Another month almost gone

Well, another month is almost past which means we are that much closer to spring and summer which also means we are that much closer to shorts and tank top weather. Which I'm not too excited about, I really don't want to buy new shorts and summer wear. One of the guys at work and I are going to have a competition, starting April 1st, it is like the Moms Biggest Loser challenge I was in before. We will each pitch in $25 and whoever looses the most weight based on % will win the pot!! So far there are about 5 of us that are going to put money in so the winning pot will be $125!! :) The guy I work with wants to do our first and final weigh in at work where we are both witnesses but I'm not sure about the other friends that are going to get in on it, I think it will be hard to get everyone together, we might just have to trust them!? I think it will be good for me to be in this challenge, it will give me a goal and I really want to kick his butt!! I am also hoping though that by April 1st I can start my new diet plan and that will help me stay focused on the new plan and drop weight quickly!? And we are going to be doing it for 3 months, which will be right before the summer heat wave and I've heard that it takes 3 months to change a habit so hopefully that will be enough time for me to loose at least 25lbs (which is about half way to goal) and I will have lost my cravings for carbs! ;)

In other news .... Jacobs big boy bed FINALLY arrived from where ever it had to come from, so yesterday hubby went to pick up the boxes and last night he assembled it. Jacob was soooo excited to see his new bunk bed in his room, I thought we would have a tough time getting him to go to sleep just cause he was so excited but he actually slept really good!! We are still waiting for his mattress to arrive (suppose to be Sunday) so in the meantime we just slide the twin mattress under and took the planks off the frame which actually worked out good cause then the bed frame acted as one of those safety boards (which I still have to buy) so they don't roll out of bed in the middle of the night. I can't wait till his room is complete and set up for good! I will have to go shopping this weekend to buy sheets and a safety thing for his bed and then by Monday it will be all done!! :)

Tonight I plan on going to the gym for their Sprint Class, I LOVE the trainer that teaches this class. It is so much fun, she has different levels so you don't kill yourself and not want to go back and the music she plays isn't irritating like some of the other ones. I have been pretty disappointed lately with my weigh ins and feel like I'm going to the gym, sweating a lot and not seeing any results but I know it's only because I'm not following the plan 100%. I feel like there are some days were all I can think about is having a treat or snack on something I shouldn't. It's all I can think about, I imagine it is what an addict would feel like, which I suppose I am (addicted to food). I'm hoping that a new plan will let me see the results I long to see which will encourage me to stick to the plan and therefore always seeing results!? At least we can hope!! :)

Feb already .... !

January seemed to fly by, I can't believe it is already February and that much closer to spring!! Not too much new happening, Grandpa isn't doing so well - they say that his cancer is progressing really fast and that we should all prepare ourselves (could be a week, could be a month - but probably won't be much longer). Dad is also hanging in, he has surgery tomorrow and then will probably be spending a week in the hospital which would be good for him. I have noticed though that he has become more emotional around me which is really hard, my family was never good at sharing our feelings so to hear my Dad cry on the phone is super hard! I think he is mostly upset because he is loosing his Independence more and more, he had to ask me to help to some laundry for him when I was over there last time (which I totally don't mind at all) but it made him upset - I think because it is something that he should be able to do but can no longer manage to climb stairs with a laundry hamper. He is probably also upset about his Dad being sick and how he is the oldest boy and should be the one to look after his Mom but can't?!

On a more happy note .... Jacob is getting cuter everyday!! He repeats way more words then he used too and although a lot of them don't quite sound right they are close. The other day we were leaving swimming lessons and there was a big diesel truck running that Jacob pointed to so I said - "oh, a big loud diesel" and Jacob repeated diesel but it sounded more like "deezeel" - now we need to be more aware of what we are saying cause next thing I know I will have a little two year old cursing in the back seat!! ;) Our bedtime routine has become fairly smooth, if he's really tired he tells me to sit in his bed with him and I read some books then turn off the lights close the door and he goes to sleep. If he isn't that tired but it after 8:30 I tell him it's bedtime, we collect his puppy and blankie take it to bed, close the door and he goes to sleep. He does still wake usually once a night but lately it has been more like early morning, around 5:30am, and only a few times he has gotten out of bed on his own in the middle of the night and I hear little foot steps in the hallway.

