Getting ready for Aug long weekend!

Well, not much is new ... we hired a sitter, it seems to be working out pretty good. It is hubbies cousin's girlfriends son ... did you follow that!? Anyway he is in grade 11 and on summer holidays so it's only temporary, he needs a summer job and hubby really needed to get caught up in the garage!! So he comes over Mon, Tues and Wed from 7:30am till 5:30pm (long day if you ask me but he gets dropped off by his Mom on her way to work) and we agreed to pay him $50 a week. Monday was kinda rough, when I got home from work at 5pm Jacob was still sleeping from his 3pm nap!!! Which was fine, I figured he was just tucked out from a day of playing with the new sitter but when he woke he was so upset!! He wouldn't settle down, he was crying so hard I thought he might get sick!?!? I'm not sure what his problem was, part of me felt that he was telling me he was unhappy with the new situation with no Mom, no Dad or no Grandma!? I went to change his butt when he woke and was seriously pissed off that his butt was filthy from not being wiped properly after having a poo!! So his butt was a little red that night, maybe that is why he was so upset? So when the sitter came over on Tues I made sure to tell him that he didn't clean his butt very well and that I don't care if it takes 20 wipes to clean him but he must make sure that his butt is clean!! Tues was a better day, Jacob wasn't upset when I got home and everything seems to be going well! Hubby is getting caught up on his work and even getting some paperwork done! Everyone seems happier, so far so good!? I'm not sure if we will have to find someone else in Sept when school starts but if that is the case we do have one other person we could try. I guess we will see how much work hubby has by then?

This weekend we are headed to Edson for our annual Slo-Pitch tournament. I'm trying to convince my Dad to come even though it worries me a bit if he comes, the drive is long and I'm worried that too many people will ask too many questions. But it would be nice for him to get out of the house, he probably wouldn't be able to come watch any of the games cause the games might be too long for him but he could hang out with us after. If he doesn't come out then he said he would watch our dog for us (she is old and doesn't do much anymore, she is pretty easy to take care of). Either way we have to go out to St.Albert before heading to Edson, which will make for a very long drive, hopefully Jacob sleeps the whole way!? I have so much to pack for Jacob too, last year we went and Jacob was a month and a half old, I didn't pack enough warm clothes and of course it was very cold!? This year I think I will over pack but I suppose that is better then not having enough warm clothes?

Since I forgot to do a post on Jacob's 13th month I will tell you now of some new things:

-- Jacob now has 8 teeth!!

-- He is trying to run more now instead of walking and loves when you chase him!

-- He also enjoys climbing and will try to climb just about anything

-- He seems to have a no fear attitude which might bite me in the butt when he is older (I can see trips to the ER in our future)

-- His favorite foods are: carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, corn, honeydew, strawberries, bananas, popcorn twists, cheesy's, pasta, corn dogs, and water is his drink of choice.

-- His favorite activities are: knocking over blocks and trying to put them back together, putting lids on things, putting cups together, and he loves the sandbox and wagon/cozy car rides.

-- He now wears size 18-24 month outfits and even some toddler 2 t-shirts, shoes are size 4-5 and diapers are size 4-5.

Crazy video

Hopefully this posts OK, I'm new at trying to post videos. Yesterday when I was searching for pics of the splash park I came across this video and thought it was crazy!! What is your opinion?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0mUPr68x2U

So I just don't get this whole diet thing!? !? Tuesday I follow my diet about 90% (I admit I didn't drink my 8 glasses of water and I had a Popsicle) I went for a long walk and weighed myself Wednesday morning and was very happy to see I lost 2lbs!! YEAH !! But then Wednesday I followed my diet also about 90% (had another Popsicle and wasn't too good with my water intake but didn't think it was a big deal) I went for a short walk cause I had to go shopping for my Dad but then I weighed myself this morning and I gained those 2lbs back!?!? WTF !? Is it just water weight? Does this mean that I have to go for an hour walk everyday just to stay on track? How am I going to get anything done? I've just about had enough of this yo-yo stuff, it's frustrating when all you seem to be good at is gain weight!? My jeans are getting tight and I don't like it!! I really want to be back to my pre-pregnancy self, I feel like I never had much time to enjoy my thin self before getting pregnant and that it was a little tease. I miss being able to walk up to the clearance rack, buy a item and just know that it will look good! I am almost out of ideas and obviously I'm not good at loosing weight on my own, I need a plan!!

