't like to weigh in all the time (like Amanda, who has only weighed in once since starting) but others like to weigh in everyday, sometimes twice a day!! (like Bryan) So I can only post from the last time everyone has told me their #'s.

My start weight =222.8, today I am 209.6 = -13.2lbs (5.9%)

Bryan start weight =227.8, last weigh in 220.8 = -7lbs (3.1%)

Denise start weight =247.8, last weigh in 237.8 = -10lbs (4.0%)

Amanda start weight =169.4, last weigh in 168.8 = -0.6lbs (0.4%)

James start weight =191.8lbs, last weigh in 186.4 = -5.4lbs (2.8%)

So far I am in the lead but some people on the list haven't weighed in for a while so maybe they are doing much better then what I think!? The challenge is on till July 1st so hopefully I can continue to loose at least the 2.2lbs per week and stay on top!! ;)

Weekend

2010-05-17T12:27:00.003-06:00

Well, my weekend was busy and fun! I am just loving the gymnastics classes for Jacob, I love to see him enjoy himself and he seems to enjoy all the activities we do. I am also surprised at how much he remembers from the week before, he has only been to one class prior to the one that just past and when asked to do "donkey kicks" he got down and did them, and when I said hand stand he bent over and put his hands on the floor so I could help him. By the end of the class I'm exhausted but I think it is totally worth it! :)

We headed to my Dads after gym class to take him shopping (which seemed to take forever!), then I did a little visiting in St.Albert and headed to the race track to visit hubby. I stopped at BP's so that me and Jacob could have supper, I figured it was better then a fast food choice and it was the first time me and Jacob have gone to a restaurant just the two of us. He was surprisingly good, even though he wasn't in the mood for eating, he didn't really act up and sat and played with his toys for the most part while I enjoyed my chicken salad! :)

Sunday we were busy visiting family again, and then we had a birthday party to attend (one of Jacobs friends). There were lots of kids at this party which made it a little challenging cause Jacob is at the "no mine" stage and every time another kid came close to his balloon he scowled at them and would make it clear that it was his! he he I'm not too sure where he learned to scowl but he does it quiet well!? After the party I was going to take Jacob to the little carnival they have in town but it was starting to get late so we just went to the park for a bit.

So after being off WS for almost a whole week, I am so happy to be back on the program and this morning I snuck a peak at the scale just to make sure I was back on track and I was pleased to see that I had lost a few pounds!! :) The downside how ever to starting back on the program after having a week off is that I have another headache today which I think is from the diet!? Most diets cause me to have a headache for the first day or two so I'm hoping that by tomorrow I will start feeling better!!

This weekend we are planning on doing a bunch of landscaping in the backyard and set up Jacobs swing set. I'm pretty excited, I'm starting to look forward to weekends!! Even though I am still usually by myself on weekends Jacob is much more self sufficient and likes to help me do my chores. We have fun together, which is what I like and hopefully we will be getting a trailer soon so that we can spend more time out at the track where hubby is.

Weigh in

2010-05-13T12:42:00.002-06:00

Weekly weigh in = 213.4lbs (+1lb)

Well, this week wasn't the best week but I suppose it was a lesson learned? I almost ran out of my WS food and only had a few "meals" left which is only good for lunch but I was on my own for breakfast and 3 snacks the rest of the day. I tried to stick to a low fat high protein type diet but I don't think I did very well cause I found that in the evenings I was famished and would often raid the cupboards. This is something I never really felt like doing when I was on plan so I am happy to say that I FINALLY received my WS order (after paying $62 in shipping!!!). I'm glad that I am back on plan and can start loosing again, learn not to give in to my temptations and start feeling better about myself!! I have already placed my next order just to make sure that I don't run out of food again but it seems like the shipping charges are a little ridiculous! When I was on NS the shipping didn't cost half as much and the boxes were twice as big and twice as heavy?

So, I'm still on the fence on whether I should increase my calories or not? I keep thinking about the age old diet advise about how in order to loose weight you need to increase exercise and lower calorie intake. But I think some people loose more weight when they increase their calories. There is one lady on the forum I read that said she increased her calories to 1500 -1700 a day and lost 3.5lbs (more then when she was on a low cal diet) but the thought of increasing my daily calories kinda scares me! I need to find MY ideal calorie intake, the number of cals that keeps me full and I still loose weight!? I'm sure in time I will figure it out! ;)

I took yesterday off work and hubby and I went trailer shopping! It was fun, looking at trailers and I think we found one that we like and would work well for our little family. We filled out the paperwork and are now waiting to see if we get approved! Hopefully everything goes well and we can get our trailer for next weekend!! :)

1st gymnastic class =D

2010-05-11T12:40:00.004-06:00

So we had our very 1st gymnastic class on Saturday, and it was so much work but I had a blast!! It was super fun and I was sweating by the end of the hour long class! At first Jacob was unsure of the new surroundings and people, he didn't really want to do the warm up part but once he saw the other kids having fun he started to loosen up a bit. Then we went to the trampoline (a long narrow trampoline) the instructors placed foam shapes on the trampoline and they were used as "stations" so the first station was a foam triangle shape and Jacob had to climb on top and do a summer salt down, then there was a flat foam shape he had to do a baby cart wheel over, then they placed a ladybug mat where Jacob had to do three donkey kicks, a flat mat he had to fall on his bum then slide down off the trampoline, jump on these dots on the ground that lead to a ladder that he had to climb up and over - then do the whole thing over again. He wasn't too sure the first time but the second time he actually did most of the stations on his own! After that we went back to the main mat area and did another little course but this time on the bars, I think he did pretty good at this one too! Then more trampoline jumping and some parachute time (with the big colorful parachute). By the end I was tired and sweaty, Jacob seemed to be having fun and I thought he would definitely be napping on the way to St.Albert but he didn't!? Instead he crashed after our visit with my Dad and slept the whole way home!

