Papa's sick ... :(

Well, I've been putting off posting this for a few days now and I guess I can't ignore it anymore, it's not going away. My Dad has been sick for a little while now (longer then I think he let any of us know about) and he finally went to the doctor (only because his boss pretty much told him to not come back to work until he got himself taken care of). So, he had blood tests and other tests and more tests to come but so far we know that the doctors found a lump and yes, it's cancer. So that has been my crummy week - we now have to figure out what to do for my Dad, because he lives alone and doesn't have anyone to look after him. My brother and I were thinking about letting him stay at our house after his chemo treatments but honestly I'd rather him stay at my house (my brothers house is kinda messy and I'm worried that when my Dads immune system gets low he will catch something at their house). Plus my hubby is home all day so he could keep an eye on my Dad, I still have to talk to my hubby about this but since he has been so busy at the track I haven't had time to even ask him how his day was! I keep thinking that it's not that bad and that there are lots of people that are cancer survivors but then I think of the word "cancer" and think horrible thoughts. It has definitely made me take a close look at my life and want to try harder to be healthy. I need to get healthy not just for me but for Jacob and I need to get a will. These are things I have been saying for a long time but now I think what would happen if it was me sick, is Jacob going to be taken care of (financially and physically)!? I'm no spring chicken anymore and need to think about these things! But the more I think about them the more emotional and upset I get, I deal best by denial! It's like my safety blanket, I try to forget the misery and carry on with daily chores but I know it's not the way you should deal with things. I need to start being a parent, start being an adult, start dealing with reality!