sick & tired ....

So, since getting back from holidays I have been sick and tired, apparently this cold I have is very draining! We have been going to bed by 9pm and not waking till 7 the next day so I'm definitely getting my sleep. I am finding it soooo hard to start dieting again! After taking a break at Christmas time it was hard then to get back at it but this time it seems worse!? I still really want to loose those last 15ish pounds and I know it won't take that much longer if I just stick to the plan. The problem I am having is that I know that once you start IP there are no cheat days, there are no 'just one bites' - you have to be committed, you have to be 100%. This is what I am finding hard to commit to. I am soooo sick of salads but yet I am also sick of feeling fat and heavy from not eating the right foods. I went for my weigh in last week and was going to start this week but it is already Mon and I haven't started yet. I'm suppose to be going for a weigh in again on Wed but now I'm thinking of postponing that, since I haven't started yet there won't be any change. And my coach wasn't even the one that weighed me in last week, it was her niece again!? I thought for sure my coach would have wanted to see me after my holiday and such but she sent her niece instead?

Below I have posted a pic of me - it's not the most flattering pic but definitely the most recent. I don't think I look bad but I do still see a muffin top that I would like to get rid of and I think I need to exercise more to help tone up!? But you aren't suppose to exercise on IP, so maybe I might have to do an alternative plan or find a new plan? I just like how fast IP is, I just don't know if I can be committed to it again? It's like a love hate relationship!? LOL

tired today

I'm awfully tired today, even though I have started taking my multivitamin that is suppose to help that drowsy feeling. I think it's just cause I had a little bit of a rough night, Jacob woke at 3am, then the dog wanted out at 5am and my alarm is set for 6:30am! Yes, Jacob still wakes in the night, usually between 1-3am, usually it's quick and he's back asleep fast but it still sucks to be woken up by someone crying "Mommy". I wish I knew why he is still waking, hubby thinks it's cause he is having bad dreams, I think he is just so used to waking up in the middle of the night that it is a habit now. A habit that I would love to break but hubby doesn't like the idea of "tough love", although it's a little harder to let him "cry it out" now then it was when he was in a crib and only 10 months old (when we probably should have done it). He thinks that eventually Jacob will grow out of it and that we just continue doing what we are doing, I on the other hand am not so sure that this is teaching him anything? I also have a headache today which doesn't help my sleepiness, I just want to curl up and have a nap! :(

I haven't been to the gym all week so I feel a little sluggish from that, and I'm kinda dreading going tonight - just cause it's been so long since I have gone that I am feeling lazy. I have also had a couple cheats that I'm not feeling so great about so I really need to go tonight!! Tomorrow is weigh in day and I would really like to see my ticker at 10lbs total loss (or more!)

21 Months ...

WOW - 21 Months old already!! Only 3 more months till my 'baby' turns 2!!! And lately Jacob has been miserable!!! It's so frustrating for me when he is cranky or whinny and I have absolutely no idea why!? I'm sure it's probably from teething or lack of sleep but how do you explain to a 21 month old that it's OK ... things will be OK ... if you just go to sleep!!! :(

So things that are different this month:

-- Jacobs vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds!! Even the ladies at the gym daycare have commented to me that he is more chatty.

-- Most of the things Jacob says are just one word, not too many sentences or word combos except for "I do it" or "I get it". Everything else is still just one word like: up, down, no, more, mine, mommy, daddy, house, help, puppy, woof woof, meow, uh oh, blue, ball, bus, choo choo.

-- He tries to pull his pants up now and he can zip his jacket up (with a little help).

-- He knows most of his body parts and can count to 3.

-- He seems to really like trains, puppies and books right now.

-- His eating is sometimes great and sometimes nothing at all.

-- His sleeping is getting better, there are more nights he sleeps through then before so hopefully soon he wont wake up at all?

-- PJ's with feet seem to be a issue right now ... I think his feet get too hot?

-- He still has the bottle, more then I'd like to admit! But at supper time now he gets milk in a cup and is doing very well with it.

-- He is definitely testing his limits with us (especially me) and will have a fit when I try to help him or make him do something.

This past week was very draining on me, it was like he hated me! Just everything seemed to be a challenge, lots of whining ... lots of crying! This morning he grabbed a banana and we asked if he wanted one, he acted like he did cause when we tried to put it back he had a fit so we sit down open the banana and hand it to him. He in turn runs away screaming! We figure it's cause he wants me to help him so hubby hands me the banana and I try to give it to Jacob he says "no ... mommy" and points to me. So guess what I had for breakfast!? He just wanted me to have the banana, he never wanted one. This is a small example of what my days have been like. I just can't wait till I can ask him and have him tell me that he wants me to have a banana and I can tell him no thank-you ... I really don't want a banana for breakfast!!! :(

It's almost Friday and I'm sad to say that I'm not really looking forward to it! Weekends are hard enough never mind when he is cranky and fussy! I am usually so happy when Monday roles around that I get to go to work. I think it might be a little different if I didn't feel like I had to take Jacob with me everywhere on weekends. Maybe if my hubby would take Jacob with him too where ever he has to go and I could stay home to get stuff done instead of running around visiting family and hauling Jacob in and out of the car, then I would look forward to weekends!? Maybe soon, Jacob will be able to express how he wants to spend the day with Daddy in the garage or if he wants to come with Mommy visiting, then it will be his choice and hopefully he will be happy with his choice? As much as I hate to see him grow up and as much as I miss the baby blob days I can't wait for the day he can calmly tell us what he wants!!

So tired!

I am so incredibly tired! It all started Thursday night .... Jacob had a rough night, he went to bed easy as pie at 8:00 but at 2am he woke (nothing too strange about this, he has been waking once a night ever since he started teething) BUT this time was different! We changed him and gave him a bottle, just like always but when he finished his bottle he started screaming!! We went back in to see what the problem was, I still have no idea, we gave him some Tylenol thinking that maybe his teeth hurt but he just would NOT go back to sleep! I was ready to just head back to bed and let him cry it out but hubby took care of him. He cuddled with him on the couch till he settled down but every time he tried to put him in his crib Jacob would scream his head off! So finally at 4am, hubby brought Jacobs little couch bed thing into our room and Jacob crashed on it beside our bed. I was exhausted Friday from only having 4 hours of sleep and then after a full day at work I had to go to the track and work till midnight!! :( I was determined to come straight home after racing was finished so I could get some sleep but our friends convinced me to go out with them and I never got home till 2am!!! I couldn't even sleep in the next day cause my in laws were going to the Derby so I had to pick up Jacob early!! Saturday was a pretty busy day too, I had to keep busy or else I would fall asleep, so we headed to my companies family/ camping thing. When we got there I was surprised that there was only 3 other family's there!? Needless to say it was kinda boring and all Jacob and I did was play in the park by our self cause everyone else was there to drink and party!? We left fairly early, the minute Jacob started getting cranky and needed to nap! Headed home, had supper, gave Jacob an early bath and prayed that he would go to bed early .... no such luck!! He was awake later then normal and never went to bed till 9:30!! I crashed shortly after that but had to get up early with him again on Sunday and he seemed pretty cranky! After breakfast and a shower we headed to the race track, just for something to do and Jacob kept asking for "DAADA" so I thought I would take him to where Dad works. When he started getting cranky we got in the car and headed to St.Albert, he crashed. My Dad asked if we could stop at Costco on the way to pick him up smokes so while I was there I decided to look around, they had a good sale on pj's so I picked some up for Jacob. We also got a quick visit in with a friend and then headed home. I am still tired today and really need to get some sleep!