Sunday was Mothers Day so I went to visit my Grandma and Mom, it was a quick visit and then we headed back home. I was kinda expecting that my hubby would come home with flowers for me since the day before I had asked him if I need to pick up my own flowers and he said no, he would get me some. But NO ... he came home with nothing! :( Said the stores were closed so I hung onto the hope that maybe Monday I would come home from work to see that he had bought some beautiful flowers. I rushed home Monday to ... nothing... no card, no flowers not even supper being cooked!? This morning I bugged him saying I looked all over and couldn't find my flowers anywhere, he chuckled as if I was making a joke but really I was on the verge of tears!? I wanted to say Thanks jerk, for making yet another Mothers Day memorable and special!? He has one more day to make up for it... I'm not holding my breath but I am hoping that maybe today I will come home to flowers?! I don't think I ask for much, there are lots of other Moms (wives) out there that ask or get WAY more then flowers for Mothers Day (spa package, etc), heck I probably would have been happy with a hand made card that Jacob scribbled on or a hand stamp of Jacob? :(

This week has also been a little challenging, I have pretty much run out of WS shakes and meals so I have been trying to do it on my own. I don't think I am completely failing at it but I don't think I'm doing that great either?! I got on the scale today and I think I have gained? I also broke down last night and had a few cookies, I was just really hungry and the temptation was ridiculous!! I didn't have those temptations, cravings or the hunger feeling and just wouldn't feel the need to have those cheats when I was on the WS plan. Maybe I had the cookies cause I was upset about not getting my flowers, maybe it was cause I didn't eat enough protein!? I just really hope my order gets here soon cause I think right now I need the guidance of WS to help me get through the cravings and temptations!? Last time I checked my UPS code thing my package was stuck in customs, yesterday it finally cleared customs so hopefully I will see it today or tomorrow at the latest!?

Hopefully the rest of you had a great Mothers Day!! :)

Weigh in ...

2010-05-06T12:52:00.002-06:00

Week 5 weigh in = 212.4lbs (-1.2lbs)

Not too shabby but I know it could have been better! I had a couple "bad" cheats (coffee out with a girlfriend and ordering off the menu when I shouldn't have) and I baked cookies for my hubby Tuesday night which meant sampling a couple too make sure they were cooked!! I can honestly say though that the cookies didn't really taste all that great? I also haven't gone to the gym at all this week (except last night) so considering all that ... I'm happy with a 1.2lb loss!! :) I have now officially lost over 10lbs, which I was hoping to see this week and hopefully next weeks weigh in will have a better number (as long as I stick to plan)!

I however didn't plan on my 2nd shipment taking as long as it is and I am almost out of food!! I only have one shake left and one bar so if I don't get my shipment today then my weekend might not go so well!? I will have to try and take the knowledge I have and hope that I can still loose weight without the shakes? Or go buy a container of protein powder so I can still make shakes? I still have a couple "meals" so that is probably what I will do, and instead of having the protein bars (that are kinda high in calories and carbs) I can have low fat high protein snacks instead (like yogurt and turkey pepperoni).

I'm excited for this weekend and the week to come, this weekend Jacob gets to try gymnastics for the first time and I think he will really enjoy it!! And next week we are going shopping for a trailer! We have the choice of either using one that is already at the track or buying one of our own for a very special discounted price! The only problem with taking one that is already out there is that it will probably be a little small (20ft) and it probably won't have what we want (bunk bed for Jacob) and we wouldn't be able to take it off the property but if we buy our own it will be just what we want (or close to it) but we haven't really saved up for it so it would be another expense. We will probably end up buying one on our own but we might not be able to get one that "I" would like! Not that I want a huge fancy brand new one but I'm the one that is going to be stuck in the trailer when it's raining or not nice out and if you've ever been in a 20ft trailer with a toddler for more then one hour (without having the option of going outside) you know what I'm talking about!! I would like a trailer that is around 24-28ft and preferably one with a bunk for Jacob and a bed for us (so that I don't have to make the bed into a table every morning).

tired today

2010-05-05T15:16:00.006-06:00

I'm awfully tired today, even though I have started taking my multivitamin that is suppose to help that drowsy feeling. I think it's just cause I had a little bit of a rough night, Jacob woke at 3am, then the dog wanted out at 5am and my alarm is set for 6:30am! Yes, Jacob still wakes in the night, usually between 1-3am, usually it's quick and he's back asleep fast but it still sucks to be woken up by someone crying "Mommy". I wish I knew why he is still waking, hubby thinks it's cause he is having bad dreams, I think he is just so used to waking up in the middle of the night that it is a habit now. A habit that I would love to break but hubby doesn't like the idea of "tough love", although it's a little harder to let him "cry it out" now then it was when he was in a crib and only 10 months old (when we probably should have done it). He thinks that eventually Jacob will grow out of it and that we just continue doing what we are doing, I on the other hand am not so sure that this is teaching him anything? I also have a headache today which doesn't help my sleepiness, I just want to curl up and have a nap! :(

I haven't been to the gym all week so I feel a little sluggish from that, and I'm kinda dreading going tonight - just cause it's been so long since I have gone that I am feeling lazy. I have also had a couple cheats that I'm not feeling so great about so I really need to go tonight!! Tomorrow is weigh in day and I would really like to see my ticker at 10lbs total loss (or more!)

busy weekend ....