He is also much better with going to the gym daycare and usually doesn't cry at all when I drop him off. I am liking that I can spend an hour to take care of myself and still be able to spend time with him at night. Although I haven't been seeing the results I would like to see from sweating my a$$ off! Tomorrow is weigh in day and I'm hoping to see at least a pound loss but I know I have had a few cheats. I don't' know why I keep thinking that it's OK to have a cheat here and there - it's like I keep thinking that I'm on maintenance or I think that it's OK to eat a cookie or two cause I worked out the night before!? I think I need to start a new plan, one that I haven't been on before so that I give it 100% so that I stop myself from thinking that it's OK to have a treat cause last time I was on this diet (NS) it was OK to have a extra snack, cause last time I made it to goal. So today I cancelled my NS shipments, I am going to finish off the food I have (about a month and a half worth of food), then start a new diet! I will still try and loose as much as I can for this last month on NS but then I need to decide if I want to join my friends on their IP diet (which seems to be working well for them but has a strict no fruit, no dairy, no carb rule) or try a new diet that no one I know is on but you are allowed some fruit, dairy and even a starch for breakfast if you want (Medifast/Wonderslim) from all the info I have read on this diet it looks to be like a high protein, low fat diet that you have shakes, protein bars and buy their soups, similar to NS. I have a month to think about it and if my girlfriends end up doing as good as I think they will then I may try the IP diet, I just hate the thought of no fruit and yogurt cause those are like my treats for the day? But if you see the huge numbers then maybe it's worth it to live without those pleasures? I don't really want to be one of those people that "have tried every diet out there" - I just want the one that works!!

almost a New Year ...

After all said and done ... it turned out to be a pretty good Christmas. There were a few people missing from the festivities and every so often I would catch myself reflecting on the bad things that have happened in 2009 and some things that may be in the near future.

We celebrated Christmas on the 24th at our house and I decided to have everyone over to my house for dinner (which was a first for me) and I think I can honestly say that it turned out good, my turkey wasn't pink, the stuffing was much better then last time and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. My Dad even came, which I honestly thought he was going to cancel saying he didn't feel good. Of course he ate way too much and didn't feel too good after but that is what happens when your body isn't used too having food and you have a meal! He really needs to start eating more but how do you force a grown man to eat? Santa came on the 24th as well, after supper my FIL and hubby took Jacob for a walk to "look for Santa" and while they were gone guess who showed up!? he he The look on his face when he walked in and saw all the gifts was priceless but of course my camera died just before they walked in the door and I didn't get any pics of Jacob opening his presents!! We took video though and hopefully my Uncle will send me a few pics? We were all spoiled - Jacob had so many presents .. I think we really over did it this year, the stores just seemed to have such good deals that I bought way more then I should.

On the 25th we went to visit my Mom and ended up having dinner there, it was nice to spend time with family. The 26th my in laws have an open house that we went too, Jacob was such a good boy throughout the entire holiday, his schedule was way off but it didn't seem to affect him too much. Everyone thought he was cute and he made everyone laugh when he tried flirting with one of my hubbies cousins friends (a very pretty Asian girl), he was chasing her all around the pool table trying to pull her dress off.... it sounds odd but really it was sooo funny!

I'm back at work today.... and it is so slow!! My girlfriend had a baby last night and I'm so anxious to go see the new addition!! I'm hoping that maybe if we aren't very busy that I could sneak out early and go see the baby!!?

