Feb already .... !

January seemed to fly by, I can't believe it is already February and that much closer to spring!! Not too much new happening, Grandpa isn't doing so well - they say that his cancer is progressing really fast and that we should all prepare ourselves (could be a week, could be a month - but probably won't be much longer). Dad is also hanging in, he has surgery tomorrow and then will probably be spending a week in the hospital which would be good for him. I have noticed though that he has become more emotional around me which is really hard, my family was never good at sharing our feelings so to hear my Dad cry on the phone is super hard! I think he is mostly upset because he is loosing his Independence more and more, he had to ask me to help to some laundry for him when I was over there last time (which I totally don't mind at all) but it made him upset - I think because it is something that he should be able to do but can no longer manage to climb stairs with a laundry hamper. He is probably also upset about his Dad being sick and how he is the oldest boy and should be the one to look after his Mom but can't?!

On a more happy note .... Jacob is getting cuter everyday!! He repeats way more words then he used too and although a lot of them don't quite sound right they are close. The other day we were leaving swimming lessons and there was a big diesel truck running that Jacob pointed to so I said - "oh, a big loud diesel" and Jacob repeated diesel but it sounded more like "deezeel" - now we need to be more aware of what we are saying cause next thing I know I will have a little two year old cursing in the back seat!! ;) Our bedtime routine has become fairly smooth, if he's really tired he tells me to sit in his bed with him and I read some books then turn off the lights close the door and he goes to sleep. If he isn't that tired but it after 8:30 I tell him it's bedtime, we collect his puppy and blankie take it to bed, close the door and he goes to sleep. He does still wake usually once a night but lately it has been more like early morning, around 5:30am, and only a few times he has gotten out of bed on his own in the middle of the night and I hear little foot steps in the hallway.

He is also much better with going to the gym daycare and usually doesn't cry at all when I drop him off. I am liking that I can spend an hour to take care of myself and still be able to spend time with him at night. Although I haven't been seeing the results I would like to see from sweating my a$$ off! Tomorrow is weigh in day and I'm hoping to see at least a pound loss but I know I have had a few cheats. I don't' know why I keep thinking that it's OK to have a cheat here and there - it's like I keep thinking that I'm on maintenance or I think that it's OK to eat a cookie or two cause I worked out the night before!? I think I need to start a new plan, one that I haven't been on before so that I give it 100% so that I stop myself from thinking that it's OK to have a treat cause last time I was on this diet (NS) it was OK to have a extra snack, cause last time I made it to goal. So today I cancelled my NS shipments, I am going to finish off the food I have (about a month and a half worth of food), then start a new diet! I will still try and loose as much as I can for this last month on NS but then I need to decide if I want to join my friends on their IP diet (which seems to be working well for them but has a strict no fruit, no dairy, no carb rule) or try a new diet that no one I know is on but you are allowed some fruit, dairy and even a starch for breakfast if you want (Medifast/Wonderslim) from all the info I have read on this diet it looks to be like a high protein, low fat diet that you have shakes, protein bars and buy their soups, similar to NS. I have a month to think about it and if my girlfriends end up doing as good as I think they will then I may try the IP diet, I just hate the thought of no fruit and yogurt cause those are like my treats for the day? But if you see the huge numbers then maybe it's worth it to live without those pleasures? I don't really want to be one of those people that "have tried every diet out there" - I just want the one that works!!