2010-05-04T11:55:00.002-06:00

My weekend was exceptionally busy, starting with Friday... after work I had to drive out to the race track to work in the tower, it was the first race of the season and it actually went fairly well. Jacob had a sleepover at the inlaws Friday night and Saturday night - it was GREAT!! :D Saturday I went back out to the track to see what needed to be done and help out but couldn't stay long cause we had my Grandpa's memorial that day so I left before lunch to pick up Jacob and Grandma, we stayed at the memorial for a few hours. It was nice, more people then I thought showed up, considering Gpa passed away in Feb I didn't think too many people would see the ad in the paper about the memorial. Then I dropped Jacob back off at Gmas and headed back to the track, Sunday was spent at the track as well but it wasn't as smooth of a day, equipment broke, cars broke, truck hit the wall - there wasn't much racing done. I left early so that I could go to my FIL's bowling banquet, we used to bowl with the same league and it has been awhile since any of them had seen Jacob so I thought it would be nice to show him off. Jacob was good even with supper being an hour late!! :(

And that was pretty much it for my weekend, as for my meals ... it was so hard to stay on track being at the track (lol), I brought more "snack" type foods just incase I got the munchies and I'm glad I did cause if I didn't have the snacks I might have had some concession crap instead!? Friday night we all went out after the race for a social thing, they usually always go out after the race but I rarely go cause I am either too tired or don't want to be tempted to 'snack' when I'm not really hungry. I went ... and shared nachos with a friend .... felt like crap after and vowed to only go out with them once a month or until my willpower kicks in and I can resist the temptation!! :( My eating also sucked at my Gpa's memorial, I had a few bites of brownies and an extra sandwich or two! And then on Sunday I didn't quite stick to my L&G for supper since I was at the banquet but on Monday I weighed in to see how bad it really was and I was so surprised to see that I was down 2lbs?!? So, now I'm wondering if maybe I need to increase my calories or if I should allow a few extra snacks (like low fat yogurt or turkey pepperoni). I might try next week cause this week I won't be going to the gym that much this week so I don't think I need too many more calories. Hopefully the 2lbs stay till my weigh in day or more!! ;)

Last night I went out for coffee with a girlfriend I hadn't seen for awhile and tonight is grocery shopping day, I'm also going to try and fit a haircut in today. I started taking a "good" vitamin today and I'm looking forward to feeling better, not that I was feeling bad before but just feel more complete now. Jacob starts gymnastics this weekend and I'm super excited for him!! I think he will really like it!? That's about all that is new for me ... I'm still waiting for my 2nd order of WS!??! Maybe I should have ordered it sooner?! I'm almost out of bars and shakes? Hopefully it will get her by Thursday or I will have to figure out another protein snack instead of the bars!?

Weigh in

2010-04-29T12:08:00.001-06:00

Weigh in for this week is 213.6lbs = -1.2lbs!

So not a huge number but still going in the right direction so I guess I can't complain!? I wonder though if maybe I need to increase my calories? I just find it funny how I had a high calorie weekend with a few cheats and so I weighed in on Monday to find that I was 213.6 (same as today). But I went to the gym and worked out hard and watched my food intake since Monday but haven't lost anymore then when I had a few cheats? I don't get it? I lost more when I gave myself the extra starch that you are suppose to have on the 1200 cal plan but I stopped eating it cause Fitday said I was well over the 1200 cals if I had a starch as well? Maybe I should put it back in for a week and see if there is any difference?

I placed my 2nd order with Diet Direct and found out that the shipping is crazy expensive!! ($45) for a month supply of WS? It used to be free shipping to Canada but they recently stopped that!? :( Although I am excited to get some new food choices, hopefully this order won't take as long to get here!!

The other day I was doing some blog rolling and thought I would share a couple funny blogs I came across, hopefully you enjoy them as well!! :)

http://makemommygosomethingsomething.wordpress.com/

http://www.mommylingo.blogspot.com/ ***I laughed out loud with this blog!***

http://practicalmum.com/

Weekend parties

2010-04-26T13:09:00.002-06:00

I had a great weekend, surprisingly!? Usually I kinda dread weekends, I like routine so coming to work is kinda a comfort for me (plus it's a easy job so it's almost like a break from home). I find the weekends to be busy running around, usually just me and Jacob, which is hard when he is cranky but this weekend was good! :) I drove all the way to my Dads Friday night to look for old photos, which happened to be at my house (I forgot I took them) so we had a short visit, then on Saturday I went to my Gma's to help make a collage for my Gpa's memorial this Saturday. Later Saturday we had a 80th birthday party to attend and on Sunday I had a One year old birthday party!! Both had LOTS of tempting goodies and I did partake in a few of these goodies. I had a small piece of cake at both events and a handful of chips at both events but I also tried to make sure to have more protein on my plate then carbs, my MIL even made me a veggie burger at the 80th bday which I think helped for my fat intake but all the rest of my snacking lead to a 1500cal day!! :o So on Sunday I paid a little more attention to what I put in my mouth and after logging it on Fitday I had just under 1000cal day, and I think I'd actually add another 200cal on Sunday just for things I might have forgot (like that 1/2 glass of wine!) he he So this morning when I got to work I just had to weigh in and see how "bad" my weekend really was! And I was sooooo surprised to see that I had in fact LOST 1.2lbs!?!? It's not official so we will see if it sticks but I'm seriously amazed that I had lost after all the crap I ate?! :s In a way it's great but on the other hand I'm worried that I might start to think that it's OK to cheat as long as I see results. And although I'm OK with some cheats, like FF creamer in my morning coffee and maybe having an extra cup of salad, I still think that it is best to limit my cheats to only those things. I already know that I'm the type of person that if I allow myself a "cheat day" it turns into a "cheat week" (or longer)! So, it's best to just forget about this weekend, dedicate myself to the program again and no longer "cheat". This weekend will be a huge test for me, a very emotional memorial party for my Grandpa, where there will be lots of yummy treats (mini-sandwiches and sweets), I hope I can hold it together!! :( Hopefully I continue to loose over the next few days, official weigh in day is Thursday!!

thinking about goals ...