Not much

Last night I took Jacob for a wagon ride to the Millwoods splash park, it's about a 20min walk there and usually very refreshing when we get there cause you can feel the mist from the water. But last night we walked there just to find out that the water wasn't running!? Apparently the city shuts it off at 5pm? But I'm sure I've been there later then that before and the water was still spraying? The pic above is NOT the splash park by my house, it is the splash park in St.Albert a much bigger and nicer park but far away from our house. I think I might take Jacob to the St.Albert park this weekend, especially if it's suppose to be in the 30's! Or maybe we will hit the swimming pool, something to keep cool!

I also want to visit my Grandparents and Dad this weekend, next weekend we are headed to Edson for the biggest Slow-pitch tournament in Alberta (that I know of) and I'm trying to convince my Dad that he should come. I think it would be good for him to get away but I also know it will be hard for him to go, the drive alone might be too much (it's a 3 hour drive)? He will also probably be worried about spending the entire weekend in the bathroom and since the whole family is camping in the aunts backyard everyone will notice how often he is in there!? If only he could have his own trailer with a bathroom, then I think he would be more comfortable? A friend of my hubbies owns a trailer RV place and was going to let us use a small trailer for the weekend for free but it doesn't have a bathroom, if we got one with a bathroom then they couldn't sell it as new anymore! I seem to be wishing for a lot of things lately and unfortunately not very many of my wishes will come true! If only .....

Too much to do!

I really miss not being able to post pics on here for everyone but hubby is so incredibly busy that it seems to be taking him forever to transfer my pics over to the laptop, I could upload all the pics from my camera onto the laptop but I don't want to slow it down anymore then it already is. We NEED a new computer, then I can get all the pics off my camera but we have no time to go shopping! Maybe I will go by myself sometime or take my friend up on his offer to build me a new one, either way it would probably take the same amount of time!?

Dog sitting is going OK, yes "hyper-Piper" has settled down quite a bit but Sunday night she made a mess! Of course it was a night where Jacob was having a good sleep there fore letting us have a good sleep but then at 4:30am I heard this quiet whine from the dog so I got up to let her out and while I waited for her to finish outside I noticed that she had already finished in our living room and was probably waking me up to let me know she messed!! If only she would have whined a little earlier or maybe she did but I was having such a good sleep that I just never heard her!? Other then that and the fact that she sheds REALLY bad!! I have to swiffer twice a day and even then there is still hair everywhere!! No wonder my SIL's kitchen chairs looked like they had little knitted booties!!! ;)

I went to visit my Dad on Sunday and boy is he ever thin now!! I hope he gets in to the Cross right away and they can start treating him!! I really would like for him to come over to my place at least for weekends but our basement still needs a few things done, like floor in the spare bedroom and the light switches need to be put in place. There is also a leaky pipe that needs to be fixed before the floor can go down and it would be nice if there was furniture for him to sit on downstairs!! :( But hubby is so busy, he is looking after Jacob during the day which doesn't give him much time to do reno/ repair things and in the evenings when I get home he has to go work in the garage to make money!! Then on weekends we work at the track (thank God or he wouldn't be bringing in any money!) and then another week starts! At this rate I'll be lucky if I can get my Dad over before his treatment is over!? It's stressful for both of us, hubby was pretty stressed yesterday, with "hyper-Piper" acting all crazy and Jacob was having a bad day, I could tell when I got home from work that he was slightly grumpy.