So now that the holidays are over I'm determined to loose this weight!! I'm so tired of being FAT! My jeans are so tight that pretty soon I will have to lie on my bed to do them up! I like being comfortable in my pants and right now - I am not!! I might join a gym, I'm still debating it though... I hate to spend money on something like that knowing that I have a treadmill in my basement but with a gym they have daycare services so I can take Jacob after supper, he can play and I get an hour or so work out. But at home I have to wait till he is in bed (which sometimes isn't until 9pm and then go on the treadmill!? By then I really don't' feel like it, that is my time to relax and catch up on a few shows. I also have the Wii at home but it's so hard to play when Jacob is up, he wants us to play with him so I would have to wait till he is in bed. I'm so determined to do it this time!! I have to get the weight off and I have to be patient, you can put 5lbs on in one night but it takes 2 weeks to get it off! That is what I hate, I end up getting frustrated and throw in the towel before I give it a chance. So for 2010 I will have the same resolution as millions of others out there ... to get healthy and be fit! By Jacobs 2nd birthday I want to be in the 100s again!!

busy

Well, I've been pretty busy ... between work, my Dad, taking care of the house and trying to spend time with Jacob it has been a little hectic.

Dad has been doing OK, he isn't eating half as much as he should and is all skin and bones now but I think he is in good spirits. He has his last treatment of radiation today and then starts chemo on Sept.11th. He still needs to decide if he wants to take it by pill or by injection, not sure which way he is leaning towards. I'm a little worried that when he starts chemo he will get really sick and I'm hoping that he gets admitted to the hospital so that the nurses can look after him.

My nephew has his birthday party this weekend, he is turning 8!! We will probably be showing up late which really won't be late cause that is just the way my brothers parties go. He tells you 2 but they don't start doing anything till long after everyone gets there. It kinda bugs us that we show up on time and then just sit around waiting for something!?

Jacob is doing great, I love that little guy so much! I love when he gives kisses without even asking for them, makes me feel like he loves me just as much as I love him! :) Well, it looks like my MIL is going to watch Jacob for us during the week, Tues, Wed and Fridays so I can stop looking for sitters or day homes. My hubby says he told me about it but I know for a fact that he never mentioned any such news to me!! I hate when he tells me he told me stuff but I know he never and he blames my bad memory on not remembering.

FINALLY .... Jacob claps!! It's the cutest thing to see, he was trying to stand on his little stool without the help of anything around him and finally he got on it and stood up tall and clapped! We start swimming lessons on the 13th, I'm looking forward to getting back in the pool and I think Jacob will understand a bit more now.

Work is kinda confusing.... they hired a new guy, and I thought were suppose to tell the old guy that his days were numbered but then on Monday they brought in another computer!? So now we have 4 people answering the phone and really aren't busy enough to warrant having 4 counter people so ... I'm wondering WTH is going on!? Someone has to leave, there is no way we need all these people here!? Now I'm wondering if it might be me, I don't think so but you just never know, what if they backdoor me!? Hopefully they tell us soon what is going on!

I think I will be getting my NS order this week so that means I am back on the diet wagon! 100% this time!!! No ifs, ands OR butt's !! he he I just need to be strong, find my willpower and listen to my gut! I remember how long it took me to loose the weight last time and I'm not looking forward to a lifetime of dieting but I'm so sick of being the fat Mom that looks like I have a spare tire around my waist! I feel like I'm in the right mind set this time to loose the weight and I'm hoping that by Christmas I will be half way to my goal, by Jacobs 2nd birthday I want to be back in my skinny pants!!

affair ....

Dear Sweets,

You have been there when I needed you the most, through the emotional, stressful and lonely times. You have cheered me up by just being there and letting me hold you. But it needs to end! I want to be with coffee more, he doesn't hurt me the ways you do by adding pounds of frustration and self hatred. I need to spend more time with things that will help me reach my goals and even though you were a good listener I need someone that will help me reach my goals. The affair was great while it lasted but I need to get back to what I once was .... a size 10!!!

Yup, I weighed in today, just for sh*ts and giggles and there was neither of those happening! I'm so mad at myself and I'm starting to get discouraged! I've gained almost all the weight I lost and I blame chocolate, I can feel the extra weight when I walk, the way my clothes fit, it just seriously pisses me off!! Why can't it be easier! ? My hubby knows there is something bugging me and asks but I don't tell him I'm mad at myself for eating crap and getting fat! I'm sure he's sick of hearing me say it and he never really offers any advice anyway. He just gives me a look like "well, if you don't like it then do something about it" which just makes me feel guilty and bad cause I just can't seem to figure out how!