2010-04-23T08:11:00.005-06:00

So, I have been thinking about goals lately and the fact that I don't really have any!?! Except for of course fitting into my pre-pregnancy jeans!! But that is a long ways away, and all the other goals that I can think of will happen around the same time.

For example ... my first goal would be to loose 10% of me which is 22.3lbs and would put me at 200.5lbs!! :) Then my next goal would be to be in "Onederland" and weigh 199lbs well that is only 1.5lbs past my 10%!? And the third goal I was thinking of was to loose 1/2 the amount of weight to goal which is 26.9lbs and only 3.1lbs more then being in Onederland!? So all three of my goals will happen within weeks of each other (hopefully)! I could just say every 10 would be a good goal but it seems so boring? I have already said "good-bye" to the 220's and I'm working my way through the 210's, I'm worried that by the time I finish my mini-goals the Big Loser Challenge at work will also be over and I will have nothing to push for? Besides fitting back into my size 9 jeans!!! O - how I miss those size 9's! :( If anyone has any ideas of goals to set after all these other challenges I'd love to hear them, maybe I'd like your suggestions and make them a mini-goal too?!

Friends give-a-way ...

2010-04-22T14:24:00.004-06:00

So a friend of mine is having her first (that I know of) give away, she has been a insiration to me by loosing over 50lbs in just 3 months!! She is on Ideal Protein a diet plan that I think would be too stricked for me but if you stick with it you see great results!!! Anyway ... so she is having a give away that I think is pretty darn cool and I'd like to win you should check her out, her blog is not only very funny but full of motivation and inspiration!! :)

http://www.fatkidmemoirs.com/%20a-fat-kid-giveaway/

Week 2 weigh in!!

2010-04-22T10:47:00.002-06:00

Week 2 weigh in = -1.8lbs

Which makes a grand total of 8lbs, not too shabby!! :) The plan seems fairly easy to follow so far and I find that as long as I stick with it I don't have any hunger pains or cravings, which is nice! Last week I did stray a bit off plan and would have a couple bites of Jacobs meal (pasta or a cookie) and that is when I started feeling the hunger pains again, so I need to focus on staying away from carbs/ sugar and stick with the plan, when hungry grab a tall glass of water and wait. Speaking of water ... I am so thirsty on this plan, which is making it super easy for me to have at least 94oz of water everyday! Last night we had wieners and beans for supper, mine were Fat Free wieners and usually we have toast with them but after I finished my beans and weenies I really didn't want the toast, of course though since it was on my plate I had to have at least a bite ... it didn't taste good and soon after trying a bite I regretted it. Next time I won't even put it on my plate! :) I need to listen to my body more and be more aware of my hunger signals, when I'm really hungry and when to stop eating!!

I can't wait to place my second order, I am excited to try some new products, some that are lower in carbs and are a little more tasty. The lunch entrees that came in my starter kit are not very good and they only supply one snack for night, unless you use your shakes and make pudding with them (which I've done). I have noticed that I am saving a ton of money on fruits, veggies and dairy!! I feel like I never get to have dairy (no yogurt or cheese), I suppose I could if it was low fat cause they are considered a protein but they also have carbs!? And veggies I only get at supper time, fruit I have been having apples and a bag of apples is fairly cheap, plus seems to last a while. I thought that this diet was a lower carb diet but after putting my info into Fitday it seems to me like I am having quite a bit of carbs, even without my extras, and quite a bit of sugar? I wonder how much this effects my weight loss? We will see what next week brings, hopefully a bigger number but if I can loose around 2lbs every week I think I would be happy with that? :)

need vitamin!

2010-04-21T12:33:00.003-06:00

So far things are going well, I think, I weighed in on Monday just to see if I was on the right track and was disappointed to see there was no change. So I stuck to it, stayed 100% for the rest of the day, went to the gym and weighed in again on Tues. It said I had lost some so I was happy to see that, so now I am trying to stay 100%, I eliminated the extra starch that I am allowed and actually feel a bit better? I think I cheated too many times and kicked my body out of fat burning mode, so now that I am back on track I am hoping for a good number on the scale tomorrow!! I decided to try Fitday and see how many calories, fat and protein I was in taking in a day and was very surprised to see how high my calorie intake is!! Just from having mostly liquid meals!? I know that the protein bar I have at lunch and my morning coffee with FF creamer are adding lots of calories but I really enjoy these two things so if I can continue to loose weight and have these I will be very happy!! If I feel that my weight loss is stalling I will eliminate one at a time in hopes that I still see the numbers go down! So if you are curious here is my Fitday, everything I ate yesterday, calories burned and circle graph with it all broke down: http://www.fitday.com/fitness/PublicJournals.html?Owner=Annieann77&Year=2010&Month=3&Day=20

I have noticed though, with only one day entered it seems to me like my carb intake is kinda high and my sugar intake? I would like to cut that back and increase my protein. Fitday has also told me that a few of my essential vitamins are low for daily % so I NEED to start taking a daily vitamin!! I used to take a "one-a-day" from the grocery store and thought that was fine but then my girlfriend told me about these vitamins she is on and the difference between them and grocery store ones, it made sense and I no longer think the grocery store ones are worth it. So, I checked out health food stores just to see what they had and to be quite honest I was overwhelmed by the choices so I decided to just go with the vitamins my girlfriend are on. I already know that they are good, and I have tried them so even though they are way more then grocery store ones I think it is worth it to bite the bullet on this and start taking them!

I feel like my cravings are starting to settle, and when I am tempted with a bite of Jacobs cookie or chip I find that it doesn't taste very good anyway so I don't even bother anymore. I am excited to see what my weigh in is tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a good loss, I'd be happy with 2lbs?! We'll see....

Jacob is 22 months!