So I've been kinda OK with the diet but obviously not good enough!! I swear I have gained back ALL the weight I lost on the Moms Biggest Loser challenge and I'm seriously pissed about it but what do I tend to do when I'm mad and upset .... yup, I eat and usually not good things. Late night snacking seems to be my weak point in the day. After Jacob goes to bed, hubby is working outside and I sit dreaming of sugar plum fairies! ;) I will have to change my routine and keep myself busy after Jacob is in bed. So it seems like I am stuck in a circle - I'm can't loose the weight cause I snack too much but I snack too much cause I'm depressed that I can't loose the weight!? I have even been going for walks almost everyday and taking Jacob to the park after supper. I just don't know what to do anymore, maybe I need to go on another plan? NS worked but I'm kinda sick of the food, JC is soooo expensive, WW doesn't work for me cause I cheat on it, maybe LA ?

Day 2 with the dogs

Day 2 actually was good - I was surprised at how much I got done yesterday!! Yesterday was a good day!! :)

I got home at 5pm, hubby left to go work at the track and me and Jacob had leftovers! Then I decided to walk to the mall to pick up a few things from the grocery store to make lasagna, it's about a 20min walk there, it was so nice out I was sweating in no time - which actually felt good! I decided to stop at the splash park that is across the street from the mall so that Jacob could play with some kids and have a little fun since he probably stayed inside all day. He didn't really play much, just watched the other kids run around and he would yell at them as if to say "hey, quit running -your gunna get hurt" LOL. Then we headed over to the mall, picked up our groceries and we stopped at Orange Julius for a drink (Jacob really likes them so I bought him his own small strawberry and he drank it all!) then headed home. The clouds looked bad and yes we got rained on coming home but it was refreshing and I tried to make the best of it, Jacob wasn't too crazy about his legs getting wet. When we got home I gave Jacob is bath and he headed to bed right away (it was already 8pm), he must have been tired cause he crashed! Then I got to work and made two small pans of lasagna with homemade sauce, I cooked up some turkey sausage that I like to have as a protein snack, did some dishes, laundry and was even able to catch the end of Big Brother! The dogs were really good, Piper seemed to have settled down a lot and even curled up on the couch for a little down time!! We never let her on the bed last night (although she did try a couple times) and she seemed happy with the dog bed on the floor. Today will be the big test though, hubby left home around 9am and will not be home till early tomorrow morning. I will be stopping at home after work to let the dogs out and then probably wont be home again till midnight so we will see if Piper makes any messes?! I'm actually surprised how good she is, now that she has relaxed a bit. She is awesome with Jacob (probably cause my brother has a little girl that has done everything to that dog) and she doesn't even try to chew on any of Jacobs toys. She gets a little excited when you come home so when hubby got home at 1:00am last night it was a little crazy but she settled down fast.

Busy weekend ahead of me, I'm glad Jacob has a sleepover at the Grandparents tonight cause I really need to clean the bathrooms and it's much easier to do that when Jacob isn't home. Then My Mom is coming for a visit Saturday afternoon, Sunday the Moms group is getting together for a picnic in the park and I'm hoping to get out to my Dads and give him some of the lasagna I made! Busy busy!! :)