Time management is harder then I thought now that I am back at work and have Jacob in the evenings. I NEED to start going for evening walks but now that Jacob is older I'm not sure if he will even sit for that long in the stroller? He will want to walk too but if I go his pace I won't even get my heart rate up. I'm all out of fruits and veggies and normally I would just take Jacob to the store and pick some up but when I don't get home till 5ish, make dinner and then depending on Jacob either give him a bath and he's ready for bed or I could manage to either go for a walk or go shopping after supper but not both (as long as he had a nap that day). I'm sure it will get easier and one of the guys at work here suggested that maybe I go for morning walks instead which actually isn't a bad idea. I could go by myself, sort out my thoughts, not worry about baby, come home and have a shower. Then the evenings would still be "our" time to have fun with Jacob. I also NEED to get rid of the chocolate almond boxes that are for sale in front of me, tempting me all day!! Next week I will stay a little late after work and move my computer to the other side of the counter and put the chocolates at the other end!

So besides being slightly depressed about my weight which I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about! I'm doing OK, I really enjoy having the break from Jacob during the day and can't wait till he is old enough to tell me what he has done all day without me. I love seeing his face light up when he sees me and the way he gives me a snuggle after a long day at work. This weekend I have so much to do, I have to do everything that I normally would do during the week (like clean the bathrooms, floors and vacuum), I also need to go to the photo place to order our pics I want and thank you cards, I should also go to the grocery store and pick up fruits and veggies (cause I don't think I'll have time tonight or tomorrow), I need to return/ exchange some gifts Jacob got (mostly clothes but they are at 4 different stores) and I really should go visiting family. I wish I could work part time but my job doesn't really offer that, then I could get the stuff done that hubby can't seem to figure out!? Like going to the grocery store for fruit or doing laundry!

a quick post

Just a quick post today, not that I have much to say but I am going to do it in point form.

**Below are a few pics of the bumps/ rash Jacob had that I went to the ER about, the ones on his tummy were taken a few days after I noticed them so it is a little hard to see them but they were as red as the one on his foot. I probably wouldn't have thought much of it but they were so sporadic and it wasn't like a rash but more like little bug bites. Anyway I guess they are harmless and I haven't seen anymore show up so I guess it's no big deal? And now that I look at the pictures they don't seem so bad, maybe I over reacted?

**Jacob has one tooth that has poked through (happened over Christmas) and I can honestly say that I did not enjoy the experience and I am not really looking forward to the other 19 that still need to come out! It was horrible - the runs, more spit up/ throw up, cranky, more emotional then normal and cheeks as red as a sunburn (both cheeks, face and bum - hehe)

**Jacob is now rolling over very well from tummy to back and is very close to going the other way too. It's cute, after he rolls over he gets all excited and kicks his legs. I will have to post the video clip I recorded next time I blog.

**I ordered my first NS shipment today! It's official, my diet has begone! Hopefully it won't take me too long to shed the weight and hopefully I can still stomach NS!? I really want to get healthy and my "fat" jeans are really uncomfortable which makes me realize that I need to do something now! I'm just not happy with myself, I'm hoping that when I get my shipment it will give me the motivation to get thin!

**I got a new stove for Christmas, kind of a gift from my hubby - I love it and now all my appliances are stainless steel! I also love my new camera, the pictures are so much clearer now and I can do more fun things to the pictures. I can't wait to get my first set of pics developed so I can see how much clearer they really are.

**Jacob has been waking up in the middle of the night again and I'm not too sure why!? Usually around 3am and he won't go back to sleep until we feed him so I'm thinking that he isn't eating enough during the day now that we are partially on real food now? I am trying to give him a breakfast and supper (slowly introducing new foods) and I find that the supper meal is the hardest one for me to give him. We just seem so rushed at night time with having to cook supper for hubby and giving Jacob a bath the time just flys by!?

Up coming surgery ...