2010-04-19T13:06:00.003-06:00

Only 2 more short months till Jacob is 2!!! :o I can't believe it, I look back at his baby pictures and can hardly believe it is the same kid? He has changed so much and as much as I miss the baby he once was I am so happy we are past some of the harder stages. I LOVE that he can talk now and tell me what he wants and although his vocabulary isn't as good as it will be, it is enough that I can usually tell what he wants. He can now jump (finally) and he loves jumping! He can also go up and down stairs without holding on to the wall or someones hand, although he and I still prefer if he did! ;) I am sometimes amazed at the things he does, like chin ups on the bars and he will hang from them. I don't know why this surprises me, but every time I see him pull himself up and so chin ups I feel like doing a little cheer! :) He is now wearing size 3 (sometimes even a 4 - depending on the cut)! We measured him for fun yesterday and he is 34" so, assuming he grows at least another inch by his birthday (he would be 35") and you times that by two ... he should be just over 5'8" when he is an adult, slightly taller then me! He does the funniest things now and I notice he does a lot more imaginary play, where he talks to himself as he plays cars or babbles while in the bath. I took video of him yesterday, he took on a 4 foot bunny rabbit I had for Easter and got stuck between the bunnies legs, he ended up dragging the bunny across the room until he got loose then decided to hide his train in the bunnies sock!?! LOL

As for the diet .... it is going OK, I need to get more strict with myself. I haven't had a big cheat, like gone out for dinner or anything like that but I have had a few bits of Jacobs snack at night or and extra coffee during the day. I think I need to cut out my supper starch and maybe even my breakfast one? I weighed in today just to see if I was on the right track and there has been no change?? I suppose it is good that I haven't gained but the whole point of this diet was to loose!! If I want to maintain I could be eating real food? So, more strict I will be!! :)

1st Weigh in!

2010-04-15T11:55:00.003-06:00

Today was our first weigh in, and I'm happy to announce that I am down 6.2lbs!!! :D And to think I wasn't even really 100%!? Just imagine the possibilities, as soon as I finish some stuff I had bought before my order came like carrots, yogurt and LF cheese sticks - I am going to try and eat less carb type fruit and veggies. Hopefully this will let me see another big loss next week!? So, I think we will just weigh ourselves as we want - Bryan likes to weigh himself almost everyday (sometimes twice a day!) and I am a once a week type weigher (cause I like to see a bigger #), then on July 1st (3 months from now) we will have our final weigh in where everyone will meet so we can see every ones numbers! Maybe make a little party out of it, present the winner with their money - confetti can fall from the ceiling!? ;) I pretty excited though, and I'm hoping to see a another big number next week!! :)

Not much else is new, we went shopping the other night to look at swing sets for Jacob - we found one we like so now I think we should just wait a few weeks to see if it goes on sale. We have FOUR birthday parties to attend in the next three weeks!! Two are turning 1, one is turning 4 and the other is 80!! he he We enrolled Jacob in gymnastics and I'm super excited to start, Jacob is a climbing machine!! We also start race season in a few weeks, which I'm also pretty excited for! Not only does it mean Jacob sleeps over at the Grandparents every Friday night but it also means a steady pay cheque for hubby!! Jacob is also having a sleepover at his Grandparents tonight, Grandma offered to take him so I could get my taxes done (which will probably take a few hours!), hopefully he will sleep good for them. We still have issues with him waking in the night, at least once. I actually bought a soother so that I could try and switch him to that instead of wanting the bottle at 5am! I think it is working, he likes to chew on it and seems to be drinking less milk. It probably isn't the best way to break a habit (by starting a new one) but I really want him to get off the bottle and start sleeping through the night! :( Hopefully soon it will start working?

time for an update...

2010-04-13T14:11:00.005-06:00

Well ... today is my 5th day on WS (Wonderslim) and so far it's going pretty good. The weekend was a little bit of a challenge, we did our usual (visit family, go to St.Albert, etc.) so I found that my water intake was not where it should have been. I was lucky if I had 32oz, it's just hard to drink that much water when you are traveling and at other people houses. Then on Saturday I had packed some snacks for Jacob but he didn't want anything I had packed for him so I went to McDonalds and got him a meal, nothing for me! But I did steal a bite of his cheeseburger and had about 1/3 of his fries. It's hard to say no to him when he offers me food, last night we had fish sticks for supper and Jacob dipped one of his and said "Mommy eat" as he handed me his half dipped fish stick, so I replied "Oh- no sweety, you eat" and he insisted "NO -MOMMY eat!" so I had a bite, I suppose I could have pretended to take a nibble off the end but I figured what the heck it's only one bite of a fish stick and if that is going to stop my weight loss then I guess I was meant to be the fat girl!

Well... I was a little worried about the cheats I had and wanted to wait till I had been on the program for a week before weighing in (just in case I didn't see the results I wanted too) but I couldn't do it... last night at the gym I jumped on their scale and it showed a loss. So this morning my co-worker convinced me to get on our scale here and see what it said and guess what?! It showed a 5lb loss and I still have 2 more days before my official weigh in!!! Yah!

Surprisingly I don't really feel as hungry as I thought I might, I am however very thirsty which I suppose is good cause it helps me get my water in. The Puddings/ shakes are good, nothing fancy and the protein bars are like having a treat! As for the 'meals' ... they are a challenge to eat! Not so good, edible ... but barely! The only one so far that was good was the veggie joe, the 'chicken' meals will not be on my next order! I also got a scale so I could learn how much 5oz of meat is and I am very surprised at how BIG 5oz of meat is!! Plus my 2 cups of veggies for supper, my plate is very full! I so far can say that I like the plan, I think I will continue on it for at least another month. I just have to figure out how to order things separately so I don't get the 'chicken' meals anymore!! :P

Jacobs first pony ride at the Mom Pop and Tot show! He wasn't really too crazy about it, he wouldn't hold on to the saddle so I had to hold him there the whole time. It was fun though!! :)

Day 2

2010-04-09T13:57:00.004-06:00

Well Day 2 and so far not too bad.... which has me a little worried that I'm not doing it right? I followed the plan almost to a "T" yesterday, my only cheats were a couple ~~cups~~ mugs of coffee with creamer but it was low fat and I had a little more then a cup of fruit for my afternoon snack. I think I might have to cut back on my coffee intake, but on a plus note I was able to intake 94oz of water!!! :o I know ... it was crazy ... I peed A LOT!! But I'm trying to do the same thing again today, or at least get my minimum 64oz, so far I've had 42oz for the day and it is only two in the afternoon.