Rough night! :(

So last night was our first night dog-sitting and yes .... it was horrible!!! My brother dropped his dog Piper (a.k.a. Retard) off at 7:30 last night which was nice cause Jacob was still awake and the dogs were able to relax a bit before Jacob tried to go to bed. I swear this dog doesn't lay down for longer then 5 minutes and I think she has a.d.d., she kept wanting to play with my old lazy dog and would stare her down and do that spin circle thing that all puppies do but my chubby lazy dog just stared back like she was nuts! It made me realize how small my house is, with a one year old and all his toys, our dog (a Rottweiler) and my brothers dog (a German Shepherd, Rotti, Collie cross - she's bigger then my dog). My house is already a disaster and it's only been one night, Piper sheds like crazy and really needs a bath (which I might try and do). My dog, Roxie, has nipped at Piper a couple times but for the most part they seem to get along fairly well and Piper is so good with kids. But last night Piper wanted to sleep in our bed which is only a Queen size and not big enough for a large dog, she was very persistent and even though we kicked her off four times she kept trying to get back on the bed. I even had a really fluffy dog bed on the floor beside our bed but she didn't want anything to do with that! I gave up and let her sleep on the bed but only because if she wasn't on the bed she was pacing the house and I was worried she was getting into something or peeing on our rugs? So I slept with my legs hanging off the bed and was very uncomfortable, Jacob woke up three times last night (12:30, 2:00am and 6:00am)!! At 4am my hubby woke up to a horrible smell and had to turn on the lights to see if the dog poo'd in our room it stunk so bad but there was nothing .... just gas! She is so stinky, she almost made us leave the room and then she would have had the bed to herself!! Hopefully tonight is better, I think I am on my own cause hubby has to go to the track tonight so hopefully I can handle it!? O - and this morning I think I found a wet spot on my rug!! Thankfully it is a throw rug that I can easily put in the wash but I know it wasn't my dog so I gave Piper crap and hopefully she won't be doing that again!!!

Needless to say I'm very tired today, Jacob was suppose to go to his Grandmas today so hubby could get some work done but she cancelled cause her brother is sick. It's hard for hubby to get work done with me back at work, if he looks after Jacob during the day then he will go to work after supper but that only gives him about 3 hours so just when he starts getting into a rhythm he has to stop. I think we might have to find a non-family member sitter for part time but I have no idea where to look and how do you know if they will be any good? I don't even know what the going rate is for a sitter? Maybe I will search Facebook and go through my "friend" list?

Dog Sitting ! :(

Today is the beginning of dog sitting, hopefully everything goes well!? My only concern really is Friday, hubby will be leaving to work the track early morning and I will only stop in after work to let the dogs out to pee then I'm off to the track as well and won't be home till midnight. Hopefully my brothers dog (Piper) doesn't destroy the house and all of Jacobs toys!?

I think I have High Estrogen!? ? I read an article in a magazine my Mom gave me and then decided to look into it more and Googled it - I have a lot of the symptoms, such as:


Symptoms of Estrogen Overload
-PMS -- yup
-Migraines -- check
-Mood Swings -- more now then before
-Cramps -- yup
-Uterine Fibroids -- don't know?
-Depression -- yeah, a little but is it just because of the symptom listed below
-Unexplained Weight Gain -- I keep trying to loose it but it ain't going anywhere!?
-Fatigue -- yes
-Osteoporosis -- don't know!?
-Insomnia -- a little, I lay awake even though I am very tired, takes forever to fall asleep
-Allergies -- don't think so
-Memory Loss -- just ask my hubby~!
-Acne -- I feel like I'm going through puberty again!?
-Hot Flashes -- no I don't think so
-Thinning Hair -- Yes! I know you hair falls out after you have a kid but mine is still coming out!?
-Irregular Periods -- Not really irregular but they have changed since having a baby
-Breast Tenderness -- a little
-Miscarriage -- No!
-Low Sex Drive -- just ask the hubby!! ;)
-High Blood Pressure -- I don't think so but haven't had it checked
-Facial Hair Inflammation -- not really sure what this means but I do have an issue with facial hair.