Two more days and three more sleeps till I go for my gall bladder surgery and I must say I'm scared out of my mind!! Not that I would tell anyone else that but I can honestly say that I'm a little freaked out. They say that a lot of women that had attacks while pregnant will never have another attack again (unless they get pregnant again... something about all the hormones in your body?). So if I wanted too I could choose not to have my gall bladder removed and just take the chance, eat fatty foods and hope I don't have an attack or just get it removed and never have to worry about the thing ever again!? I know quite a few ladies that have had theirs removed and say it was the best thing they ever did, but they had the surgery done years ago when the surgeon had to actually open you up and you would stay in the hospital for 3-5 days. Now a days they do the surgery by laproscopic and all I will have are four small wounds and be discharged from the hospital the very same day!!! :o I have no idea what I am going to feel like after and I think that is what scares me the most ..... what if I'm too sore to pick up Jacob when he is crying? or what if I need help out of bed and hubby is working? Will I need him to babysit me? I don't think he is too excited about me going for surgery (not that he really has a choice) but there is a big race the day before my surgery (the same day as Jacob's shots that I'm already making him miss a little of the race to be with me for support) and then the regular races on the weekend. He's not really the sit and home and I'll take care of you type guy, he rarely likes to sit at home on any day. I suppose we will get through it just like anything else we have done but it still sucks and a part of me wishes I didn't have to go!

I must admit that this staying at home bit is starting to get a little boring and yes I know that eventually Jacob will become more active and entertaining but for now he is really kinda boring?! Everyday he has "play time" where he is more active cooing and entertaining - which to me is the best part of the day and I love to see him smile at me, it makes my day! But there is still a good portion of the day where he is sleeping or he is awake and I'm thinking to myself ... now what?! He's been fed, changed, burped, we did a little tummy time and I tickled him till I thought he had enough, I talk to him almost all day and wait patiently for him to coo back to me. But then what? I think I want to get one of those baby carriers that you wear on your chest, I think it's called a Snuggly? Cause the other day I went outside to do some gardening and put him in he stroller thinking that he would be OK with just being outside but I think he thinks that the stroller is suppose to move and if it doesn't move for a while then he cries? Same thing with the car and his baby seat, if we hit too many red lights or are stuck in traffic not moving he screams! It's like he knows if he is in something with wheels it needs to move!! So maybe if I had one of those Snuggly things then I could get stuff done outside (while it's still nice out) cause there is only so many times that I can wash the floors and clean bathrooms in one week! ;)

I'm a little anxious with the weight loss, I really miss the new/ old me, just when I was starting to be comfortable with the new "skinny" me I get fat again. I know it was all for a really good cause and I would do it over in a heart beat. I'm so glad I lost 80lbs before getting pregnant cause if I didn't then I would have to loose soooo much weight now and loosing weight is the hardest thing I have ever had to do!! I'm still stuck at 190, actually I think I have gained a few pounds since then and I'm at 194!!! It pisses me off that instead of loosing I'm gaining and I need to focus more on eating healthy! I wish I could be one of those skinny girls that never has to worry about how many carbs I've eaten today or if it's OK for me to have a treat? I want to be at 170 again and I know before I said "it takes 9 months to gain the weight so take 9 months to get it off" but I'm so impatient, I want it to all fall off effortlessly! Doesn't everyone?! ;) Jacob is almost holding his head up for longer periods so I think when he is at 3 months I will join a mom/ tot swim group or find other groups for mom's that want to exercises and burn the fat! I'm also thinking of joining a mom/baby group that is in my neighborhood (for babies over 6 weeks), it starts Aug 26, goes for 6 weeks and costs $30. It will get me out of the house once a week (and not just to go to WalMart), I will meet other moms (and potential future friends) and I will get to talk about any concerns or questions.

Weigh in

Well - I think this will just be a quick post, it is harder then I thought it would be to get on here to make posts!? Other things are just more important and take priority over blogging! ;)

So we gave Jacob his first bath at home, it went fairly well - better then the one at the hospital, he seemed to like our bath better ? I am having a good time bonding with Jacob and Dad is helping out lots too. We've gone on quite a few ventures already, I went to the registry place to apply for his birth certificate, I applied for my EI, took Jacob for a few visits and shopping trips. I am trying to fill out his baby book as things happen but I can see how the book might get forgotten about. Maybe next week I will attempt to work on the scrapbook!?