I found that yesterday at 2pm I hit my hunger wall, I was famished but didn't want to eat my afternoon snack too early or I'd be famished at supper time too so I had more water and waited. O - I guess my supper was also kinda a cheat ... I was in a hurry (like I usually am on Thursdays cause there is a class I really enjoy at the gym at it starts earlier then I usually get there) so my hubby picked up subs for supper. I proably should have threw away my bread and just had the chicken breast with a salad but no ... I ate it, only a 6" sub but it still wasn't quite following the plan. Tonight I will do beter!!

I know it has only been one day but I decided to weigh myself, only to find out that I haven't lost a single ounce! It is kinda disapointing, I thought I would at least see a little bit of encouragment from the scale? I think I just need to keep at it ... give it a week and not jump on the scale too much.

I find that I am thinking about my meals ... all the time!? Like this morning I was thinking about when I should have my snack, don't want to have it too early cause then I'll be hungry and have to eat lunch early too and then I might run out of food before I head home making me want to stop for a treat before getting home!? So I wonder ... should I eat only when I'm hungry or should I set up times to eat? If I only eat when I'm hungry then I might miss a few snacks? Will this hinder my weight loss? I also wonder if it's bad to spread my meals out during the day or should I eat everything at once? I like to snack so I hope it won't effect my weight loss if I snack throughout the day!?

Maybe I just think too much!??! :P Hopefully I can relax a bit when I do my official weigh in next Thursday!? Now to just stay off the scale until then!

And now it starts ....

2010-04-08T08:14:00.003-06:00

I finally picked up my parcel last night, I opened it as soon as I put it in my car and was quiet excited to get started!! And although the box is half the size as my usual NS shipment it didn't faze me ... until this morning when I was packing my lunch. I'm so used to packing NS size lunches that when I saw what I had put in my lunch bag now I thought there is no way I can do this!!?? My lunch bag was nearly empty! I think I will take pics just to give you an idea, it really was scary!

So this morning I woke up with a headache - not a good way to start a diet but I figure there is no more excuses! I need to start today, stick it out and see results!! So here is what my morning looks like:

Breakfast = 1 shake/pudding (depending on how you make it), 1 starch and 1 fruit

Morning snack = 1 shake/pudding

Lunch = 1 protein bar, 1 shake/ pudding OR 1 soup, 1 fruit

Afternoon snack = 1 shake/pudding

Supper = 5oz lean meat and 2 cups of veggies

Snack = 1 shake/pudding

So needless to say my lunch bag looked VERY empty but it hasn't been too bad so far!? It is almost lunch time and I had 20oz of water so far (probably pee'd just as many times as ounces I've drank!!). The chocolate shake was good and I just finished a Strawberry one, both were good, nothing to write home about. I had a slice of toast this morning for my starch and a apple, to tell you the truth I kinda freaked out a bit when packing my lunch and threw in a yogurt (just in case)!! he he It seemed very strange to not pack any veggies for my lunch? I suppose I could divide my supper veggies and have one cup for lunch, one for dinner? I might have to do a little adjusting to my menu, so far it seems tolerable? I assume I will feel like crap for the first 3 days, like you do when you start most diets and your body is getting used to not eating everything you used to.

My biggest issue today is my headache! If that was gone I would feel much better! Everything irritates me more when I have a headache. Every time I feel like eating I take a drink of water, my goal for this week is to drink half my weight in ounces everyday!! I am also going to try and not have carbs as my veggie, no carrots, peas or corn!

New weight challenge

2010-04-01T14:15:00.004-06:00

Just a quick post ... been busy at work, boss away.... etc.

So - today our mini-challenge started, $25 in a pot for 3 months and the one with the most % weight loss wins the pot. My official start weight is 222.8lbs! :o Which super sucks cause it makes me realize just how much weight I have gained since having Jacob and having my gallbladder removed! I almost weigh the same as the guy I work with that is also in the mini-challenge. It's kinda embarrassing, but on the plus side - hopefully I can loose it faster then him cause I have more to loose!?? I still however have NOT received my new diet plan yet and I will hopefully get it this week? I am a little concerned about this weekend, I volunteered to host Easter supper which I should be able to not cheat with (since I am the one preparing the meal) but the Easter bunny will also be making an appearance so I will have to try really hard not to taste some of Jacobs treats!! We are also planning on going to the zoo this weekend and doing lots of family visiting!! I will try and keep you posted on my new diet plan, but probably won't post again till next week.

**** HAPPY EASTER !!! :D

Counting down ...

2010-03-26T12:23:00.004-06:00

Well, I finally did it... I made my choice ... I am going to try Wonderslim, and even though we are pretty broke right now and I probably shouldn't have ordered it... I did! Hopefully hubby won't be too mad? I'm going to give it a month of no cheats and working 100% at trying to loose this weight! And if that month goes good then I will place another order! If however that month doesn't get the results I'm hoping for then I think I will try a modified version of Ideal Protein. I have four friends that have are either currently on it or have been on it and the results were amazing! The only reason I am not trying that diet first is because I'm worried that it might be too striked for me to stick too? We will see how the next month goes, I really want to loose this weight and I'm almost willing to try just about anything!? I just need to get past the first few days and detox then I should be fine! Below is a picture of the kit I ordered:

April 1st I am starting a challenge with a guy at work and his girlfriend, we are putting $25 in a pot, giving it 3 months and whoever looses the most % of weight will win the pot!! I'm pretty excited about it and hopefully with the help of Wonderslim I can kick his and his girlfriends butt!! :) Too bad there wasn't more people in on it though, a bigger prize might be more encouraging although I know the real prize will be fitting in my pre-pregnancy pants!!