So I look at this list and think holy crap I have a lot of these symptoms but then I look at the list a little more and think that these are all just regular womanly symptoms of what we all go through! ? Maybe it's just part of life and me getting older? I'm all paranoid now that my Dad is sick and my Mom really isn't in the best health condition either. Plus I think I am borderline hypocondriact (sp?) so sometimes I hear things on the radio like "if you experience, frequent urination, gas and bloating you could have ovarian cancer and you need to get checked!" then I think WOW - I do have all those symptoms (along with a gazillion other women out there I bet) and I worry a bit that maybe I have ovarian cancer (especially now since Dad has been diagnosed with cancer). But at least I have the smarts to know that I am crazy and that lots of women feel this way so I probably don't have ovarian cancer (but the thought is still there in the back of my head). Either way, I am making a doctors appointment for the middle of Sept, I'm due for my yearly physical anyway so I will tell my doctor my concerns and hopefully they will send me for blood work to ease my worries!

Weekend went fast!

Well, we had a very good weekend but it went by too fast! There were no races this weekend so we got to spend the entire weekend together as a family!! Friday we didn't do much, but first thing Saturday morning we headed to the zoo! It was fun, we walked around the entire zoo (which really isn't that big and only took about two hours), then Jacob was ready for his nap so we took off and headed to the in laws (he napped on the way). We hung out at the in laws and helped set up their new hot tub and build a deck. FIL took us out for supper, a belated Mothers Day supper, and then we headed home. On Sunday I headed to St.Albert to see my brother, give him crap about not visiting my Dad more and to tell him I would take his crazy dog when they go on holidays instead of my Dad! Then I headed to see my Dad, he didn't look great but he didn't look too bad. I could definitely tell he has lost a lot of weight and his house was a mess but that's nothing new. I asked if he wanted to come back with me to the in laws to watch them build a deck and have a BBQ? He agreed but wanted to get showered and dressed first so I went shopping and came back to get him. He was glad to get out of the house and I'm glad I offered to drive him (even though it is a very long drive from his house to mine, it's not bad to do the drive once but I did it 3 times on Sun, which means 3 hours of driving!). It was worth it though to get him out of the house and make him feel like he wasn't "sick". I tried to make it somewhat fun and not talk about the Cancer too much. He is suppose to find out today when he goes in for chemo and radiation. By the time I knew it the weekend was over and now I'm back at work!

I think I want to try and see my Dad every weekend and get him out of the house at least once a week. It's not like I do anything on weekends when hubby is working the track I get lonely too so it might be good for both of us. I'm soooo regretting that I offered to take my brothers nutty dog, she is like a cannonball and I'm scared that she will give my dog a heart attack! My dog is old and too the point in life where all she does is eat and sleep, but my brothers dog is three and is big and still puppy like. She doesn't listen well and licks way too much!! She needs to go to puppy school but instead my brother bought two cats to entertain the dog!? But once again, it's better that I take this crazy dog instead of my Dad and I just have to remember that it's only for 10 days!! She is suppose to be dropped off on Wed, hopefully she isn't too bad.

A few websites

Kinda busy today at work, my boss took the day off to go camping this weekend. I just wanted to let everyone know that I updated my blog roll, took a few out that haven't updated for a while and added a few I found humorous so take a look at them if your bored. I also wanted to share a couple websites that I like to visit often:

http://www.babysteals.com/

http://mamabargains.com/

They have different deals everyday so it's fun to see what is on sale! Hope everyone has a good weekend!! We are hoping to go to the zoo and get some visiting in! :)

Not much ...

Yesterday after work I had to stop by my Dads work to pick up his coffee mug and some other personal things. The place he works at is family run business and they were the ones that pretty much told him to take a few days off and go to a doctor so of course when I went in they wanted to know how he was and if we knew anything. I asked what my Dad had told them and of course he hasn't said much to them, that's just the way my Dad is. I didn't think it would be so hard for me to talk about but I told them that the doctors think it's cancer and that Dad probably won't be back to work for awhile (like a year!?). I felt like this is something they should know and they also need to start getting the paperwork ready for long term disability plus they might have to hire a temp to fill the spot till Dad comes back. Of course everyone there was very concerned about my Dad and I'm grate full that they made him take care of things. They were surprised that no one in the family knew anything was wrong but again this is how my Dad operates, you ask how he is and every time he says good or not bad. This however made me sad that my Dads co-workers knew more about my Father then I did!? How could I have no idea that he was sick? I feel guilty for not seeing it and bad for not visiting him more often. I guess I was so wrapped up in my life that I just never saw it? And now I'm mad at my brother cause he only lives 10 blocks away, why can't he check on Dad more often? Why can't he be the big brother he is suppose to be and look after our family? I feel like it's up to me to take care of my parents, my family, my home and somewhere in there take care of myself!?