I weighed my self this morning - I'm down 23lbs!! Not bad - more then half of what I gained lost in 10 days! Jacob also got weighed today too and is now above his birth weight, weighing in at 7lbs 6oz. I feel like my head is full of numbers, everything is numbers now - when did he eat last, how many ounces (he's up to about 3oz per feeding now), when did he fall asleep, how long do I have till he wakes up. I'm constantly checking the time, so much that hubby put a clock up in the living room. The cloth diapers are a little more challenging then I thought, it's not the fact that I have to do some form of laundry everyday (whether it be diapers or our clothes) - I think the most frustrating part is that they aren't that absorbent and it seems like he is a peeing machine!! I thought I peed lots, this kid can soak through a diaper and not even 10 minutes later soak through another. And because he is too small for the rubber pants not only do I have to change a diaper every hour I need to change his outfit! I have now started to use disposables at bedtime just so I don't have to change his outfit in the middle of the night and I must admit I am a little envious of how easy the disposables are but I will stick to the cloth ones during the day. Even though I complain about how he is a peeing machine it makes me feel good that he has a healthy bladder and I can count wet diapers easier in cloth then in disposables.

That's really about all so far, I feel pretty good, not too tired and I usually try to have one nap a day - I start feeling tired around 3:30pm. I have had a couple emotional moments but I'm sure it's just hormones, they usually don't last long. I'm hoping to bring Jacob to the track tomorrow night to show him off (just a quick visit) but we will see how the day goes.

Last night of bowling! :)

Tonight is the last night of bowling!! :> I'm very excited about that!! It seems like the end is just in time, I am starting to feel more tired after work then I have before and just taking the dog for a quick walk seems to be such a chore most nights! I do give myself credit though for lasting the whole season, there were two other ladies that got pregnant during the bowling year and both of them quit ~ said it was too hard?! Next weekend is our banquet where we will receive bowling prizes and awards for high scores, I don't think our team will do as good as last year (last year we won the big trophy and got to pick our prizes first!) but it was still nice to have a night out during the winter months. I'm a little concerned with going to the banquet only because we also get a meal and I won't know how the food was cooked, I'm worried that I might be stuck eating only salads?

I am starting to get more uncomfortable, I have pains in my sides at night (especially when my bladder is full) I figure it's cause baby has no room to move and it puts pressure on all everything else!? I have a kink in my neck, probably cause I am only sleeping on my left side ~ it seems to be the most comfortable and supposedly the best for baby and me!? I find it hard to believe that I used to be 50lbs heavier then I am now and I find things to be difficult now! ? I can't even fathom being that heavy again? Everything seems to take so much more energy now, I find myself trying to catch my breath more often then before and the sad part is that I'm probably not even at my biggest yet! ? I keep thinking that as long as my rings still fit I must be doing OK - cause that means that most/ all the weight is going to the places it should be?!

I must also mention that the Dairy Queen commercials for their new "Tin roof blizzard" is driving me absolutely batty!! hmmmm .... it looks soooo good and I can't wait to be able to eat one after my gallbladder is out!! ;) I think this is at the top of my must have list!! ;)

More Pics ...

Before:

21 Weeks:
29 Weeks:

Front view - Before:

Present - 29 weeks:

I suppose looking at all the pics now I don't think it's too bad, at first when I compared my 21 week pic to the 29 week pic I was amazed at how much bigger I was but now I don't think it's so bad? Maybe I'm just used to looking at it? I would have to say that about 90% of people I know say I look small for 29 weeks and only about 10% say I look big? I have been looking at other ladies pics on one of the forums I go to regularly and think that some of them are about the same size, some are way smaller and some are really big! But for the most part I think I'm the same size as most of them and weight wise I have gained the same as most of the ladies too. I can't believe I have to go back to the doctor again next week, it feels like I was just there! ? I don't know why you have to go so often at this stage, I can't imagine anything changing? Although I did jump on the scale this morning and found out that I have lost 2lbs! ?

Baby is growing!