Not too much else is new ... I'm thinking about enrolling Jacob into gymnastics, his cousins are enrolled right now and I think it would be nice for him to go to the same place they do, then they can get to know each other better and hopefully become closer!? It's up to my SIL though, she was thinking they might do swimming for the summer so if that happens then I will enroll Jacob at a place closer to home. I think he would really enjoy gymnastics and hopefully he is old enough to follow some of the direction the instructors give?

21 Months ...

2010-03-18T12:55:00.003-06:00

WOW - 21 Months old already!! Only 3 more months till my 'baby' turns 2!!! And lately Jacob has been miserable!!! It's so frustrating for me when he is cranky or whinny and I have absolutely no idea why!? I'm sure it's probably from teething or lack of sleep but how do you explain to a 21 month old that it's OK ... things will be OK ... if you just go to sleep!!! :(

So things that are different this month:

-- Jacobs vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds!! Even the ladies at the gym daycare have commented to me that he is more chatty.

-- Most of the things Jacob says are just one word, not too many sentences or word combos except for "I do it" or "I get it". Everything else is still just one word like: up, down, no, more, mine, mommy, daddy, house, help, puppy, woof woof, meow, uh oh, blue, ball, bus, choo choo.

-- He tries to pull his pants up now and he can zip his jacket up (with a little help).

-- He knows most of his body parts and can count to 3.

-- He seems to really like trains, puppies and books right now.

-- His eating is sometimes great and sometimes nothing at all.

-- His sleeping is getting better, there are more nights he sleeps through then before so hopefully soon he wont wake up at all?

-- PJ's with feet seem to be a issue right now ... I think his feet get too hot?

-- He still has the bottle, more then I'd like to admit! But at supper time now he gets milk in a cup and is doing very well with it.

-- He is definitely testing his limits with us (especially me) and will have a fit when I try to help him or make him do something.

This past week was very draining on me, it was like he hated me! Just everything seemed to be a challenge, lots of whining ... lots of crying! This morning he grabbed a banana and we asked if he wanted one, he acted like he did cause when we tried to put it back he had a fit so we sit down open the banana and hand it to him. He in turn runs away screaming! We figure it's cause he wants me to help him so hubby hands me the banana and I try to give it to Jacob he says "no ... mommy" and points to me. So guess what I had for breakfast!? He just wanted me to have the banana, he never wanted one. This is a small example of what my days have been like. I just can't wait till I can ask him and have him tell me that he wants me to have a banana and I can tell him no thank-you ... I really don't want a banana for breakfast!!! :(

It's almost Friday and I'm sad to say that I'm not really looking forward to it! Weekends are hard enough never mind when he is cranky and fussy! I am usually so happy when Monday roles around that I get to go to work. I think it might be a little different if I didn't feel like I had to take Jacob with me everywhere on weekends. Maybe if my hubby would take Jacob with him too where ever he has to go and I could stay home to get stuff done instead of running around visiting family and hauling Jacob in and out of the car, then I would look forward to weekends!? Maybe soon, Jacob will be able to express how he wants to spend the day with Daddy in the garage or if he wants to come with Mommy visiting, then it will be his choice and hopefully he will be happy with his choice? As much as I hate to see him grow up and as much as I miss the baby blob days I can't wait for the day he can calmly tell us what he wants!!

not much....

2010-03-11T14:04:00.002-07:00

Well, not too much to tell .... I just thought I would let you know that I'm still here since it's been awhile since my last post.

I am still going to the gym about 3 times a week and weekends we do all our visiting. It is so nice out lately I feel like I'm getting spring fever but at the same time I'm anxious to look good for the summer. I really need to get on this new diet plan so I can get serious about weight loss, I'd really like to look a little better before race season starts!! Pretty soon I will need to buy new pants, either a bigger size or I need to loose weight so that the ones I have fit better! I sometimes wonder just how much of a role my gallbladder had in weight loss and maybe that is the reason that it seems harder this time. The gallbladder is suppose to break down the fat we ingest and if we don't have one then what? I sometimes wish I never had the surgery, at least then I would be too scared to eat fat. The fear of having a gallstone attack was enough to keep me eating healthy!! I also find now that if I do have a treat and I weigh in the next day totally expecting to see a gain that I am often surprised to see a loss!? Which in turn makes me want to cheat more but then it back fires and I have a huge gain?! I'm really excited for April 1st and starting this mini-challenge with the guy I work with, hopefully by then I will be ready to start my new diet!! Which I'm sure most of you are curious to hear which one I have decided on .... well ... I'm kinda leaning more towards Wonderslim, which is very similar to the Ideal Protein diet that my girlfriend is on and has lost almost 40lbs in 8 weeks!! :o But it doesn't seem as strict and you are allowed a fruit and starch in the morning. I think it would just work better my lifestyle right now. It would be very hard for me to stick to a diet that I had to eat lots of salad on. During the week wouldn't be a problem at all but on the weekends it would be hard, I often eat my lunch in the car, on the go, while Jacob naps. Right now I need a diet that is easy, a grab and go type diet. Then as I get closer to my goal weight I can always re-adjust my diet so that the transition will be easier.

