Yes.... I know ... its been almost a year since I have blogged. Those who did follow this blog have probably moved on and those that still check I am still alive, still fighting that bulge battle, still "living the dream" :s
So just a little recap.... Jacob is almost 4!!! :o and amazes me everyday with the stories he comes up with and how he has grown into a good little boy. There are days he definitely tests my limits and there are days I wonder if its worth the fight and usually back down. We registered him for playschool just last Monday so he will be starting that in Sept.
As most of you know I was on IP for a while and successfully lost almost 35lbs. Then went on a holiday to Mexico, got back from that and decided it was a free for all! I "took the summer off" dieting and "had fun" which inevitably got me right back to where I was before going on IP. I am disappointed with myself and wish I would have just got back on the diet wagon after getting back from our holiday instead of "having fun" cause now I have to work VERY hard to get the weight off again! :(
I feel like I am one of those ladies that has "tried every diet" and failed. I'm not sure which direction I want to go in. I hate myself and wish soooo badly that I could just wake up thin - heck who doesn't want that?? But then there are days that I am stressed, running late, just want a F'n french fry! Or drink for that matter. Then all the weight loss I had accomplished is down the drain and I wake up the next morning thinking... K-today! Today is the day I stay 100%.... no cheats... just give it a chance! But by the evening (especially on weekends) I throw in the towel. I have been up and down the same 5-10lbs since Dec. and often wonder ... what do I want more?? To be thin(er), to just make healthier choices (sometimes) or to live life as if today was my last day! (which it very well could be if I gain a ton of weight) ?
As most of you know I was on IP for a while and successfully lost almost 35lbs. Then went on a holiday to Mexico, got back from that and decided it was a free for all! I "took the summer off" dieting and "had fun" which inevitably got me right back to where I was before going on IP. I am disappointed with myself and wish I would have just got back on the diet wagon after getting back from our holiday instead of "having fun" cause now I have to work VERY hard to get the weight off again! :(
I feel like I am one of those ladies that has "tried every diet" and failed. I'm not sure which direction I want to go in. I hate myself and wish soooo badly that I could just wake up thin - heck who doesn't want that?? But then there are days that I am stressed, running late, just want a F'n french fry! Or drink for that matter. Then all the weight loss I had accomplished is down the drain and I wake up the next morning thinking... K-today! Today is the day I stay 100%.... no cheats... just give it a chance! But by the evening (especially on weekends) I throw in the towel. I have been up and down the same 5-10lbs since Dec. and often wonder ... what do I want more?? To be thin(er), to just make healthier choices (sometimes) or to live life as if today was my last day! (which it very well could be if I gain a ton of weight) ?
I was chatting with a friend and she suggested I start blogging again. Write it down, be accountable. I think I need to make some positive steps towards getting healthy which should help me get thinner? I need to rediscover my willpower and motivation! I need goals and I need to achieve them!! But first I need a plan..... I am stuck between going back on a "paid for" "planned diet" or trying Weight Watchers (again) I know that WW is the better lifestyle change but results are usually slower and you have to hold yourself accountable for your choices (which I'm not so good at yet) where as a paid program usually has quicker results which make you excited to keep at it but doesn't teach you as much until you are closer to your goal weight and start adding your own foods. :s Not sure.... must decide and quick! ;)
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