Woke up this morning to hubby telling me that it looks like my tummy has grown over night!! :o I actually think so too ~ for the last few days I have been feeling like my stomach was stretching and I was more hungry then usual yesterday. I feel like I'm big enough already but I realize that I am bound to get bigger still! I weighed in the other day at 201, so I have officially passed the 200 mark (which I knew I would) and I still weigh less then I did last year before I lost all the weight but I feel bigger then I was before?! I can't even imagine what I would weigh if I was able to eat whatever I wanted and not have to watch my fat intake! I think these gallstones might actually be keeping me somewhat on track! ;) Speaking of gallstones .... I have an appointment with the surgeon at the end of this month, just to get the ball rolling so that hopefully I won't have to wait too long after baby is born to have it removed!? I also have my 28 week doctor appointment next week (on Tuesday), this will be my last appointment on the four week interval ~ after this appointment it will be every two weeks!!! :o I can't believe I'm already at this point in the pregnancy!! On one of the pregnancy forums I visit regularly there are people posting that they have already had their babies - and they are on the June DDC (due date club)!! So I guess anything is possible, ideally we want to keep baby baking for at least another 10 weeks but I guess you just never know!? And plus we still don't have any names picked out so if we don't think about that soon we will end up calling it "Baby" forever!!!! ;)

So grouchy!!

I am so unbelievably grouchy today it's not even funny! Don't know why but people better watch out today!? ;) Everything seems to be on my last nerve, my POS computer at work that is as slow as molasses, the phone ringing and me having to answer it is annoying me, even though it's my job and that's what I get paid to do?! Idiot customers that tell me their silly stories, my pregnant belly that seems to be growing making me feel like a fat mad cow! Everything just seems to bug me more then other days? It could be because we had friends over last night that stayed a little too long (11:45pm) or it could be because after they left and I tried to fall asleep baby had other plans on his mind! My hubby really got to feel baby move last night, I think baby was mad cause I didn't have my bedtime snack - cause company was over. I guess it will be early to bed tonight! ;)

Our computer at home is also being a little jerk! We have two computers a lap top and a regular PC, both are POS's !! There is something wrong with the charger for the laptop, it won't hold a charge!? And there is some kind of virus in the PC that keeps popping up. My plan for the weekend was to get our personal taxes done but with all the issues in the computer I didn't even bother installing the tax program!? Instead I baked some cookies that used cake mix as the batter, took the dog to the vet on Saturday (which went really good - apparently she is in good shape for a senior) and I cleaned the house. Hubby was busy in the basement with his FIL and they got all the drywall hung so hopefully by the weekend it will be ready for primer!?

~~ FRIDAY ! ~~

The week actually wasn't that bad considering it was only a four day work week! ;) We had bowling last night, I didn't do very well - it's OK though, it's just for fun, we aren't a very serious team. I like to win and all but I don't think it means everything. I just got off the phone with my brother, he wants me to babysit this weekend (Sat. night). I guess they have a fund raiser thing for his wife's daughters dance class?! He figures they will only be gone for a few hours but I told him to try and have a little fun and stay out later. It makes me feel like they don't trust me when they come home so early?! So I guess I now have plans for Saturday night, I wanted to think of something for us to do instead of watching TV all night. Like maybe get out of the house (but I don't have a car seat for the little one), or maybe something crafty or a board game?

I feel like the baby is getting bigger, or maybe it's me? Either way I feel bigger and I think people see it too! My tummy is now bigger then my boobs, something I was hoping wouldn't happen for at least another month? I think I have gained about 20lbs so far, which seems like a lot but when I think about it .... I guess it's not too bad for only having 18 weeks left? I think by the end I will be close to the 50lb gain mark which I know is fine and the weight will eventually fall off, probably as quick as it went on (9 months)!! ;) I just sometimes have days that I feel fat, I'm sure it's normal? I am also thinking about all the things we need still and when I think about that and the fact that there is only 18 weeks left (maybe less) I kinda have a sense of urgency! Like time is going by really fast, which is kinda nice cause I really want to see this baby and be done with the pregnancy stuff but we aren't ready yet, I feel like I should have been buying things earlier?! But we can't buy too many things cause we have no where to put them, until the basement is finished (or close to being done)!? So much to do ..... so little time! ;)

Early Prenatal class!