This weekend my hubby and I plan on taking Jacob to the Mom, Pop and Tot fair. I think I might regret my decision later.... it's going to be a mad house, with all the parents and strollers, screaming kids... etc. I'm sure I will be very frustrated and ready for a nap by the time we leave but I am also looking forward to seeing Jacob in the petting zoo and hopefully he will enjoy a pony ride?! I also have never been to one before so I'm curious to see what it's all about? I will make sure to let you know on Monday if it was worth the headache or not!? ;)

My 1st slide show

2010-03-04T11:00:00.003-07:00

One of my girlfriends posted a slide show of her baby on Facebook and I loved it so I thought I would try to make one of my own. I think it turned out pretty good ... what do you think?

I have been overly emotional lately and I think I am like this every year around this time? The radio station I listen to has a telethon every year in March for the Children's Stollery Hospital and as much as I hate listening to the stories and they usually always make me cry I love hearing all the stories. I think this year more then others the stories have touched me more, I can connected now with the parents, I can only imagine what it would be like if Jacob was ever that sick that we had to use the hospital. I am thankful everyday that Jacob is healthy and I know that in the blink of an eye things could change. Some parents were telling stories about how they had a healthy child for 3 years then there was an accident or condition that would appear and now their child was sick. I pray everyday that I never have to experience what that would be like.

MARCH!! WTH??

2010-03-02T11:30:00.004-07:00

So my question is .... WTH happened to February ?? I know it's a short month and all but wow - it seemed to fly by!! Finally I got some new pics to post (yea!!) - above is Jacob listening to my Ipod, he really likes it, we may have to get him his own soon!?

In other news, my weekend was good, busy as usual but not too bad. Friday Jacob had a sleep over at his Grandparents so we got to sleep in on Saturday - it was GREAT!! :D They offered to keep Jacob Saturday while hubby and I went out to my Dads to fix his leaky toilet and have a visit with him but I decided to pick Jacob up and bring him with us, Dad would probably rather see Jacob then us! And I thought I would go visit my girlfriend in St.Albert while out there and my Mom on the way home. But plans didn't quite work out that way, by the time we finished at my Dads he decided he wanted to take us out for lunch it was already after 1pm and Jacob hadn't napped yet. So I knew he would crash after dropping my Dad off, we drove around for a bit and unfortunately my girlfriend also had some running around to do and my Mom didn't answer her phone so we headed home, well actually we headed to Wal Mart to buy some sheets for Jacobs big boy bed!

My Dad had a spare mattress at his house that my nephew used when he had sleepovers at Papa's, he gave it to us which is great cause that saved us from buying a mattress for the upper bunk on Jacobs new bunk bed. Then his mattress that the other Grandparents bought for him was suppose to be delivered on Sunday. I still need to buy one of those safety net things and sheets so off we went shopping! :) We ended up not using the safety net thing and so far Jacob has stayed put and not fallen out of bed! It seemed like more of a hassle then anything so now I have to return it. Sunday his new mattress showed up and so now his room is pretty much done! I figure when he is about 3 we will re-do the room as a theme that he can pick. For now he is pretty excited about his new bed and loves going up the stairs to the upper bunk! I will post pics of it tomorrow.

In regards to weight loss ... what can I say .... not much is going on!? Honestly I'm just not too interested but I'm still trying to not gain. I was so confused when last week I weighed myself and saw a 3lb gain!! I hadn't even cheated... that bad? I honestly didn't understand, so on the weekend I had a bagel for breakfast and lunch with my Dad then on Monday I weighed myself again expecting to see a huge # but instead I had lost those 3lbs!!?? So.... either my scale is messed up or it was just cause TOM is here? So, technically I am back to where I was - no gain ... no loss!? I'm actually really looking forward to the challenge me and a guy at work are having, starting April 1st. I'm hoping that will motivate me and keep me on track, I really would like to kick his butt!! :)

Below are some flowers that were sent to me after my Grandpa passed away. They were all so pretty I had to take a picture and I dried some petals and stems I plan on putting in a vase so I can always remember. I still don't feel like I had closure, since there was no memorial and since he is usually always gone in the winter I still keep thinking that he is down south and will return after Easter!? I'm sure soon reality will set in and it will hurt, getting old sucks! And to think that when I was younger all I wanted to do was be an adult and have my own house and a job!? What was I thinking!?!? :P

Everything I think you need to know

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY

an interesting article...

Another week 1 - Great # !!

Back on plan!!

Need to make a decision...

found a cool website

sick & tired ....

Back from holidays

weigh in ...

~~ Weigh in ~~

~~ Weigh in ~~

~~ Weigh in ~~

~~ Weigh in ~~

Good weekend

weigh in ....

5 weeks ....

Weigh in!

Fat Mii :(

back on track...

Finding Nemo - Just Keep Swimming

Merry Christmas!!

Now what ....

Week 11 ~ weigh in

Week 10 ~ weigh in

Week 9 ~~ weigh in

Getting ready for Christmas

Week 8 ~ weigh in

Week 7 - weigh in

A new addition to our family!

Week 6 weigh in!

Week 5 weigh in

RIP Dad :(

Week 3 on IP

hard to think big

2ND Weigh in

Back from holidays

1st Weigh in ...

Its a conspiracy!!

Day 3

Day 2

Day 1 on IP

Tomorrow is going to suck..

A new me

Not much new

more bad news ...

A little bit of peace

Overwhelmed

A sad month

weekly update ...

update

been busy ...

Cleanse/ Detox

pics and stuff

soooo stressed lately!

not too much going on...

And the winner is .....

2yr check up!! :D

Back from holidays

Weigh in

Jacobs 2nd birthday party!

Weigh in

we have grass!!! :D

busy life = no workouts

busy weekend planned ... what else is new!!? :S

Ridiculously busy!

new trailer!

weigh in ...

lots on my plate

New Play park!! :D

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Weekend

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1st gymnastic class =D

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tired today

busy weekend ....

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Weekend parties

thinking about goals ...

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Weigh in

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