On the diet front I have been doing OK, Monday after supper I took Jacob for a walk and although it was really hard to get going we did it, Tuesday was grocery shopping day so I barely even got to see Jacob and then last night we went for a walk again but this time we stopped at the park to let Jacob play with some kids. I think he is missing the interaction with other kids, he gets so excited when he sees other toddlers, I wish hubby would take him out more but the weather has been crappy lately? I also find it hard to believe that hubby is having such a easy time with everything, everyday I ask how it went and he says good, I ask if Jacob napped and he says yes - twice! A morning hour nap and afternoon two hour nap!? WTF!? I had a hard time getting him to nap once on most days how does he do it? When I ask that hubby just says he tuckers Jacob out by playing with him!? Now is he insinuating that I never played with Jacob? Cause I did and we went out almost everyday to get fresh air!? I wish he was having a hard time with it just so I would know that it wasn't me, that I'm not a horrible mother that can't seem to get her kid to nap.

I'm shopping for a new computer, soon. But there are so many choices, desktop or laptop and what do I want it to do, how many GB/ MB? I'm still waiting for hubby to get my photos off the old computer and hopefully he gets that done soon! I'm not sure what he does while Jacob naps all day but I don't want to ask. So far he has helped out a bit with house work, Mondays is vacuuming day and dishes are usually always done by the time I get home. He tries to stay on top of garbage duty but that has always been his job. I really need to get my bathroom washed and I have weeds in my flower beds that are taller then the flowers!!! This weekend I'm taking Jacob to the zoo for the first time, I'm pretty excited and hopefully the weather co-operates!

The smartest kid on the block!

I just wanted everyone to know that I have the smartest kid on the block!! Yup, that's right ... he's brilliant! Now that I'm back at work and don't hang out with him all day I notice the little things more now. For example, last night after supper we went for a walk like I promised I would and felt great about it (even though it was hard to get started), then I gave him a bath and we played for a bit. Hubby decided to stay in last night (which was nice but now he has one less day to get work done on customers cars), then around 8:15pm Jacob started getting cranky and I could tell he was getting sleepy (bedtime is usually 8:30pm). I asked him if he was sleepy and if it was bedtime and guess what he did? He started walking to his bedroom, went straight to his crib grabbed the bars and made his "up" noise as he stood on his tippy toes! I was amazed, he actually put himself to bed!? How crazy is that, hopefully he still does this when he is 2! He knew he was sleepy and he knew where he had to go, it may seem silly to some of you but I'm still amazed that he did this.