I almost forgot that we had our first "Early Prenatal Class" last night, it wasn't the actual Prenatal class but one that prepared you for what to expect while pregnant. They talked a lot about the hazzards and warning signs in pregnancy, and we talked a lot about diet and excersize. I had a few questions but most of the stuff she talked about I have already gone through, like morning sickness. We got to watch a video on the development of your fetus and the changes it goes through. She passed around these "gell babies" that were the actual size and weight of the baby at certain weeks during your pregnancy. We all got a book on pregnancy that has information and places in it too fill out your weight and babies heartbeat etc. The class was OK but I think for the most part a lot of the info I already knew from looking on the internet. There was 11 other couples there and we had to stand in a line from soonest due date to latest due date. I was surprised to see two couples there that were already 30 weeks along! I'm not even sure why they would bother with the "Early" class ~ seems a little late to me? Of course I had to compare belly bumps with all the other ladies, I felt like I was on the bigger side but that was probably because I was wearing loose pants and a sweater? Everyone was different, it was nice to see all the different ladies. My biggest concern was about fetal movement ~ they say that you are suppose to feel the baby move between 18-22 weeks but I'm in my 22nd week now and still don't really feel anything!? So I asked when it should be a concern? She said that if you still can't feel anything by 24 weeks that you should inform your doctor. I know the baby is moving in me cause we saw it on the ultrasound and the tech lady doing the ultrasound was telling me about how active baby was and surprised when I said I couldn't feel any of it!? I figure it's just because I have to much fat and the baby just needs to be a little bigger for me to feel it!? It kinda has me a little worried but I do feel the occasional tickle so I'm sure it will come!?

So since the class was from 7-9 I didn't have time to copy down the cookie recipe so I will have to do that tonight and post it for you tomorrow. Hubby plans on finishing the distruction of the basement tonight and then this weekend we will hopefully be able to start onthe building part!! How exciting!! I can hardly wait to see it all come together, I think it will look way beter then it did! I may have to post some pics of before/ during and after!? ;)

Symmetry

First off I forgot to mention yesterday that I really do appreciate all the helpful hints on picking out a crib, there were a few things mentioned that I hadn't really thought about and I guess with the cribs that convert to beds later none of them would be able to lower cause that is part of the foot board?! I guess I need to decide how much I really want that type of crib but I do also agree that probably by the time the kid is old enough to go in a "big kid" bed we will probably want to get a different "fun" bed. Like if we have a boy I'm pretty sure my hubby wants to get him a car bed and if we have a girl them my hubby might make a bed for her with drawers underneath it like he had as a child?! Although I really like the sleigh bed look and I might be able to convince hubby to be the one to put the baby to bed for the first week or two (till I start to feel better) it would still be a pain if the front can't lower. Once again thanks for the comments, I really enjoy them - keep them coming! ;)

I noticed last night that my body is not very symmetrical and this kinda bothers me!? I looked down at my body and notice that my belly seems to stick out further on the right then the left and my left boob sticks out further then my right?! It's like I'm all twisted - maybe it's cause I'm always sleeping on the same side and it makes my body want to just twist in that direction? Like with babies, if you always put them to bed in the same position then their head can get flat spots - well it's like my belly has a flat spot from always being squished?! I'm the type of person that enjoys symmetry in my life, when I buy candle holders it's always in pairs - never odd numbers, towels are hung in pairs, even numbers are the key to my life!! ;) I'm sure eventually I will become so big that I won't notice one side sticking out further then the other and I'm sure my boobs will even out!? Well at least I can always hope!? ;)

Yesterday I felt pretty crummy all day, and I think I have noticed that a crummy day is usually followed by a good day! So today is good - so far!? :) I'm hoping that yesterday was the last time I get sick till the day I give birth! I've heard that a lot of women will vomit before giving birth, maybe a way of getting rid of any extra fluids in you? I can't wait - I probably say that at least once a week, I wish it was May already!! :)