1st camping trip .... kinda

Well since hubby was at the track all weekend I thought it might be a good idea to ask the in laws to borrow their fifth wheel and Jacob and I could go and camp out at the track, this way we might actually be able to see Dad and maybe watch a little bit of the races!? Boy was I wrong!! I don't think it was a good idea, it would have been better if I had someone to hang around with or take turns watching Jacob. My in laws were nice enough to keep Jacob Friday for a couple extra hours AND gave him a bath just so I could pack everything I needed and not be tripping over a one year old! I ended up finishing packing early and had enough time to head out to the track, unpack, set up the playpen and then head back to get the dog and Jacob. Jacob passed out on the way to the track so he didn't end up going to bed till 10:30pm (2 hours later then normal) which I didn't really mind cause we were camping! But then hubby got in late and Jacob woke at 4am then again at 6am and I had a hard time falling asleep and if anyone knows me they know that lack of sleep does not agree with me! So needless to say I was cranky Sat but thought I would make the best of it. Jacob wouldn't nap in the trailer so we went for a drive which was OK cause then I got to stop for a coffee, which I really needed!! :) But as the day progressed the more grumpy I got and the more cranky Jacob got, I was frustrated cause I couldn't go watch the races (Jacob didn't want to sit for that long) so all I could do was walk the pits and look at cars. Then it rained and Jacob didn't want to hang out in the trailer and although the trailer is about 24 feet, after you get a playpen, a rottweiler and a one year old in there it becomes quite small fast! Thankfully it didn't rain long but it was very muddy out so Jacob couldn't walk by himself (not that he wanted to cause he was very clingy so I had to carry him a lot). I really wanted to give him a bath but hubby hadn't turned the propane on for hot water and I asked three people to give him a message but apparently no one did!? So I left .... we went home around 8pm, I gave Jacob a bath at home, I had a nice long shower after he went to bed and I crashed. I took all my frustration out on hubby, blaming him for my crummy time but now I'm thinking that I might have over reacted!? If no one gave him the message then it's not really his fault!? Anyway, I had a great sleep at home and then Sunday we went visiting and headed back to the track to finish packing everything up. I think I would have had a better time if I had someone to hang out with, walk with and trade off looking after Jacob!? I didn't even know until today that one of the guys I work with made it to the final round, wish I would have seen it?

So, then after I finished packing up the trailer and walking the pits, Jacob and I had lunch out at the track and we headed home. When I got home I noticed the dog was downstairs and thought it was odd of her to be downstairs, since she is getting older now and has a hard time going up or down stairs. I figured she must have went downstairs to cool off cause it was warm out, so I took three steps downstairs and realized why she was down there! It stunk ..... bad! She made a BIG mess, it took two rolls of paper towel, two plastic bags and two swiffers to clean up the mess!! It was disgusting and not really what I had hoped to do when I got home! She has been getting sick lots lately and I'm not too sure why!?

Needless to say, I was kinda excited to get back to work, so I could have a break! The weekend was a lot of work, you would think I should be skinny by now! ? Speaking of skinny .... I'm determined, I WILL go for a walk tonight and every night this week or at least get on the Wii for 30min every night!! I am also hoping that hubby will get my photos off the "sick" computer soon so I have more pics to post! But that's another story.....

Papa's sick ... :(

Well, I've been putting off posting this for a few days now and I guess I can't ignore it anymore, it's not going away. My Dad has been sick for a little while now (longer then I think he let any of us know about) and he finally went to the doctor (only because his boss pretty much told him to not come back to work until he got himself taken care of). So, he had blood tests and other tests and more tests to come but so far we know that the doctors found a lump and yes, it's cancer. So that has been my crummy week - we now have to figure out what to do for my Dad, because he lives alone and doesn't have anyone to look after him. My brother and I were thinking about letting him stay at our house after his chemo treatments but honestly I'd rather him stay at my house (my brothers house is kinda messy and I'm worried that when my Dads immune system gets low he will catch something at their house). Plus my hubby is home all day so he could keep an eye on my Dad, I still have to talk to my hubby about this but since he has been so busy at the track I haven't had time to even ask him how his day was! I keep thinking that it's not that bad and that there are lots of people that are cancer survivors but then I think of the word "cancer" and think horrible thoughts. It has definitely made me take a close look at my life and want to try harder to be healthy. I need to get healthy not just for me but for Jacob and I need to get a will. These are things I have been saying for a long time but now I think what would happen if it was me sick, is Jacob going to be taken care of (financially and physically)!? I'm no spring chicken anymore and need to think about these things! But the more I think about them the more emotional and upset I get, I deal best by denial! It's like my safety blanket, I try to forget the misery and carry on with daily chores but I know it's not the way you should deal with things. I need to start being a parent, start being an adult, start dealing with reality!